10 on Tuesday

Once again, sorry for abandoning the blog. I've been distracted by life here. Its been going at a relaxing pace of 90 miles a minute. It has been relaxing, but its also had its crazy days.

Today is going to be the 10 on Tuesday: 5 and 5

5 things I love about being home: 5 things I miss about Haiti

5 things I love about being home

1.  Family time.

2. Driving dance parties to Justin Bieber and Jessie McCartney with my crazy sisters.

 3. Hugs.

4. Reunions at LaBodega with sweet friends!!

{not documented. utter failure.}

5. Being able to put pictures on the blog again!!

         5a. Did I mention hugs?

            5b. Did I also mention sweet time with wonderful friends and family?

5 things I miss about Haiti.

1. Jenny. (of course)   This picture is from before I left. I put her in one of my shirts and headbands. I thought maybe when I tried to sneak her through customs they would think that she was my child. In the end, I decided it would be a better idea to leave her with her real mom.

  

2. Sunsets on the hill with Guerline and Tala.

3. These precious little ones at school. 

4. My Haitian mom and dad. (I don't know how its possible that I don't have a picture of just us, but I thought I'd use the family photo.)

5. Hammock time. 

{also not pictured. I only have pictures of other people in hammocks.}

I'm still loving home. I'm definitely missing Haiti today.

Please continue to pray for:

 -my trip back to Haiti on May 12.

-my summer as I figure out what God wants me to do.

-the 20 something applications that I'm working on (and my sanity.)

 

Home

I'm sorry for abandoning the blog. There have been so many times that I've sat down to write since last Tuesday. The problem with blog abandoning is that when you abandon for a while and come back there is pressure to make the new blog post stellar, and insightful, and awesome.... I make no promises for this particular post. I've been putting off blogging because I have 3 blogs written in my head. I had been planning on writing a certain blog for about a month now. waiting for the right time. Its not seeming to come. I want to just lock myself in a room and write for a straight 3 days. I probably have enough to say.

Home has been so refreshing. As many of you know, Sundays were getting so hard in Haiti. It was turning into such a wonderful, but bitter day. I missed singing to Jesus in my language. Hearing the Bible taught in a way that I could understand. Easter was going to be so difficult to be away from my family. God knew. He knew I needed to come home. He knew that I neeed time with my family. He knew that they needed time with me. Easter was wonderful. Time with family and friends was wonderful. I'm so blessed.

Part of the reason that I came home was to work on some applications to other healthcare programs and such. The application processes have brought me to College Station and has resulted in some wonderful time with some sweet friends. I saw my roommates and friends last night for dinner, and I'm currently sipping iced coffee at Mugwalls and talking with some of my former co-workers. So many hours were spent with these wonderful people, with these sweet friends, making coffee, talking with customers, just enjoying life.

Coming home has been such an easy transition. I was worried about the reverse culture shock that I might experience. I always have gone through it in some form or another. This trip home, the transition has been so smooth. Part of me feels like I never left. I just jumped right back into life with everyone, doing normal things, dance parties in the car, late nights with the family, normal life. Its been wonderful. Maybe its been easy because I know I'm going back soon. Maybe its been easy because I feel like I now live two lives. And I've come to the realization that living in two places is not easy. Its hard. And heartbreaking, so I'm showing myself more grace and patience. Whatever it is, the transition home has been wonderful. I've gotten some rest. I've been hugged. I've spoken English. Its been wonderful.

I'm sorry for abandoning the blog, but at the same time I have been trying to drink it all in. Every second. every minute.

I'm going to do my best to blog again soon. I'll post pictures. I'll tell you about the 3 blogs that are written in my head. Eventually it will all come out!

Keep praying for my village, for my friends, my family there, and here.

M'ap Vini

I don't really know where to begin.... My heart is all over the place.

I have been intentionally vauge on the blog recently. Maybe you haven't noticed, but I have. I have 3 blogs written in my head that I just haven't had the clarity of mind to sit and write. I have avoided posting, even avoided reading other peoples blogs, because when I write, everything tends to spill out reguardless of whether or not I wanted to give all the details. I have told a few friends that I feel like I'm teetering on the see-saw of insanity: One second I'm fine, peaceful, trusting God. The next I am the opposite of all those things. Its been fun, let me tell you!

Ok. so here goes....


I'm coming home on Thursday.
As in, day-after-tomorrow. Its still not super real to me. wow.


Before you worry...there is nothing desperately wrong. It is just time. Due to recent circumstances and thoughts of my heart, (which I have not shared because I've been blog-avoiding) I need to go home.

My family is so important to me. My family members are 5 of God's biggest blessings to me. I am who I am because of them. I talked to my brother today. He has decided to spend his life serving our country. I saw him in December before I left. He has been "stationed" in Tomball since March and I'm missing it. He will leave 16 days before was planning on getting home. Basically, we didn't know this until today, but if I don't see him now, I don't know when I will. In the next few years, maybe. This is important to me.

Also, since Wednesday I've been thinking about the future. All those doors that opened when nursing school closed, while they are awesome and I'm excited about them, will lead me far away again. It was beginning to look like I would be home for a week, at camp for 5 weeks, and then very very far away again until mid-August. Some people can be away from thier families for 8 months and not even think twice about it. I can't. I could physically survive. But it wouldn't be fun. I don't do well if I'm not being hugged by loved ones. (Have I mentioned that before?)

Another door that's opened since this round of nursing school comes in the form of a monstrosity of an application for a different program. This has a very small window of time that it will be open, and requires a lot of time and effort. I will be working on this when I get home and have a more reliable internet connection.

Mainly, I'm coming home to be with my family. They need me right now, and I need them. I think God called me to love the people of Ti Guinea in Haiti. But He did not call me to abandon my love for my family. Originally the plan was for me to come home in April, but as I got more confident that I would be in College Station at nursing school I extended my trip, assuming that I would see them because I would be close.

This was not an easy decision. I first thought, "What will everyone think of me?" I let the fear of men overcome my heart. Will people think I've quit? Will they think I just got too lonely? Will they think I'm not strong enough to do this? Will they want to support me in the future? Will they think I'm flakey? Will they understand the reasons I'm coming home? I hope you do understand. If not, please ask me!

Also, I'm not quitting. In fact, I'm coming back. I'm coming back on May 12. I'm going to spend 3 weeks at home soaking up and loving on my family. Then I will return on the 12 to set up and help run the camp that I've been helping plan. Also, after 3 weeks of English, I'll need to brush up on my Kreyol before I am translating! I'll be returning again on the flight I had already had tickets for on May 23. Also, many of the doors that opened will hopefully lead me back to Haiti and this place sooner than later.

I've talked about how bittersweet it is going to be to leave. Oh my! I had no idea! I was a total mess when I told my friends here that I was leaving. I was able to tell Boss Varis and only had misty eyes. I explained everything about Coleman, and how if I don't go home now, I may not see him for a long time. And I told him I was coming back. Everyone is fully supportive, both of me going to spend time with my brother, and of me coming back. After that, I told Tala and Tchaly. I got through, "I'm leaving Thursday" and then started sobbing. Boss Varis had to finish for me. I finally pulled it together. And then Guerline walked around the corner. Seeing my red eyes she asked, "Sa ou gen?" "what's going on"  I got no words out. Just sobbing. Boss Varis told her. All I could say over and over through my tears was, "M'ap vini anko! M'ap vini anko!" (I'm coming back! I'm coming back!) 

I don't know if crying is culturally weird here, or if I'm just super pathetic when I cry. Probably both. They just kept saying, "Don't cry, please don't cry. Stop crying. You are going to make us cry. Please don't cry. You are coming back! We aren't mad!" I just wow.... it was so hard telling them I was leaving. I'm going to miss them SO much. Even now I'm biting back tears thinking about missing them. I told them its so hard to love two places. I told them that I'm going to leave half of my heart here, and take half with me to give to my family. Guerline told me, "You need a bunch of hearts if you are going to keep them with everyone you love.".  Mission accomplished. My greatest goal of being here was to love somone. Even if it was just one person. Her saying that made me realize that she knew I love her. I just hugged her and cried.

Thinking about leaving in less than 36 hours... instead of 36 days. Is a strange feeling. .

I'm excited to see my family. I need to spend time with them before Coleman leaves. I will be be coming back. I could never leave like this if I didn't know when I was coming back, and know that it was going to be soon!

I think the hardest thing I will ever have to deal with in my life is also my greatest blessing. Loving two countries. Two peoples. God has loved me so much. His love through me makes this possible.

10 on Tuesday

I have recently realized how strange my life is. Today I figured I'd use the 10 on Tuesday to highlight some weirdly strange things about my life that seem normal. Let me clarify, there are far more than 10 things that are weird about my life. These are simply the ones that stood out to me in the past few days.

1. I brush my teeth standing on my porch. In the mornings, there are usually 5-10 people at camp and so I brush my teeth with them around. Its very strange to brush your teeth with an audience. And slightly uncomfortable.

2. The other day I was talking to the lady that makes my food. I had to choose what part of the chicken I wanted. Want to know my choices? Head, neck, heart, liver, gizzard, or feet."ummmmmm. pass?"
In Haiti, feet are a treasured part of the chicken. On Saturdays I eat soup. The lady that cooks for me told me she was going to make soup for me and put the feet in it.... for about 30 mintues I acted like I was fine with it. Then I couldn't handle it any longer and I told her, as politely as possible in kreyol, "Madam Marcel, thank you for wanting to make me a delicious soup. But I want to give you the chicken feet. You can take them home and cook them.... frankly, I'm afraid of chicken feet." She laughed and thanked me for the wonderfu gift of chicken feet. I considered that a win, win. I didn't have to eat chicken feet AND I made her happy.

3. There is always the occasional frog/spider/other bug that somehow finds its way into my house and or clothing. I am completely disgusted with myself when I find a spider or bug in my clothes and just calmly brush it off or remove it from my person. Who am I?

4. I have a question for you. how big is the towel you use when you get out of the shower? Is it made of terry cloth? Ok. Well for the past 4 months I have been using a tiny little shammy-type cloth towel that is not much larger than a hand towel. I discovered a terry cloth towel a week or so ago, and have been feeling incredibly pampered each time I take a shower because I have a regular sized-terry cloth towel to look forward to.

5. Speaking of showering. When I get more than one shower in a week I feel like I've acheived something. This may be too much information, but whatever... I've never claimed to be anything but brutally honest on this blog. I am, looking forward to showering like a regular human being again. I may even shower twice a day to make up for all the showers I've missed over the past 4 months.

6. I talked to my mom this weekend and she said she was telling a friend of ours about some of my stories. He couldn't believe the things I had versus the things I didn't have. (So last week I went for 5 days without running water. We were out. There was simply no water. This is part of the reason I shower less often. You never know when you'll run out of water and be covered in soap.) Our friend couldn't believe this news, "You mean to tell me that they have cell phones, but no running water??" I hadn't thought it was all that strange until phrased that way. Oh Haiti, always an adventure!

7. It is strange to me that I can go an entire day without speaking a word of English. I suposse this is how bi-lingual people are. If you speak more than one language this may not seem weird to you. But its very weird to me. I've even caught myself thinking and dreaming in Kryeol. Very strange. But I'm not complaining, its kinda cool!

8. One thing that had never happened to me in the states, and now happens to me almost every day.... Being covered in mango juice. These mangos are super ripe, and super juciy. Many times I feel like I need to shower after eating one. There is always a small puddle at my feet when I finish, and mango juice dripping down my hands the entire time I eat it. Again, I'm not complaining. I'll miss that when I come home!

9. I've never claimed to be an early-bird. You can ask my mom about the joys of waking me up when I was little. I used to be a night-owl. Now.... I don't know what I am. My younger friends in college called me a grandma for most of my Junior and Senior year. I think its true. But being in Haiti has made me somewhat of an early bird. I am usually out of bed by 8 at the latest.... mostly because it starts getting hot at 8 and if you stay in bed you feel like you are going to cook there. I'm starting to love waking up early, but also looking forward to air conditioning and being able to sleep late!

10. I know I mention this a lot... but its true. I miss hugs. I'll admit it. I'm a hugger. I usually make sure that I get at least one good hug a day when I'm in the states. At least! I have not had a hug in almost a month. Good hug, bad hug, side hug, nothing. This is not normal for me. It may be normal for some of you, and if it is I pity you. So be prepared, I will probably tackle hug some of you when I see you for the first time. Wear your football pads!


Have a happy Tuesday

Not Selected...

This morning I spent some time dwelling on one of my favorite passages. I have clung to this so tightly so many times. And here we are, again. Clinging to God's faithfulness. Clinging to His love. Believing in His plan.

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD."
Lamentations 3:21-26

I just heard back from nursing school. "Thank you for your interest, but we regret to inform you that you were not selected for admission."
 
Not what I was expecting. I was upset, but not too upset. Texted my sister to have my parents call me. I picked up the phone:

"hello?"
"Hey honey"

Tears. I don't know why this always happens. I'll be fine until I hear my dad's voice. Then I just lose it. I think its because I know how much he cares. I know I can trust him. He is always fighting for my good. Always protects, always hopes, always loves. My father on earth is a lot like my Father in Heaven. I can trust them both with everything. But as smart as my daddy is, my God is all-knowing.

God knew this whole time. He knew before he laid the foundations of the world that this was going to happen.  He knew that I would end up applying to only one school, and throw away the other 3 applications I had started. He gave me peace that this was the right thing to do. He knows my future. I can trust Him. I was dissapointed for about 5 minutes.(I know, not very long) I wanted this so badly. But my first thought was, "Ok God. You've got this. I don't know what your plan is. But I trust you."  I know He is doing this for my good and for His glory. I just haven't seen the exciting parts yet.

I've clung to that passage in Lamentations so tightly, so many times over the last 6 years. I've spent more than one night crying myself to sleep and quoting that verse in my head. This morning I was overwhelmed by God's goodness to me. I couldn't believe how faithful He always is. He always follows through. His timing is so strange. So beautiful. This morning, while overwhelmed by blessings, I read this verse and thought about God's forever loving faithfulness. With that in mind its hard to see this rejection as a rejection, but more as millions of open doors.

I have no plans past July 3rd.
No plans whatsoever.

I've been here before. On December 11 of last year I found out I was moving to Haiti in 35 days. On December 11th I had plans for the next 8 days. 35 days later. I stepped off the plane in Port Au Prince. God is faithful.

Here I am again. I have no idea what I'll be doing on July 4th. (probably watching fireworks.... somewhere in the world) I know my God is faithful. He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion. (Phil 1:6)

I don't feel too rejected because the girl that I was 8 months ago when I applied is a totally different girl than I am now. She got rejected. Not me. She is dissapointed. Not me. She would look at me now and tell me I'm crazy. But I'm excited. One door closed. Millions have opened. Just 2 nights ago my mom said, "If you don't get into nursing school, which I'm sure you will, I have an idea for you." We'll see what God does. His ways are higher than mine.

I am so thankful that I serve a God who knows my heart fully. Who knows this was not the best for me. Who knows what IS the best for me. Who I can trust fully, with no exceptions. I am so thankful for the blessings He's given me this week, even the ones that seem to be dissapointing. I'll count it all joy.

Welcome back to the land of the Inbetween....

10 on Tuesday

So honestly today I forgot it was Tuesday. I had a friend remind me this morning, and then after chatting for a while I completely moved on and forgot about it being Tuesday. That being said, I didn't write this post in my head all day. So lets see if I can come up with 10 somethings on this Tuesday ok?

I'll start with the easy stuff.

1. Today I taught school. I didn't have school at the end of last week because of something. I know the Kreyol word. And it means that they didn't have school cancelled. I think it was some sort of teachers meeting, conference, get-together type deal. Anyway. So I have missed the last few days of school. Today I had school. Which is always an experience. We were learning simple things... Months of the year. But the exciting part was that the wind felt like it was blowing a million miles an hour (this particular "classroom" is under a canopy tent. not much shielded from the elements.) There were a few times I thought that I was going to have to catch the black board in case it flew backwards. Then the wind would shift leaving me feeling like I needed to run for my life so I wouldn't get smashed by it falling on me. So that made months of the year interesting. When I asked what months and then what day their birthdays were in I discovered a little one with a birthday the day after my mom's. (He was less amused and excited than I was about this news. Oh well.)

2. This afternoon I tried to grab a nap at least 3 times and was unsucessful. That was a bummer. I could definitely have used one! But here we are. Its 7pm and now I feel fine, plenty of energy.... figures.

3. I saw Lelene today. Her leg is starting to look better. I feel weird saying that. It always looks bad. It always looks abnormal. But it seems to be starting to close up some. She told me that the nurse she has been going to for wound care has stopped washing it with betadine, and stopped applying antibiotic. She also has stopped washing it with soap and water. Its been over a week since this wound has been washed. It looked amazingly ok, but I urged and begged her to keep washing and keeping it clean. (We shall see. TIH.)

4. Today is the 40 day marker. I have 40 days left here. Wow. Ever time I talk or think about leaving that lump in the back of my throat appears. I don't want to miss these last 40 days. I don't think I will. I'm trying to soak up every second. Every person. Every relationship. I don't know when I will see these beautiful people again. That day is not promised to me. And that makes me sad. It makes me want to pack them all up and bring them home with me. (Lord knows, we have enough suitcases in the depot to hold everyone!) I pray that I will see them again. Just thinking about not seeing them again makes my heart break a little, and it makes me a little nauseous. I don't know what the future holds. But I know who does, and I know He is so very good. (and, lets face it, He's a way better planner than me!) Leaving is going to be so bittersweet.

5. Not only am I trying to invest my time with people here, but also with my Savior. I've had so many, many hard moments these past few weeks. God has used those times when I'm alone. He's called me to His word and whispered peace and hope to my soul. Sitting in the middle of God's creation and looking at all that He's made and then thinking that He is even concerned with me, much less gave His Son for me so that I may be allowed to enjoy Him forever. wow. I figured that I would get a lot of quality God time when I moved away from everyone and everything familiar to live with people I didn't know or understand, but I had no idea how fun and wonderful it would be!

6. Today is the 40 day marker. I only have 40 days until I am in the airport in Houston hugging my family, talking fast, and crying (lets be honest. We'll all know I'll be crying.) Leaving Haiti will be bitter. Coming home will be oh so sweet! I can't wait to sit at the kitchen table and drink coffee with my mom. Or sit with my dad on the couch. Or stay up late with Hopie laughing and talking with her sitting on my bed while I'm pretending to sleep. Or catch up with Gracie on all that is going on in all the world. I will miss seeing Coleman by 17 days. But I'm sure a long phone conversation will be in order. I can't wait to spend the week between being home and going to camp soaking up life with my loved ones. I can't wait to have a telephone that always has signal and doesn't cost me an arm and leg to talk to people! I can't wait to see all my incredibly wonderful friends when I go up to College Station or at camp! I can't wait to sit in church on Sunday May 29th and feel "home." I'm sure that week will be full of happy, happy tears and lots of hugs! I can NOT wait.

7. I'm currently still waiting and praying about nursing school. I was confident I was going to hear a week ago. And every day between now and then. I was supossed to hear between mid March and mid April. If I'm not mistaken "mid April" is in 3 days. I talked to a friend that is in the school right now and she said she didn't find out until early May. And at that point she had been waitlisted. I don't know if I have the sanity to wait that long. But I've had the "God's timing is perfect" conversation about 43 times in the last 3 days. I have my plan. (And it is awesome, if I do say so myself!) But God has His. And so far He has a perfect track record of topping my plans. He also has a perfect track record of being incredibly faithful, incredibly good. Maybe I should accept that His timing is perfect. His plan is cosmic. He's got this world under control. He doesn't need my help.

8. On a lighter note. I sometimes joke around that I'm becoming a crazy island jungle lady. (Being the only one that you know on a tropical island will do that to you.) Today I almost went crazy island lady on a group of about 55 Haitians. Here's the story. Boss Varis, Guerline, Boss Tchaly, and I all went to town to buy gas and a few random supplies.
The vehicle I drive here is one of those old "Mark III" vans, with the lazy boy bucket seats, and curtains on the windows, and the high roof. You know the van I'm talking about? We all had a friend with that car. You wanted to ride with them on road trips because they laid the back seat into a bed AND they had a TV in thier car. Ok. So I drive one of those in Haiti. I want to go on record as saying I have never driven a car that is harder to manuver, or with more blind spots. Maybe I would make a horrible soccer mom. I don't know. Its not the size of the car that bothers me. I learned how to drive in a Ford F-250. I can handle big cars. This van is just..... the worst. 
(Phew. ok. van rant over. ready to move on? me too.)
So we go to the gas station. I draw a lot of attention when I go into town. I am a white, female driver. Not your typical everyday sight. Also, apparently the stereotype that women can't drive exists here too. (especially white women.) Long story short. I ended up with about 10 men standing around my car shouting things like, "Come forward! Go back! Turn left! Turn right! Gack! Forward! Stop! Go!" But they were yelling these things ALL at the same time and in kreyol. I got frustrated and declared loudly that I didn't understand what they wanted me to do. So 15 more men joined in to help. Perfect. Just what I need. 25 people yelling different orders at me in another language! We eventually got it all sorted out I got the stupid huge, dumb blind-spot van in the right place and we purchased that gas! (Whoop! Let's get OUT of here!) I also explained, in no uncertain terms, to Boss Varis that I never wanted that to happen again. Nothing makes me feel like a dumb white girl more than 25 people yelling conflicting commands in another language. And the other 30 people discussing how the white girl can't understand or drive (gas stations here are much more crowded than ones in america.) Needless to say. This was not the highlight of my day. But I did survive and make it out in one peice and only yelled minimal mean things in kreyol!

9. For those of you that only comment on blog posts involving frogs.... here you go. I had a frog in my house last night. I know. This is really not a big deal. I am not scared of frogs. But what I have come to realize is that I am scared of the unpredictability of frogs. If you leave them alone, they may just sit there and eath the mosquitoes, or they may jump in your bed and make it all slimy. Either way. There was a frog in my house. Not a dry warty one that moves slow. A sleek, green-brown, slimy one...with an impressive jump range. Anyway. I went through many scenarios.
1. Shoo him out? (and risk him jumping around and hiding.)
2. Smash him? (this is typically what the Haitians do. but I try to avoid amphibian guts when possible.)
3. Electrocute him with my suprisingly powerful mosquito raquet? (this got a few votes from people who were supporting me through this hazard on skype, but I decided against it.)
4. Allow him to co-habitate and hope that he eats mosquitoes and does not make my bed slimy.

I eventually opted for option 4. Jumping frogs are just too risky. Eventually he made the mistake of coming into the open on the floor. I captured him in a random cup that I had, but then I got distracted and forgot about him until this morning. By that time he had given up on life.  Poor froggie, I didn't mean to kill you.

10. I really think I should be exempt from writing a tenth fact. numbers 8 and 9 were long drawn out stories with way more details than necessary. Sorry. Also, I think I might develop carpal tunnel syndrome from typing too much. I think I may take bets on who thinks I'll start showing symptoms... this could be a fun game. Let me know what you think.



Happy Tuesday everyone!

Bondye beni nou anpil!

Ok, I don't know why, but tiny, grey haired Haitian men have got to be the most adorable people ever. You can look at thier eyes and know that so much life has been lived in them.
I have two men that I want to tell you about. They have both stolen my heart and made me love this country even more.

Tonight I was sitting on my porch just wasting time on facebook. I saw Tancred walking my way. There was no reason for him to be over by my house since he always sits at the gate, and he usually isn't around at this time of the evening. I walked over to where he was and asked him what was going on, assuming there must be a problem. We began talking, and I'm still not sure if there was a problem or not, but nevertheless we got it settled. And then he began to tell me about how he was not happy that I was here all alone. So he decided he was going to sit and talk to me until the night guards got there. We talked for a while about nothing in particular. In case you don't remember, this is the man whom we were able to bless with a house in February. I asked him how his new house was and if he liked it.
His reaction was a little confusing. He looked angry for a second and then began to talk very fast. I realized he reacted this way because he couldn't even believe I was asking such a ridiculous question. He said, "You SAW my old house! You wouldn't even let your dog sleep there. You know that. (true)." He talked for a while about how great his new house was. Since it rained last night I asked about the rain. I thought he was going to cry when he told me that it did not come into the house! We talked about how awesome the sound of rain on the tin roof is. He talked about how "Bondye te beni nou"-"God has blessed us [his family.]"
He told me that today at the gate he heard me tell one of my friends from church that I was leaving on May 23 and that he was going to miss me. *biting back tears*.  I told him that I was not happy to leave. I wanted to stay here. Now the tears are welling in my eyes, threatening to run hot down my cheeks, my voice is getting all choked up and cracky. I tried to explain how God has put love in my heart for the people of Haiti, but that I love the people of Ti Guinea most of all! When I am at home I miss everyone here. I always pray for them. My heart hurts to come back. I told him that even if I'm away a very long time I don't want anyone to think I've forgotten them. I will never forget you. I told him the reason I am leaving in May is to finish school. He said, "I thought you were finished already." I had to explain that I was finished with one kind of school, but need to go back to school at least one more time, maybe two, to finish learning all that I want to learn.He smiled and said, "When you finish learning everything you will come back and serve us here?" It was a question, but by the way he asked it he already knew the answer. I shared my dreams for the future and he said he couldn't wait for me to come back and help them all.
Then we moved on and just talked about other things. Like how much we love the mountain, how beautiful it is up there. How God has blessed us with all these beautiful things here.
It was a precious, precious conversation with such a precious man. He's not someone I get to talk to on a day-to-day basis, but I'm so glad he came to say hello tonight. It started getting dark, and after making sure at least 3 times that I was going to be ok if left all alone, he decided to go home, munching on a mango as he went. 
I'm so blessed by the hearts of these people. He was so gracious to listen to my Kreyol (and compliment me on it.). I'm so glad we were able to give him a house. He knows he is blessed. He is so thankful. It is so beautiful to talk to someone so thankful.

 I believe I'v talked about this man before. I honestly don't know his name. Some people call him 'iron hands", I call him "the most adorable little man ever". Gersan told me he is the toughest man in the village. He is also somewhere around 5 feet tall. Did I mention I think he's adorable? I do. He came to me with a machete cut. He had been slaughtering a cow and somehow, I think he fell on the machete. He lost quite a bit of blood considering his age and size. The cut was deep, and I was worried about infection because it had been two days, and he said the machete had cow blood on it when he cut himself. His cut was decently deep, and his hands are so incredibly tough from all the work he's done in his lifetime. Hence the name iron hands. The first time I cleaned it there is no doubt in my mind that it was incredibly painful. But he stood and just watched and didn't so much as flinch or even blink. It was incredible. I asked if it hurt and he just smiled and said. "oh yes!" I found out later that this man has had a long history of running Americans out of the village. He has never liked Americans and doesn't welcome them here. Because of his situation, and my friendship with his daughter-in-law, I think he was persuaded to come to us for help. As he began to heal I saw his walls come down. He told me about his family. His wife, he told me, is crazy, she doesn't remember him or their kids.She only remembers her sister, so she lives with them to help take care of her. He has a few living kids, but most of them left and are in the Dominican Republic. He has no living brothers or sisters. He told me about his garden on the mountain, but how its becoming hard to climb up there to take care of it. I asked him his age the first day he came. He had no idea. Two days later he came back with a tiny paper folded and put in a matchbox that he kept in his pocket. It had "74" written on it, and he informed me that he found out, or figured out his age. It was so adorable.

Thankfully his hand began healing well. He really could have used stiches, but the butterfly bandages worked almost as well. He always thanks me before he leaves. At his last visit I told him I was so glad he had come and I was so happy that his hand was all healed. He looked at me with the most sincerity and told me, "Mesi boucoup, miss! Mesi anpil, miss! Mesi anpil anpil!" -"Thank you so much, nurse! Thank you a lot, nurse! Thank you a lot, a lot!"  I had to fight the urge to give him a huge hug and tell him that I loved him. (That would be somewhat culturally inappropriate).

I am so thankful for these two old men. Life has been lived in them. You can look in their eyes and see that.

God has blessed us! Bondye te beni nou!