Its been a while since I've written. A very long while. I can't really pinpoint the reason for this.
Being busy?
Being lazy?
Not having thoughts?
Not wanting to have thoughts?
I really don't know. But today, for some reason I really am missing this old friend. Maybe its because I'm missing home in Ti Guinea? That's when me and the writing obsession really fell for each other? Maybe its because it was this time last year that I found out I was moving to the country that I loved, to do something totally unknown. I have tears in my eyes, and running down my face as I write this. Part of me is wishing it was last year and I am about to embark on the most incredible journey of my life. Having no idea the people that I'm about to meet...The people who are going to steal my heart, teach my heart, break my heart, and heal my heart. I miss them. Today especially, I miss them.
This morning as we sang in church, I couldn't stop thinking about the Sunday that I woke up with a headache, skipped church in the village and went up to the mountain to pray and to spend time in prayer. I couldn't stop seeing the valley in my mind. Hearing the kids yelling my name, "Norell! Norell!", as I tried to disguise myself and have some alone time with Jesus. I miss the way that the village broke my heart. I miss the lessons that I learned through small conversations with old men, with young girls, with old women, and with little ones who weren't yet old enough to talk.
This year I'm about to embark on another journey. One that looks very different than the one last year. I sit here missing the past, yet looking forward to the future. The same nervous feeling in my stomach, fear of the unknown. The Haiti adventure was one that took my breath away so many times. It was painful, it was hard, but it was so incredibly beautiful. The adventure I'm about to begin will be tough, but I think it will have its joys. The one thing that I know is why I'm going. I'm going to nursing school, to learn, so that eventually (hopefully) I can move back to Ti Guinea, and help the women that I already love. I can see their faces when I close my eyes. I can hear their giggles and smirks when I pronounce words wrong, or hug them and tell them they are beautiful and that I love them. This journey is unknown just like the last, but hopefully, it will end in the same place, with the same faces.
My heart beats is for the women of Ti Guinea. For the women of Ba Limbe, and the other surrounding villages. My dream is to love them, to teach them, and to live with them. I have many thoughts on how I want to accomplish this. Health education, women's health, midwifery, general education and skills training, etc. but, lest I get caught up in the details, I'm just envisioning these women. Their faces, their names, their stories.
I miss my old friend the blog. I miss living with the people who inspired its stories. When I started writing, it was a blog about me, but how foolish I was to not see that this is about their stories. But more importantly, its about God's story in all of us. How He is weaving our hearts together. How He is satisfying us.
Its so easy to look to other things for our satisfaction. Its easy for me to look towards the future and say that once I finish school, get married, and move to Haiti I'll be ok. But I know that's not true. There are so many things that I look towards for fulfillment that will never satisfy me. I'll never be "ok" unless I look to Christ for all the fulfillment, joy, and satisfaction that I need. He's the reason that all these things are good. I am so undeserving of the blessings that he has lavished on my heart.
I hope that me and this old friend will get to spend more time together. That I will spend more time writing, because the lessons I learn while writing are just more undeserved blessings from Him.
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
Showing posts with label School. Show all posts
12.04.2011
7.13.2011
Still Alive
I've gotten a few comments, notes, emails from worried friends recently...
"Are you ok?" "Are you still alive?" "Why did you quit blogging when you came back from Haiti?" "Are you going to start blogging again?"
I think the answer to all of those questions is "YES!" I'm ok. I'm alive. I did stop, but I'm going to start again. Here goes...
Dear Blog,
I've missed you so much over the last month and a half. Its crazy how I didn't realize what a good thing I had till it was gone. I've missed you, you are such a good listener, you make me laugh, you make me cry. When I don't tell you what's going on in my life I feel totally crazy, like my thoughts are only a big jumble of random, but when I write them out, I can actually process what's happening.
Ok, so writing to the imaginary persona of my blog feels weird, so I'm just gonna write.... I'm out of practice, so bear with me. I'm sure the total-life word vomiting will come back like riding a bike.
I'm back from Haiti, but I don't think my journey is over. I'm on so many journeys right now. Some are new and fresh and exciting and challenging. Others are frustrating, monotonous, and tearful, while still others are windy, unknown, and looming over my head with a sense of doom and sunshine all together. I'm glad that the blog is flexible. Its probably going to be changing gears. I doubt that I'll have crazy life stories happening every day, or language-barrier issues, or other things I experienced in Haiti, but life continues. And up to this point God's kept my life pretty exciting and unpredictable.
So... Where have I been? I've actually been pretty busy this last month and a half! I went back to work at Frontier Camp as the Health Care Assistant for the beginning of the summer. It was so fun. So great to see all of my close friends again. Camp has always been my second home of sorts, and I love being there. The only problem was that I didn't have internet access while I was there, so the blog (and sometimes my sanity) suffered.
I've been home from camp for about a week, but dove straight into a summer school class. In fact, last week I was driving back and forth to camp from my class. Totally exhausting, but definitely worth it. Last week I had the opportunity to speak to the kids at camp about my experiences in Haiti, some of what I had done there over the past 4 years, and what God has been, and continues to be doing in the hearts of the people of the country. It was so rewarding to get to talk to these kids and encourage them to have a missional heart and mindset. When I wasn't driving last week I was studying, but now, with my first test out of the way I know what to expect from the class and I'm ready to be back to blogging!
Now, with no more Haiti stories what am I going to be talking about? Well, I usually just word-vomit my life, so we'll see how that goes. I also have a million ideas of things to try this summer, crafts, recipes, hobbies... I'll probably bring back the 10 on Tuesday... we'll see what happens.
I feel weird writing this post, its like I've been "on break" from a good friend and have a whole lot of catching up to do... My writing is feeling rusty right now, so I may just leave some of the catching up for later. But stay tuned for pictures, stories, ideas, and whatever else may run through my head!
"Are you ok?" "Are you still alive?" "Why did you quit blogging when you came back from Haiti?" "Are you going to start blogging again?"
I think the answer to all of those questions is "YES!" I'm ok. I'm alive. I did stop, but I'm going to start again. Here goes...
Dear Blog,
I've missed you so much over the last month and a half. Its crazy how I didn't realize what a good thing I had till it was gone. I've missed you, you are such a good listener, you make me laugh, you make me cry. When I don't tell you what's going on in my life I feel totally crazy, like my thoughts are only a big jumble of random, but when I write them out, I can actually process what's happening.
Ok, so writing to the imaginary persona of my blog feels weird, so I'm just gonna write.... I'm out of practice, so bear with me. I'm sure the total-life word vomiting will come back like riding a bike.
I'm back from Haiti, but I don't think my journey is over. I'm on so many journeys right now. Some are new and fresh and exciting and challenging. Others are frustrating, monotonous, and tearful, while still others are windy, unknown, and looming over my head with a sense of doom and sunshine all together. I'm glad that the blog is flexible. Its probably going to be changing gears. I doubt that I'll have crazy life stories happening every day, or language-barrier issues, or other things I experienced in Haiti, but life continues. And up to this point God's kept my life pretty exciting and unpredictable.
So... Where have I been? I've actually been pretty busy this last month and a half! I went back to work at Frontier Camp as the Health Care Assistant for the beginning of the summer. It was so fun. So great to see all of my close friends again. Camp has always been my second home of sorts, and I love being there. The only problem was that I didn't have internet access while I was there, so the blog (and sometimes my sanity) suffered.
I've been home from camp for about a week, but dove straight into a summer school class. In fact, last week I was driving back and forth to camp from my class. Totally exhausting, but definitely worth it. Last week I had the opportunity to speak to the kids at camp about my experiences in Haiti, some of what I had done there over the past 4 years, and what God has been, and continues to be doing in the hearts of the people of the country. It was so rewarding to get to talk to these kids and encourage them to have a missional heart and mindset. When I wasn't driving last week I was studying, but now, with my first test out of the way I know what to expect from the class and I'm ready to be back to blogging!
Now, with no more Haiti stories what am I going to be talking about? Well, I usually just word-vomit my life, so we'll see how that goes. I also have a million ideas of things to try this summer, crafts, recipes, hobbies... I'll probably bring back the 10 on Tuesday... we'll see what happens.
I feel weird writing this post, its like I've been "on break" from a good friend and have a whole lot of catching up to do... My writing is feeling rusty right now, so I may just leave some of the catching up for later. But stay tuned for pictures, stories, ideas, and whatever else may run through my head!
4.13.2011
Not Selected...
This morning I spent some time dwelling on one of my favorite passages. I have clung to this so tightly so many times. And here we are, again. Clinging to God's faithfulness. Clinging to His love. Believing in His plan.
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD."
Lamentations 3:21-26
I just heard back from nursing school. "Thank you for your interest, but we regret to inform you that you were not selected for admission."
Not what I was expecting. I was upset, but not too upset. Texted my sister to have my parents call me. I picked up the phone:
"hello?"
"Hey honey"
Tears. I don't know why this always happens. I'll be fine until I hear my dad's voice. Then I just lose it. I think its because I know how much he cares. I know I can trust him. He is always fighting for my good. Always protects, always hopes, always loves. My father on earth is a lot like my Father in Heaven. I can trust them both with everything. But as smart as my daddy is, my God is all-knowing.
God knew this whole time. He knew before he laid the foundations of the world that this was going to happen. He knew that I would end up applying to only one school, and throw away the other 3 applications I had started. He gave me peace that this was the right thing to do. He knows my future. I can trust Him. I was dissapointed for about 5 minutes.(I know, not very long) I wanted this so badly. But my first thought was, "Ok God. You've got this. I don't know what your plan is. But I trust you." I know He is doing this for my good and for His glory. I just haven't seen the exciting parts yet.
I've clung to that passage in Lamentations so tightly, so many times over the last 6 years. I've spent more than one night crying myself to sleep and quoting that verse in my head. This morning I was overwhelmed by God's goodness to me. I couldn't believe how faithful He always is. He always follows through. His timing is so strange. So beautiful. This morning, while overwhelmed by blessings, I read this verse and thought about God's forever loving faithfulness. With that in mind its hard to see this rejection as a rejection, but more as millions of open doors.
I have no plans past July 3rd.
No plans whatsoever.
I've been here before. On December 11 of last year I found out I was moving to Haiti in 35 days. On December 11th I had plans for the next 8 days. 35 days later. I stepped off the plane in Port Au Prince. God is faithful.
Here I am again. I have no idea what I'll be doing on July 4th. (probably watching fireworks.... somewhere in the world) I know my God is faithful. He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion. (Phil 1:6)
I don't feel too rejected because the girl that I was 8 months ago when I applied is a totally different girl than I am now. She got rejected. Not me. She is dissapointed. Not me. She would look at me now and tell me I'm crazy. But I'm excited. One door closed. Millions have opened. Just 2 nights ago my mom said, "If you don't get into nursing school, which I'm sure you will, I have an idea for you." We'll see what God does. His ways are higher than mine.
I am so thankful that I serve a God who knows my heart fully. Who knows this was not the best for me. Who knows what IS the best for me. Who I can trust fully, with no exceptions. I am so thankful for the blessings He's given me this week, even the ones that seem to be dissapointing. I'll count it all joy.
Welcome back to the land of the Inbetween....
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD."
Lamentations 3:21-26
I just heard back from nursing school. "Thank you for your interest, but we regret to inform you that you were not selected for admission."
Not what I was expecting. I was upset, but not too upset. Texted my sister to have my parents call me. I picked up the phone:
"hello?"
"Hey honey"
Tears. I don't know why this always happens. I'll be fine until I hear my dad's voice. Then I just lose it. I think its because I know how much he cares. I know I can trust him. He is always fighting for my good. Always protects, always hopes, always loves. My father on earth is a lot like my Father in Heaven. I can trust them both with everything. But as smart as my daddy is, my God is all-knowing.
God knew this whole time. He knew before he laid the foundations of the world that this was going to happen. He knew that I would end up applying to only one school, and throw away the other 3 applications I had started. He gave me peace that this was the right thing to do. He knows my future. I can trust Him. I was dissapointed for about 5 minutes.(I know, not very long) I wanted this so badly. But my first thought was, "Ok God. You've got this. I don't know what your plan is. But I trust you." I know He is doing this for my good and for His glory. I just haven't seen the exciting parts yet.
I've clung to that passage in Lamentations so tightly, so many times over the last 6 years. I've spent more than one night crying myself to sleep and quoting that verse in my head. This morning I was overwhelmed by God's goodness to me. I couldn't believe how faithful He always is. He always follows through. His timing is so strange. So beautiful. This morning, while overwhelmed by blessings, I read this verse and thought about God's forever loving faithfulness. With that in mind its hard to see this rejection as a rejection, but more as millions of open doors.
I have no plans past July 3rd.
No plans whatsoever.
I've been here before. On December 11 of last year I found out I was moving to Haiti in 35 days. On December 11th I had plans for the next 8 days. 35 days later. I stepped off the plane in Port Au Prince. God is faithful.
Here I am again. I have no idea what I'll be doing on July 4th. (probably watching fireworks.... somewhere in the world) I know my God is faithful. He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion. (Phil 1:6)
I don't feel too rejected because the girl that I was 8 months ago when I applied is a totally different girl than I am now. She got rejected. Not me. She is dissapointed. Not me. She would look at me now and tell me I'm crazy. But I'm excited. One door closed. Millions have opened. Just 2 nights ago my mom said, "If you don't get into nursing school, which I'm sure you will, I have an idea for you." We'll see what God does. His ways are higher than mine.
I am so thankful that I serve a God who knows my heart fully. Who knows this was not the best for me. Who knows what IS the best for me. Who I can trust fully, with no exceptions. I am so thankful for the blessings He's given me this week, even the ones that seem to be dissapointing. I'll count it all joy.
Welcome back to the land of the Inbetween....
4.12.2011
10 on Tuesday
So honestly today I forgot it was Tuesday. I had a friend remind me this morning, and then after chatting for a while I completely moved on and forgot about it being Tuesday. That being said, I didn't write this post in my head all day. So lets see if I can come up with 10 somethings on this Tuesday ok?
I'll start with the easy stuff.
1. Today I taught school. I didn't have school at the end of last week because of something. I know the Kreyol word. And it means that they didn't have school cancelled. I think it was some sort of teachers meeting, conference, get-together type deal. Anyway. So I have missed the last few days of school. Today I had school. Which is always an experience. We were learning simple things... Months of the year. But the exciting part was that the wind felt like it was blowing a million miles an hour (this particular "classroom" is under a canopy tent. not much shielded from the elements.) There were a few times I thought that I was going to have to catch the black board in case it flew backwards. Then the wind would shift leaving me feeling like I needed to run for my life so I wouldn't get smashed by it falling on me. So that made months of the year interesting. When I asked what months and then what day their birthdays were in I discovered a little one with a birthday the day after my mom's. (He was less amused and excited than I was about this news. Oh well.)
2. This afternoon I tried to grab a nap at least 3 times and was unsucessful. That was a bummer. I could definitely have used one! But here we are. Its 7pm and now I feel fine, plenty of energy.... figures.
3. I saw Lelene today. Her leg is starting to look better. I feel weird saying that. It always looks bad. It always looks abnormal. But it seems to be starting to close up some. She told me that the nurse she has been going to for wound care has stopped washing it with betadine, and stopped applying antibiotic. She also has stopped washing it with soap and water. Its been over a week since this wound has been washed. It looked amazingly ok, but I urged and begged her to keep washing and keeping it clean. (We shall see. TIH.)
4. Today is the 40 day marker. I have 40 days left here. Wow. Ever time I talk or think about leaving that lump in the back of my throat appears. I don't want to miss these last 40 days. I don't think I will. I'm trying to soak up every second. Every person. Every relationship. I don't know when I will see these beautiful people again. That day is not promised to me. And that makes me sad. It makes me want to pack them all up and bring them home with me. (Lord knows, we have enough suitcases in the depot to hold everyone!) I pray that I will see them again. Just thinking about not seeing them again makes my heart break a little, and it makes me a little nauseous. I don't know what the future holds. But I know who does, and I know He is so very good. (and, lets face it, He's a way better planner than me!) Leaving is going to be so bittersweet.
5. Not only am I trying to invest my time with people here, but also with my Savior. I've had so many, many hard moments these past few weeks. God has used those times when I'm alone. He's called me to His word and whispered peace and hope to my soul. Sitting in the middle of God's creation and looking at all that He's made and then thinking that He is even concerned with me, much less gave His Son for me so that I may be allowed to enjoy Him forever. wow. I figured that I would get a lot of quality God time when I moved away from everyone and everything familiar to live with people I didn't know or understand, but I had no idea how fun and wonderful it would be!
6. Today is the 40 day marker. I only have 40 days until I am in the airport in Houston hugging my family, talking fast, and crying (lets be honest. We'll all know I'll be crying.) Leaving Haiti will be bitter. Coming home will be oh so sweet! I can't wait to sit at the kitchen table and drink coffee with my mom. Or sit with my dad on the couch. Or stay up late with Hopie laughing and talking with her sitting on my bed while I'm pretending to sleep. Or catch up with Gracie on all that is going on in all the world. I will miss seeing Coleman by 17 days. But I'm sure a long phone conversation will be in order. I can't wait to spend the week between being home and going to camp soaking up life with my loved ones. I can't wait to have a telephone that always has signal and doesn't cost me an arm and leg to talk to people! I can't wait to see all my incredibly wonderful friends when I go up to College Station or at camp! I can't wait to sit in church on Sunday May 29th and feel "home." I'm sure that week will be full of happy, happy tears and lots of hugs! I can NOT wait.
7. I'm currently still waiting and praying about nursing school. I was confident I was going to hear a week ago. And every day between now and then. I was supossed to hear between mid March and mid April. If I'm not mistaken "mid April" is in 3 days. I talked to a friend that is in the school right now and she said she didn't find out until early May. And at that point she had been waitlisted. I don't know if I have the sanity to wait that long. But I've had the "God's timing is perfect" conversation about 43 times in the last 3 days. I have my plan. (And it is awesome, if I do say so myself!) But God has His. And so far He has a perfect track record of topping my plans. He also has a perfect track record of being incredibly faithful, incredibly good. Maybe I should accept that His timing is perfect. His plan is cosmic. He's got this world under control. He doesn't need my help.
8. On a lighter note. I sometimes joke around that I'm becoming a crazy island jungle lady. (Being the only one that you know on a tropical island will do that to you.) Today I almost went crazy island lady on a group of about 55 Haitians. Here's the story. Boss Varis, Guerline, Boss Tchaly, and I all went to town to buy gas and a few random supplies.
The vehicle I drive here is one of those old "Mark III" vans, with the lazy boy bucket seats, and curtains on the windows, and the high roof. You know the van I'm talking about? We all had a friend with that car. You wanted to ride with them on road trips because they laid the back seat into a bed AND they had a TV in thier car. Ok. So I drive one of those in Haiti. I want to go on record as saying I have never driven a car that is harder to manuver, or with more blind spots. Maybe I would make a horrible soccer mom. I don't know. Its not the size of the car that bothers me. I learned how to drive in a Ford F-250. I can handle big cars. This van is just..... the worst.
(Phew. ok. van rant over. ready to move on? me too.)
So we go to the gas station. I draw a lot of attention when I go into town. I am a white, female driver. Not your typical everyday sight. Also, apparently the stereotype that women can't drive exists here too. (especially white women.) Long story short. I ended up with about 10 men standing around my car shouting things like, "Come forward! Go back! Turn left! Turn right! Gack! Forward! Stop! Go!" But they were yelling these things ALL at the same time and in kreyol. I got frustrated and declared loudly that I didn't understand what they wanted me to do. So 15 more men joined in to help. Perfect. Just what I need. 25 people yelling different orders at me in another language! We eventually got it all sorted out I got the stupid huge, dumb blind-spot van in the right place and we purchased that gas! (Whoop! Let's get OUT of here!) I also explained, in no uncertain terms, to Boss Varis that I never wanted that to happen again. Nothing makes me feel like a dumb white girl more than 25 people yelling conflicting commands in another language. And the other 30 people discussing how the white girl can't understand or drive (gas stations here are much more crowded than ones in america.) Needless to say. This was not the highlight of my day. But I did survive and make it out in one peice and only yelled minimal mean things in kreyol!
9. For those of you that only comment on blog posts involving frogs.... here you go. I had a frog in my house last night. I know. This is really not a big deal. I am not scared of frogs. But what I have come to realize is that I am scared of the unpredictability of frogs. If you leave them alone, they may just sit there and eath the mosquitoes, or they may jump in your bed and make it all slimy. Either way. There was a frog in my house. Not a dry warty one that moves slow. A sleek, green-brown, slimy one...with an impressive jump range. Anyway. I went through many scenarios.
1. Shoo him out? (and risk him jumping around and hiding.)
2. Smash him? (this is typically what the Haitians do. but I try to avoid amphibian guts when possible.)
3. Electrocute him with my suprisingly powerful mosquito raquet? (this got a few votes from people who were supporting me through this hazard on skype, but I decided against it.)
4. Allow him to co-habitate and hope that he eats mosquitoes and does not make my bed slimy.
I eventually opted for option 4. Jumping frogs are just too risky. Eventually he made the mistake of coming into the open on the floor. I captured him in a random cup that I had, but then I got distracted and forgot about him until this morning. By that time he had given up on life. Poor froggie, I didn't mean to kill you.
10. I really think I should be exempt from writing a tenth fact. numbers 8 and 9 were long drawn out stories with way more details than necessary. Sorry. Also, I think I might develop carpal tunnel syndrome from typing too much. I think I may take bets on who thinks I'll start showing symptoms... this could be a fun game. Let me know what you think.
Happy Tuesday everyone!
I'll start with the easy stuff.
1. Today I taught school. I didn't have school at the end of last week because of something. I know the Kreyol word. And it means that they didn't have school cancelled. I think it was some sort of teachers meeting, conference, get-together type deal. Anyway. So I have missed the last few days of school. Today I had school. Which is always an experience. We were learning simple things... Months of the year. But the exciting part was that the wind felt like it was blowing a million miles an hour (this particular "classroom" is under a canopy tent. not much shielded from the elements.) There were a few times I thought that I was going to have to catch the black board in case it flew backwards. Then the wind would shift leaving me feeling like I needed to run for my life so I wouldn't get smashed by it falling on me. So that made months of the year interesting. When I asked what months and then what day their birthdays were in I discovered a little one with a birthday the day after my mom's. (He was less amused and excited than I was about this news. Oh well.)
2. This afternoon I tried to grab a nap at least 3 times and was unsucessful. That was a bummer. I could definitely have used one! But here we are. Its 7pm and now I feel fine, plenty of energy.... figures.
3. I saw Lelene today. Her leg is starting to look better. I feel weird saying that. It always looks bad. It always looks abnormal. But it seems to be starting to close up some. She told me that the nurse she has been going to for wound care has stopped washing it with betadine, and stopped applying antibiotic. She also has stopped washing it with soap and water. Its been over a week since this wound has been washed. It looked amazingly ok, but I urged and begged her to keep washing and keeping it clean. (We shall see. TIH.)
4. Today is the 40 day marker. I have 40 days left here. Wow. Ever time I talk or think about leaving that lump in the back of my throat appears. I don't want to miss these last 40 days. I don't think I will. I'm trying to soak up every second. Every person. Every relationship. I don't know when I will see these beautiful people again. That day is not promised to me. And that makes me sad. It makes me want to pack them all up and bring them home with me. (Lord knows, we have enough suitcases in the depot to hold everyone!) I pray that I will see them again. Just thinking about not seeing them again makes my heart break a little, and it makes me a little nauseous. I don't know what the future holds. But I know who does, and I know He is so very good. (and, lets face it, He's a way better planner than me!) Leaving is going to be so bittersweet.
5. Not only am I trying to invest my time with people here, but also with my Savior. I've had so many, many hard moments these past few weeks. God has used those times when I'm alone. He's called me to His word and whispered peace and hope to my soul. Sitting in the middle of God's creation and looking at all that He's made and then thinking that He is even concerned with me, much less gave His Son for me so that I may be allowed to enjoy Him forever. wow. I figured that I would get a lot of quality God time when I moved away from everyone and everything familiar to live with people I didn't know or understand, but I had no idea how fun and wonderful it would be!
6. Today is the 40 day marker. I only have 40 days until I am in the airport in Houston hugging my family, talking fast, and crying (lets be honest. We'll all know I'll be crying.) Leaving Haiti will be bitter. Coming home will be oh so sweet! I can't wait to sit at the kitchen table and drink coffee with my mom. Or sit with my dad on the couch. Or stay up late with Hopie laughing and talking with her sitting on my bed while I'm pretending to sleep. Or catch up with Gracie on all that is going on in all the world. I will miss seeing Coleman by 17 days. But I'm sure a long phone conversation will be in order. I can't wait to spend the week between being home and going to camp soaking up life with my loved ones. I can't wait to have a telephone that always has signal and doesn't cost me an arm and leg to talk to people! I can't wait to see all my incredibly wonderful friends when I go up to College Station or at camp! I can't wait to sit in church on Sunday May 29th and feel "home." I'm sure that week will be full of happy, happy tears and lots of hugs! I can NOT wait.
7. I'm currently still waiting and praying about nursing school. I was confident I was going to hear a week ago. And every day between now and then. I was supossed to hear between mid March and mid April. If I'm not mistaken "mid April" is in 3 days. I talked to a friend that is in the school right now and she said she didn't find out until early May. And at that point she had been waitlisted. I don't know if I have the sanity to wait that long. But I've had the "God's timing is perfect" conversation about 43 times in the last 3 days. I have my plan. (And it is awesome, if I do say so myself!) But God has His. And so far He has a perfect track record of topping my plans. He also has a perfect track record of being incredibly faithful, incredibly good. Maybe I should accept that His timing is perfect. His plan is cosmic. He's got this world under control. He doesn't need my help.
8. On a lighter note. I sometimes joke around that I'm becoming a crazy island jungle lady. (Being the only one that you know on a tropical island will do that to you.) Today I almost went crazy island lady on a group of about 55 Haitians. Here's the story. Boss Varis, Guerline, Boss Tchaly, and I all went to town to buy gas and a few random supplies.
The vehicle I drive here is one of those old "Mark III" vans, with the lazy boy bucket seats, and curtains on the windows, and the high roof. You know the van I'm talking about? We all had a friend with that car. You wanted to ride with them on road trips because they laid the back seat into a bed AND they had a TV in thier car. Ok. So I drive one of those in Haiti. I want to go on record as saying I have never driven a car that is harder to manuver, or with more blind spots. Maybe I would make a horrible soccer mom. I don't know. Its not the size of the car that bothers me. I learned how to drive in a Ford F-250. I can handle big cars. This van is just..... the worst.
(Phew. ok. van rant over. ready to move on? me too.)
So we go to the gas station. I draw a lot of attention when I go into town. I am a white, female driver. Not your typical everyday sight. Also, apparently the stereotype that women can't drive exists here too. (especially white women.) Long story short. I ended up with about 10 men standing around my car shouting things like, "Come forward! Go back! Turn left! Turn right! Gack! Forward! Stop! Go!" But they were yelling these things ALL at the same time and in kreyol. I got frustrated and declared loudly that I didn't understand what they wanted me to do. So 15 more men joined in to help. Perfect. Just what I need. 25 people yelling different orders at me in another language! We eventually got it all sorted out I got the stupid huge, dumb blind-spot van in the right place and we purchased that gas! (Whoop! Let's get OUT of here!) I also explained, in no uncertain terms, to Boss Varis that I never wanted that to happen again. Nothing makes me feel like a dumb white girl more than 25 people yelling conflicting commands in another language. And the other 30 people discussing how the white girl can't understand or drive (gas stations here are much more crowded than ones in america.) Needless to say. This was not the highlight of my day. But I did survive and make it out in one peice and only yelled minimal mean things in kreyol!
9. For those of you that only comment on blog posts involving frogs.... here you go. I had a frog in my house last night. I know. This is really not a big deal. I am not scared of frogs. But what I have come to realize is that I am scared of the unpredictability of frogs. If you leave them alone, they may just sit there and eath the mosquitoes, or they may jump in your bed and make it all slimy. Either way. There was a frog in my house. Not a dry warty one that moves slow. A sleek, green-brown, slimy one...with an impressive jump range. Anyway. I went through many scenarios.
1. Shoo him out? (and risk him jumping around and hiding.)
2. Smash him? (this is typically what the Haitians do. but I try to avoid amphibian guts when possible.)
3. Electrocute him with my suprisingly powerful mosquito raquet? (this got a few votes from people who were supporting me through this hazard on skype, but I decided against it.)
4. Allow him to co-habitate and hope that he eats mosquitoes and does not make my bed slimy.
I eventually opted for option 4. Jumping frogs are just too risky. Eventually he made the mistake of coming into the open on the floor. I captured him in a random cup that I had, but then I got distracted and forgot about him until this morning. By that time he had given up on life. Poor froggie, I didn't mean to kill you.
10. I really think I should be exempt from writing a tenth fact. numbers 8 and 9 were long drawn out stories with way more details than necessary. Sorry. Also, I think I might develop carpal tunnel syndrome from typing too much. I think I may take bets on who thinks I'll start showing symptoms... this could be a fun game. Let me know what you think.
Happy Tuesday everyone!
4.05.2011
10 on Tuesday
Today is the 10 on Tuesday: Thankfulness edition. (Its very long and wordy. But I am thankful for so much!)
Today God has opened my eyes to the beauty around me in Himself, in His people, and in His nature.
1. I'm sure you all have noticed, or I have told you how I've been missing home the past week or so. Its been hard. There have been times I wondered what possessed me to think I could do this for almost 5 months? I've cried. I've been upset. I've wanted to go home. As that was happening I began to lose my love for where I am and for the people I'm with. I started to only think about home. And at times, be upset with my decision to be here. Today. That is not the story. Beginning Saturday I started to feel more "here" than I had for about a week. Today, I feel totally here. Its been so wonderful. I had started to get nervous that I was going to spend the next 50 days counting down to coming home and not enjoying my time here. I am still looking forward to coming home, and I'm still missing people greatly, but I know the time will come to leave and I will be sad. I didn't want to leave with a bad taste in my mouth I wanted to spend the last two months I have here "ALL HERE" and that's how I feel today. Being all here has opened my eyes to many other of God's blessings that I had been missing. So, today I'm thankful for being 'here'.
2. Today I'm thankful for the mountains! I was walking to school today and looked up, I usually look down at the road because there are boulders, trash, animal excrement, and sometimes snakes that I like to avoid stepping on when I can. Today I looked up and was struck by the beauty. I truely live in the most beautiful place on earth! There is a huge gorgeous mountain in my back yard, an entire mountain range in my front yard, and river and hillside in my side yard. If I climb any of these hills I can see the whole valley. Lush, covered in trees bearing fruit like mangos, banannas, coconuts, among others. It is truely a gorgeous place. I had been missing it, so today I'm thankful for my eyes being opened to beauty.
3. I think a lot of my homesickness and feeling lonely was due to the fact that I have been doing a lot of work on my computer and haven't had the chance to go out in the village and visit with my friends. Even that short walk through the village is so special. I pass by the houses of those in the village and the children run out to say hello. The women look up from their washing clothes, or braiding hair, or whatever the chore of the afternoon is, and greet me. In recent months its not such a big deal for me to walk down the road. I've become somewhat normal. And I love that! I love that they know me. They know my schedule, and I'm just a part of their village. I walk by and have random coversations with the machans- street vendors. They make their food. The best I can describe it is little pillows full of a Haitian type of cole-slaw that are then deep fried to a golden brown. I've never tried one, but they look delicious. Some of them sell cold bottles of juice, or little crackers, or gum, or small bottles of rum, or shots of klere- homemade sugar cane liquor. Today I am thankful I got to walk through the village, have short conversations with my machan friends, and say hello to those walking down the road. Today I am thankful that they have accepted me into their village.
4. Today I'm thankful for my school kids. I haven't taught school with any regularity since my dad and Gracie were here visiting in early February and I think I missed it more than I realized. Teaching school here is always interesting. Every day is an adventure. Its easy to get discouraged, and in fact, that's what had happened, I felt like, I wasn't a good teacher, and even if I was I don't speak the language, and what is me teaching them English vocabulary going to do to help them? While its incredibly easy to get discouraged about teaching school here, I have realized its more about the relationships than anything else. Its not about them learning English, its about me spending time with them and pouring into their lives. The more time I spend here and the more I learn the more I realize that my ministry is about relationships. I'm not doing the health education in the same way I imagined, but I'm forming relationships. Maybe in the future I will be able to do so. But today, I'm thankful for my school kids. I'm thankful for them loving me. I'm thankful for thier smiles. I love my older class. They are so smart. I feel like they get it, and we can talk and goof off at the same time. Such a joy. The school kids are such a blessing. Thankful for them today.
5. I'm thankful for my weekend. This weekend I spent a lot of time in my hammock and reading books that have been in my little library, but I haven't gotten time to delve into. I relaxed, I napped, I spent time with Jesus. It was wonderful. On Sunday I went up to the mountain and had church with just me and God. I listened to podcasts of teaching from my church back home. It was so refreshing to sit in the sunshine and hear teaching from men who love Jesus and love to make much of him. (I think I even got a small tan in the process!) The sunshine and my "American" church refreshed my soul. So today I am thankful for my weekend, for the sunshine, and for the Savior who refreshes my heart.
6. I woke up this morning refreshed and feeling great! That is something to be thankful for in itself. I have never been one to dream much, or to remember my dreams when I do. I definitely don't have many scary dreams or nightmares. Until I came here. It seems like I dream every night. I can remember most of the dreams when I wake up, and many of them are very scary. In my time here I've woken myself up many times with little shrieks, from being afraid. Twice I've woken myself up laughing (I much prefer that). But today, I'm thankful for two consecutive nights of sweet sleep, and minimal dreaming. And when I did dream they were 'sweet dreams'. Today I'm thankful for rest.
7. Today I'm thankful for good mommys. On my way home from school I stopped by one of my favorite houses. I have to walk right by anyway and they are always in the yard, so I stopped by to say hello. This lady blessed me today. She always has a million kids all over her and in her yard. I don't know how many of them are her's, but I think she has at least 3 between the ages of 8 and 3. I have alway felt like she is a good mom, she just gives off that vibe. (Did I mention that she's beautiful? She is.) She's a little older, but wears her years well and shows the joy of those years in her face. Today I stopped by, and as she was helping one child get dressed she was helping her other little one learn how to read. I get the feeling that most of the adults in this village don't know how to read, and also that most moms don't help their children with homework. It blessed me to see this mother helping her little one to learn. So today, I'm thankful for mom's who care about their babies, and spend time making sure that they are getting the most from their education. (This includes my own dear, sweet, beautiful mom!)
8. I've been blessed recently in the food department. Until last week a woman named Janet came and made food for me. Her food was wonderful. After 3 months I'm still not sick of rice and beans. Its a miracle. But I'm still not sick of it. Last week I got a new cook. This lady is Tchaly's sister. She makes food for the orphans in the hospital in Limbe. She also used to make food for the American doctors who worked and lived here. She is straight from heaven. Her food is always an experience. Every bite is heavenly. Its also so spicy that it makes me reach for the water to put out the fire in my mouth, but the González in me really missed that. Anyway, after totally being blown away by her food I asked if she would teach me. So she's been teaching me how to make stellar Haitian food. I can't wait to try it when I get home!! So today I'm thankful for Madam Marcell and her willingness to help me be a better Haitian cook!
9. I'm thankful for silly moments when silly things happen and it makes me laugh. I was sitting here writing this post and heard Manfred Mann's song "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" in French. You know the song I'm talking about?
"There she was just a-walkin' down the street
Singin' Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do
Snappin' her fingers and shufflin' her feet
Singin' Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do
She looked good (looked good), she looked fine (looked fine)
She looked good, she looked fine and I nearly lost my mind"
I know you know the one. Anyway. Very funny and strange to hear it in French! So I'm thankful for weird moments that make me laugh.
10. Lastly, but not leastly.... I'm incredibly thankful for my friends. Both here and in the States. The ones in the states have listened to me complain and moan about how I miss home, how I miss them, etc. And they haven't complained (at least to my face.) In the past couple of days I have been so blessed. I've had wonderful, encouraging conversations with so many friends. I so much appreciate that I have friends that I can word vomit on. I'm thankful for friends that still ask me my opinion on everything, from heart issues, to haircuts. It is such a joy and a pleasure to know that I am not on this journey alone. I litterally could NOT ask for a better support group. So today I'm thankful for you! If you are reading this, I can't wait to give you a huge hug when I get home, and if we are lucky have a long chat over some coffee! Thank you for your prayers! Thank you for sharing your life with me. Even those of you who are strangers, I'm thankful for you! It blesses me to know that even people who I don't actually know are before God's throne praying for me. Thanking God for His provision of support and friendship.
I feel like I could write all day about things I'm thankful for. God has been so faithful. He always is. I can't wait to see what will happen in the next two months that I'm here. And I can't wait for you to journey with me!
Today God has opened my eyes to the beauty around me in Himself, in His people, and in His nature.
1. I'm sure you all have noticed, or I have told you how I've been missing home the past week or so. Its been hard. There have been times I wondered what possessed me to think I could do this for almost 5 months? I've cried. I've been upset. I've wanted to go home. As that was happening I began to lose my love for where I am and for the people I'm with. I started to only think about home. And at times, be upset with my decision to be here. Today. That is not the story. Beginning Saturday I started to feel more "here" than I had for about a week. Today, I feel totally here. Its been so wonderful. I had started to get nervous that I was going to spend the next 50 days counting down to coming home and not enjoying my time here. I am still looking forward to coming home, and I'm still missing people greatly, but I know the time will come to leave and I will be sad. I didn't want to leave with a bad taste in my mouth I wanted to spend the last two months I have here "ALL HERE" and that's how I feel today. Being all here has opened my eyes to many other of God's blessings that I had been missing. So, today I'm thankful for being 'here'.
2. Today I'm thankful for the mountains! I was walking to school today and looked up, I usually look down at the road because there are boulders, trash, animal excrement, and sometimes snakes that I like to avoid stepping on when I can. Today I looked up and was struck by the beauty. I truely live in the most beautiful place on earth! There is a huge gorgeous mountain in my back yard, an entire mountain range in my front yard, and river and hillside in my side yard. If I climb any of these hills I can see the whole valley. Lush, covered in trees bearing fruit like mangos, banannas, coconuts, among others. It is truely a gorgeous place. I had been missing it, so today I'm thankful for my eyes being opened to beauty.
3. I think a lot of my homesickness and feeling lonely was due to the fact that I have been doing a lot of work on my computer and haven't had the chance to go out in the village and visit with my friends. Even that short walk through the village is so special. I pass by the houses of those in the village and the children run out to say hello. The women look up from their washing clothes, or braiding hair, or whatever the chore of the afternoon is, and greet me. In recent months its not such a big deal for me to walk down the road. I've become somewhat normal. And I love that! I love that they know me. They know my schedule, and I'm just a part of their village. I walk by and have random coversations with the machans- street vendors. They make their food. The best I can describe it is little pillows full of a Haitian type of cole-slaw that are then deep fried to a golden brown. I've never tried one, but they look delicious. Some of them sell cold bottles of juice, or little crackers, or gum, or small bottles of rum, or shots of klere- homemade sugar cane liquor. Today I am thankful I got to walk through the village, have short conversations with my machan friends, and say hello to those walking down the road. Today I am thankful that they have accepted me into their village.
4. Today I'm thankful for my school kids. I haven't taught school with any regularity since my dad and Gracie were here visiting in early February and I think I missed it more than I realized. Teaching school here is always interesting. Every day is an adventure. Its easy to get discouraged, and in fact, that's what had happened, I felt like, I wasn't a good teacher, and even if I was I don't speak the language, and what is me teaching them English vocabulary going to do to help them? While its incredibly easy to get discouraged about teaching school here, I have realized its more about the relationships than anything else. Its not about them learning English, its about me spending time with them and pouring into their lives. The more time I spend here and the more I learn the more I realize that my ministry is about relationships. I'm not doing the health education in the same way I imagined, but I'm forming relationships. Maybe in the future I will be able to do so. But today, I'm thankful for my school kids. I'm thankful for them loving me. I'm thankful for thier smiles. I love my older class. They are so smart. I feel like they get it, and we can talk and goof off at the same time. Such a joy. The school kids are such a blessing. Thankful for them today.
5. I'm thankful for my weekend. This weekend I spent a lot of time in my hammock and reading books that have been in my little library, but I haven't gotten time to delve into. I relaxed, I napped, I spent time with Jesus. It was wonderful. On Sunday I went up to the mountain and had church with just me and God. I listened to podcasts of teaching from my church back home. It was so refreshing to sit in the sunshine and hear teaching from men who love Jesus and love to make much of him. (I think I even got a small tan in the process!) The sunshine and my "American" church refreshed my soul. So today I am thankful for my weekend, for the sunshine, and for the Savior who refreshes my heart.
6. I woke up this morning refreshed and feeling great! That is something to be thankful for in itself. I have never been one to dream much, or to remember my dreams when I do. I definitely don't have many scary dreams or nightmares. Until I came here. It seems like I dream every night. I can remember most of the dreams when I wake up, and many of them are very scary. In my time here I've woken myself up many times with little shrieks, from being afraid. Twice I've woken myself up laughing (I much prefer that). But today, I'm thankful for two consecutive nights of sweet sleep, and minimal dreaming. And when I did dream they were 'sweet dreams'. Today I'm thankful for rest.
7. Today I'm thankful for good mommys. On my way home from school I stopped by one of my favorite houses. I have to walk right by anyway and they are always in the yard, so I stopped by to say hello. This lady blessed me today. She always has a million kids all over her and in her yard. I don't know how many of them are her's, but I think she has at least 3 between the ages of 8 and 3. I have alway felt like she is a good mom, she just gives off that vibe. (Did I mention that she's beautiful? She is.) She's a little older, but wears her years well and shows the joy of those years in her face. Today I stopped by, and as she was helping one child get dressed she was helping her other little one learn how to read. I get the feeling that most of the adults in this village don't know how to read, and also that most moms don't help their children with homework. It blessed me to see this mother helping her little one to learn. So today, I'm thankful for mom's who care about their babies, and spend time making sure that they are getting the most from their education. (This includes my own dear, sweet, beautiful mom!)
8. I've been blessed recently in the food department. Until last week a woman named Janet came and made food for me. Her food was wonderful. After 3 months I'm still not sick of rice and beans. Its a miracle. But I'm still not sick of it. Last week I got a new cook. This lady is Tchaly's sister. She makes food for the orphans in the hospital in Limbe. She also used to make food for the American doctors who worked and lived here. She is straight from heaven. Her food is always an experience. Every bite is heavenly. Its also so spicy that it makes me reach for the water to put out the fire in my mouth, but the González in me really missed that. Anyway, after totally being blown away by her food I asked if she would teach me. So she's been teaching me how to make stellar Haitian food. I can't wait to try it when I get home!! So today I'm thankful for Madam Marcell and her willingness to help me be a better Haitian cook!
9. I'm thankful for silly moments when silly things happen and it makes me laugh. I was sitting here writing this post and heard Manfred Mann's song "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" in French. You know the song I'm talking about?
"There she was just a-walkin' down the street
Singin' Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do
Snappin' her fingers and shufflin' her feet
Singin' Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do
She looked good (looked good), she looked fine (looked fine)
She looked good, she looked fine and I nearly lost my mind"
I know you know the one. Anyway. Very funny and strange to hear it in French! So I'm thankful for weird moments that make me laugh.
10. Lastly, but not leastly.... I'm incredibly thankful for my friends. Both here and in the States. The ones in the states have listened to me complain and moan about how I miss home, how I miss them, etc. And they haven't complained (at least to my face.) In the past couple of days I have been so blessed. I've had wonderful, encouraging conversations with so many friends. I so much appreciate that I have friends that I can word vomit on. I'm thankful for friends that still ask me my opinion on everything, from heart issues, to haircuts. It is such a joy and a pleasure to know that I am not on this journey alone. I litterally could NOT ask for a better support group. So today I'm thankful for you! If you are reading this, I can't wait to give you a huge hug when I get home, and if we are lucky have a long chat over some coffee! Thank you for your prayers! Thank you for sharing your life with me. Even those of you who are strangers, I'm thankful for you! It blesses me to know that even people who I don't actually know are before God's throne praying for me. Thanking God for His provision of support and friendship.
I feel like I could write all day about things I'm thankful for. God has been so faithful. He always is. I can't wait to see what will happen in the next two months that I'm here. And I can't wait for you to journey with me!
3.29.2011
10 on Tuesday
Well friends its been a while since I've gotten a 10 on Tuesday in (especially on a Tuesday!) I had a small panicked moment last night, but then I realized it was only Monday! Unfortunately my picture capabilities are still pretty spotty, so we're back to random facts and word pictures.
Today is going to be 10 on Tuesday: Current Events addition. Meaning these are 10 things that I am currently doing or thinking about.
1. I am currently in the middle of some spring cleaning and de-cluttering. After a fire ant attack a few nights ago I decided it ws high time to deep clean my house. I've been keeping it up ok, but today it was time for a good dusting, mopping, reorganizing. I'm not finished, but I'm already feeling less cluttered. If I had packing to do over again I probably would have left over half the things I brought at home. But hindsight is always 20/20 I hear.
2. The current temperature is very warm. Last week when Hudson and Daniel were here I got made fun of quite a bit for always wearing hoodies at night. One night we slept out in the hammocks under the stars and I wore 2 pairs of socks, jeans, 1 short sleeved t-shirt, 1 long-sleeved t-shirt, 2 hoodies (with the hood up), and slept with my double fleece blanket and a thick sleeping bag and was comfortable. Last night, I slept with as little clothes as possible, a sheet for the mosquitos and the fan on high... I'm not sure what happened to the weather, but it got blazing hot overnight.
3. Currently getting very anxious and excited!! This morning when I woke up and Guerline told me she had eaten a mango!!!!! They aren't officially ready, but she found one good one. The mangos are about to be ripe and I couldn't be happier. I want to just sit and look at the tree outside my house until they ripen and then eat them all! (If you have a good mango recipe for jelly, jam, or anything else that will keep for a while. send it to me!! This also applies to guava and pinapple recipies!)
4. Currently looking forward to May. This morning I talked with my good friend, Caitlin and she purchased tickets to come visit in May!! She will be here the last week that I'm here and then fly home with me. I have already warned her that I might be a crying mess the whole way home (and the entire last week, but she still wanted to come. She's such a sweet friend!) I know Caitlin through my health classes at Texas A&M and she is such a beautiful blessing in my life. She will be starting Physician's Assistant school at University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston in June. (Thankfully she was an Aggie first, and is not too excited about wearing burnt orange, so that's good!)
5. Speaking of school I am currently on pins and needles waiting to hear from the college of nursing at the Texas A&M Health Science Center. I had been thinking I was going to be notified online, but it turns out that they only accept people through snail mail. I don't check the mail regularly when I am home, unless I am waiting for this type of thing. At this point I should be hearing any day... errr at least by the end of April. Every time my mom gets on skype I get a little bit nervous, but so far, no word. I'll keep you updated though!
6. I currently have 55 days left in Haiti. My how the time has flown! I bought my plane tickets home about a week ago. I'm not ready to leave yet, but those conversations have started coming up. People here are saying, "When you leave in May, when are you coming back?" That's a hard question to answer. I don't know. The whole village knows the theoretical plan though... One day I'll come back. I'll live on the mountain. My husband will build a house for our family. I'll have white and black kids. I'll make peanut butter and my kids will make cassava while my husband builds our house. I'll have a clinic, and my husband will do whatever he is good at (which will probably be everything), and then in the evenings we will all sit in our hammocks on the porch and look out over the valley. The peanut butter and cassava thing has become a big joke, so when they ask when I'm coming back, sometimes its easier to joke around about my future home, than to seriously tell them that I don't know. Maybe 2 years? Maybe more? I talked with Guerline last night about a girl that came from Canada a few years ago. Guerline feels like she has forgotten about her. I tried to reassure her that I will never forget about her or anyone here in this village. I'll forever carry Ti Guniea in my heart. At the same time as I am dreading leaving Haiti I am getting excited to go back to the States. I am missing people there so much. I am SO greatful for my semi-reliable skype connection that keeps me sane, but I can't wait to be face to face with people instead of looking at their skype logo all the time! Also, I'm looking forward to non-important things like driving my own car on a "real road", wearing "real" clothes and looking human again, being able to understand exactly what everyone is saying, not just the main idea. But I will miss my friends here, I will miss holding thier babies, and laughing at jokes I don't get. I've said this before, but its so very hard to live in two countries at once, and even harder to explain it to others!
7. I'm currently thinking about and wondering how my medical patients are going to be when I leave. And how much I wish I knew more to help them. In my head, I want to get all the medical cases wrapped up and healed before I leave, so their books will be closed... but I know in the possible two years that I will be gone more things will happen, more people will get hurt. I Pwish I could care for them all. I wish I knew how to care for them all. But I don't. Its become so very evident to me how important it is going to be for me to go back to school and actually learn how to better help these people. I'm so thankful for the progress I have made with them though. Some are taking longer than others to heal how I want them to, but its hard to put a time limit on these things.
8. I currently should be writing about 6 emails. I wrote two of them last night and then my internet died and lost my message. TIH I guess. As soon as I finish this blog I'm going to get back to work....
9. Currently thanking my Savior for being so gracious and faithful to me. I have been blessed beyond measure both with things material and immaterial. I have super great friends who are daily encouragements to me. God is so great. So loving. So faithful. I was feeling low this weekend. It was the first time in my life I've been homesick. I didn't know what to do with myself. God provided friends (and a mom) who don't roll thier eyes when I complain or get annoyed when I cry. I am so thankful for the text and skype hugs I got this weekend. Monday dawned and the sun was out! I spent time yesterday just sitting with my friends, and feeling normal again. Thank you Jesus for all your blessings!
10. Currently listening to the windmill as it is spinning along. For those of you that don't know the windmill saga, I will spare you all the gory details, but today we had a victory! The light on the battery is GREEN! Not only is it working, but it has already worked! Praise God for His beautiful nature. He has given us gorgeous mountains in our backyard, with wind we can harness and use for power. He has given us mangos and guava for food, and His beautiful creation just because he loves us! Thank the Lord for the wind and the windmill that is saving us tons of gas money!
Today is going to be 10 on Tuesday: Current Events addition. Meaning these are 10 things that I am currently doing or thinking about.
1. I am currently in the middle of some spring cleaning and de-cluttering. After a fire ant attack a few nights ago I decided it ws high time to deep clean my house. I've been keeping it up ok, but today it was time for a good dusting, mopping, reorganizing. I'm not finished, but I'm already feeling less cluttered. If I had packing to do over again I probably would have left over half the things I brought at home. But hindsight is always 20/20 I hear.
2. The current temperature is very warm. Last week when Hudson and Daniel were here I got made fun of quite a bit for always wearing hoodies at night. One night we slept out in the hammocks under the stars and I wore 2 pairs of socks, jeans, 1 short sleeved t-shirt, 1 long-sleeved t-shirt, 2 hoodies (with the hood up), and slept with my double fleece blanket and a thick sleeping bag and was comfortable. Last night, I slept with as little clothes as possible, a sheet for the mosquitos and the fan on high... I'm not sure what happened to the weather, but it got blazing hot overnight.
3. Currently getting very anxious and excited!! This morning when I woke up and Guerline told me she had eaten a mango!!!!! They aren't officially ready, but she found one good one. The mangos are about to be ripe and I couldn't be happier. I want to just sit and look at the tree outside my house until they ripen and then eat them all! (If you have a good mango recipe for jelly, jam, or anything else that will keep for a while. send it to me!! This also applies to guava and pinapple recipies!)
4. Currently looking forward to May. This morning I talked with my good friend, Caitlin and she purchased tickets to come visit in May!! She will be here the last week that I'm here and then fly home with me. I have already warned her that I might be a crying mess the whole way home (and the entire last week, but she still wanted to come. She's such a sweet friend!) I know Caitlin through my health classes at Texas A&M and she is such a beautiful blessing in my life. She will be starting Physician's Assistant school at University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston in June. (Thankfully she was an Aggie first, and is not too excited about wearing burnt orange, so that's good!)
5. Speaking of school I am currently on pins and needles waiting to hear from the college of nursing at the Texas A&M Health Science Center. I had been thinking I was going to be notified online, but it turns out that they only accept people through snail mail. I don't check the mail regularly when I am home, unless I am waiting for this type of thing. At this point I should be hearing any day... errr at least by the end of April. Every time my mom gets on skype I get a little bit nervous, but so far, no word. I'll keep you updated though!
6. I currently have 55 days left in Haiti. My how the time has flown! I bought my plane tickets home about a week ago. I'm not ready to leave yet, but those conversations have started coming up. People here are saying, "When you leave in May, when are you coming back?" That's a hard question to answer. I don't know. The whole village knows the theoretical plan though... One day I'll come back. I'll live on the mountain. My husband will build a house for our family. I'll have white and black kids. I'll make peanut butter and my kids will make cassava while my husband builds our house. I'll have a clinic, and my husband will do whatever he is good at (which will probably be everything), and then in the evenings we will all sit in our hammocks on the porch and look out over the valley. The peanut butter and cassava thing has become a big joke, so when they ask when I'm coming back, sometimes its easier to joke around about my future home, than to seriously tell them that I don't know. Maybe 2 years? Maybe more? I talked with Guerline last night about a girl that came from Canada a few years ago. Guerline feels like she has forgotten about her. I tried to reassure her that I will never forget about her or anyone here in this village. I'll forever carry Ti Guniea in my heart. At the same time as I am dreading leaving Haiti I am getting excited to go back to the States. I am missing people there so much. I am SO greatful for my semi-reliable skype connection that keeps me sane, but I can't wait to be face to face with people instead of looking at their skype logo all the time! Also, I'm looking forward to non-important things like driving my own car on a "real road", wearing "real" clothes and looking human again, being able to understand exactly what everyone is saying, not just the main idea. But I will miss my friends here, I will miss holding thier babies, and laughing at jokes I don't get. I've said this before, but its so very hard to live in two countries at once, and even harder to explain it to others!
7. I'm currently thinking about and wondering how my medical patients are going to be when I leave. And how much I wish I knew more to help them. In my head, I want to get all the medical cases wrapped up and healed before I leave, so their books will be closed... but I know in the possible two years that I will be gone more things will happen, more people will get hurt. I Pwish I could care for them all. I wish I knew how to care for them all. But I don't. Its become so very evident to me how important it is going to be for me to go back to school and actually learn how to better help these people. I'm so thankful for the progress I have made with them though. Some are taking longer than others to heal how I want them to, but its hard to put a time limit on these things.
8. I currently should be writing about 6 emails. I wrote two of them last night and then my internet died and lost my message. TIH I guess. As soon as I finish this blog I'm going to get back to work....
9. Currently thanking my Savior for being so gracious and faithful to me. I have been blessed beyond measure both with things material and immaterial. I have super great friends who are daily encouragements to me. God is so great. So loving. So faithful. I was feeling low this weekend. It was the first time in my life I've been homesick. I didn't know what to do with myself. God provided friends (and a mom) who don't roll thier eyes when I complain or get annoyed when I cry. I am so thankful for the text and skype hugs I got this weekend. Monday dawned and the sun was out! I spent time yesterday just sitting with my friends, and feeling normal again. Thank you Jesus for all your blessings!
10. Currently listening to the windmill as it is spinning along. For those of you that don't know the windmill saga, I will spare you all the gory details, but today we had a victory! The light on the battery is GREEN! Not only is it working, but it has already worked! Praise God for His beautiful nature. He has given us gorgeous mountains in our backyard, with wind we can harness and use for power. He has given us mangos and guava for food, and His beautiful creation just because he loves us! Thank the Lord for the wind and the windmill that is saving us tons of gas money!
3.18.2011
40 on Friday (part 1)
Ok. I feel like a total blogging failure. We are more than halfway through March and I have blogged only twice. In my defense, I have had more internet problems than I care to go into or relive right now. I’m currently writing this post in Microsoft Word hoping that by the time I finish my internet will have loaded the blogger page. I have written numerous blogs in my head and started a few on the computer, so maybe someday I’ll catch up. Today I decided since I have missed two 10 on Tuesdays and numerous other blogs I have decided to introduce this a blue moon special, “40 on Friday.” So here goes… This is all the fun you have missed! This will be a 2 part blog. (it actually was going to be the 10 on Tuesday, but the internet didn’t work… then it was going to be the 30 on Thursday, but again… internet troubles. So here goes part 1 of 2 in the 40 on Friday.
1. On Friday, March 4th we had almost 100 people here at camp for the retreat. They stayed until Wednesday, March 9th and, I believe had a lot of fun. Remember, my job was to find and secure beds for all of them? Yeah, I was planning on having 46 people and then found out there were 81 coming… which quickly turned into almost 100. Needless to say, it was a stressful few hours/days for me. The camp went well overall. It was full of challenges though. The staff of the camp was not open to using our program or hearing our suggestions. I think it was a little frustrating for all of us. Finally, on Monday, they asked for help and after that camp went great. We got to do our activities and play some camp games, as well as have a really special time of campfire. Overall, God was glorified, which is always a victory.
2. We had a few days of rest and then Daniel Frantz and Hudson Stone arrived from Texas on Saturday, March 12 to spend spring break here at Jacob’s Well and get some work projects done. It has been so refreshing for them to be here. After the crazy week with camp and the stress of having 100ish people on our campsite, I needed a change of pace.
3. This past weekend marked the midway point of my trip. That brings up a lot of emotions and thoughts, both sad and happy. Its almost impossible to believe that I have been here for two and a half months already, in some ways it feels like it has flown by. In other ways it seems like its been a long, long time. I have learned so much. It has been so different than I was expecting, but in a lot of ways exactly what I expected. I have accomplished some of my goals for being here and that is so encouraging, but in some ways I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything at all.
4. This past weekend also marked the year and 2 month anniversary of the earthquake here in Haiti. I have done a lot of thinking and praying about it. God has done an incredible amount of healing in my heart and mind over the past year. I am, at times completely overwhelmed by his total faithfulness to me. It has not been an easy year, but I have been far from alone.
5. Its mid March. This means we are entering the phase where I will be hearing about an acceptance decision from the Nursing department at Texas A&M Health Science Center. As much as I am loving not having school this semester and not having to worry about tests and homework, I am starting to get excited about going to school again. I am learning so much here, but a lot of it is learning what great need there is. I’ve mentioned Christina (the baby with the burns) and Lèlène (with the motorcycle accident), and this week I have added a few more patients to my list. I am so glad that I have been able to be here to help them, but every day I see the need to go back to Nursing school. I’m praying (and you can too!!) that I will get accepted to the Nursing school in College Station at the Health Science Center. Due to various circumstances that occurred last minute, I ended up only applying to this one school. I very strongly feel that this is where the Lord wants me, but then again… God is sometimes so full of unexpected surprises.
6. Speaking of new patients… My newest patient is the tiniest little man in the village. He’s so adorable. But don’t be fooled. He is THE toughest guy in the village. Maybe it comes with being small. Gersan told me he has a reputation for running Americans out of the village. He has always been anti-American presence here and doesn’t appreciate us. On Monday he was doing something and fell on his machete. Thankfully he only sliced his hand, but it is a pretty serious cut. Guess who he came to for help? Me. I was able to help bandage and clean his wound and he has come back every day since. Remember how I said he was the toughest guy in the village? If you saw this guy’s hand you would know. He has calluses equal to those on my feet. He watched me clean and dig grass and dirt out of the flesh in his hand without so much as a flinch. It would be great if he could get stitches in this hand, but I don’t have access to them and I know he won’t go to the hospital. Today Daniel and I put some butterfly closures on the most serious parts. I’m very optimistic about the way its going to heal, its already looking good and staying infection free. Did I mention he is the most adorable man ever? The man is probably 4 feet and 7 inches tall and super tough, but so cute. The first day he came with some family that brought him. I asked him his age and he honestly had no idea. Today he came all alone, knowing what Gersan told me about him and how he feels about white people I was interested to see how it was going to go. I walked up and asked him how he was doing. He launched into telling me about his family and his wife and kids and his life. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a match box and took out a tiny piece of paper with, “74” written on it. He handed me the paper telling me he found out how old he was. I can’t wait to see how his hand heals, and maybe continue to change his view of Americans.
7. Since Daniel and Hudson have been here we have been able to get a lot done here around camp. In the states, Hudson is a Petroleum Engineering student at Texas A&M (whoop!) and indoor soccer lover. Daniel is a Biology/Psych student at DBU and a barista at a local coffee shop in Dallas. When they are here in Haiti they become our “professional consultants” on all things plumbing, construction, maintenance, etc. So far they have installed a new hot water heater, built and roofed a house or two, laid pipe for a main water line, fixed the plumbing issues in the kitchen and consulted on numerous future projects here around camp. Its only been a few days and we have gotten so much done.
8. We received word last week that we had an anonymous donor that donated enough money for us to finish our cistern. We are going to be starting work on our cistern very soon. The hardest part of hosting groups here is our lack of water. Without a cistern we are very hard pressed to provide water for our teams. Praise God for His provision.
9. I have almost finished the child sponsorship program for the school. Please be praying for me as I try to finish preparing and try to start this program. It would be such a wonderful opportunity to be able to provide the village with a better opportunity to have some education. This program will give the parents an opportunity to send their children to school, but will give them a sense of ownership and give them opportunities to get involved in their children’s life and education.
10. As I mentioned before my two friends Daniel and Hudson are here doing work and bringing some sanity and English conversation into my life. Its been such a blast hanging out with these two guys and even though we are working we are having loads of fun. Because they are here I’m going to take advantage of them for a second and have them help me write this post.
Thanks for having patience with me (or really my internet). I’m going to be doing the best I can and praying for God to work a miracle and make it move faster than frozen molasses.
Meet Daniel Frantz:
I first experienced Haiti, and Jacob’s Well January of 2010. As a part of the FC team that left the island about 40 hrs before the quake. Back then Jacobs well had one building, a bathroom/storage depot, but as Matt Raines would say, if you have good staff, a field and a ball you can have camp. That is what Jacobs Well used to be, today it is unrecognizable from just a little over a year ago. God has blessed this land, and the ministry of Jacob’s Well. And I thank Him for letting me see His hands at work here.
1. The spring break trip – Hudson and I were here with the last trip, Haiti 6, and both decided we would love to come back, and the Lord blesses us by granting that wish. As Noelle has said getting things done in this country can be difficult to say the least, and traveling is rarely an exception. We had to leave the states on Friday, meaning an overnight layover and almost 24 hrs total travel time from departure to arrival at JW. We spent a pretty good amount of time wondering if our bags would make it all the way to PAP or weather we would be picked up from the airport. But God is good and after a tiring day of travel we arrived in CAP and were warmly greeted by Noelle, Betty, Gersan, and Bos Varis (and a Toro!) Home sweet home.
2. This is my fourth time to come to JW since Jan 2010, I am always astounded by God’s glory as the camp continues to expand. Yet, as much growth as there has been, the plan for the future dwarfs its current state. I cannot wait to see how the Lord will bless JW and pray I will be allowed to be a part of the growth.
The following are some of the newest additions to Jacob’s Well.
3. The windmill, after some stressful moments regarding the mill, it seems to be an amazing tool and will hopefully save a ton of money on gas for the generator.
4. New plumbing, an ongoing process, we are in the process of running a new main line that will provide a more reliable water source for the time being. Improving the current “cistern” (two cubic meter water tanks), repairing leaking drains on the kitchen sinks, and hopefully repairing a drainage problem at the shower house.
5. New water heater (well old heater new installment) it is quite an expensive propane powered, heat-as-you-go heater, and has been sitting in the depot for at least a year now (the current heater is a standard 40 gallon electric heater). We haven’t purchased the propane yet but hope to have it running within the next few days. Switching to propane will also lighten the load on the generator and reduce the amount of electricity needed to run camp.
6. Cabins, we are helping finish the last of the two rooms cabins and put up two more one room style cabins (same style as Tancred’s new house that was finished today! Noelle is planning on posting pictures when the internet isn’t as big of a disappointment).
7. A few days after we arrived we were introduced to an amazing new trail to the “upstairs” that is much better than the old ankle breaking path.
8. Another beautiful addition is the Jacob’s Well mosaic. It used to be a gravel platform used as a meeting/eating area in the past (and under where the Haiti 6 interns, Jack, Greta and myself hung our hammocks).
9. One thing Hudson and I were able to do is bring some new tools to Jacob’s Well (thanks to “the Man” Richard Stephens for buying/providing them!) Some of the tools we brought include a stellar Dewalt Table saw which I have yet to use, but hope to work on a few projects with Bos Tchaly and get some use out of it. We also brought Tchaly a new tool belt, every carpenter of his skill needs a good tool belt, and some seeds for Guerline’s garden.
10. Finally, another item we brought with us were mouse/rat traps (they deserve their own number). When I was here with the other interns over Christmas break Greta and I saw a massive rat in the depot, and Noelle has seen a few herself recently so I figured we could put an end to these rodent shenanigans. So far the traps have been set for a little over 24 hrs and the body count thus far is 4. Three of the slain were rats and one mouse, but we’re hoping to kill off a lot more before we leave (and Noelle will then have to empty and re-load the traps, she doesn’t seem thrilled to do that)
... stay tuned for part 2.
11.08.2010
I must be dreaming?!
*Disclaimer* The beginning of this post may sound negative or like I'm complaining... stick with me. I'm not.... Please give it a chance before you start to scroll or scan like I know we all do when we read semi-interesting blogs. Thank you.
I will walk the stage to graduate in 38 days and receive that scroll of paper that says that I've done something worthwhile for the last 3.5 years of my life. I will forever be able to describe myself as having a "B.S Health Education" degree.... Which is kind of what it is.
They (whoever the infamous "they" refers to) told me I could go places. At my New Student Conference they said this would be the best degree I could choose. It would open a world of doors for me and I could do anything I wanted to do!Well, sign me up!
Here I am graduating. I can't get a job with this degree. They totally lied. I have to go BACK to school to get a Nursing degree if that's what I want to do.
Don't get me wrong. I'm totally excited about going back to school. I've known all along I was going to go back to school, so I'm not shocked or anything. I am just in a strange place in life right now.
Strangely awesome that is.
As I walked into class today I had a weird feeling in my stomach. I'm almost finished here. I had to shake my head to see if I was dreaming.
I thought about my freshman year. I always looked at the seniors and thought they knew everything. They had their lives together. They were pros at this because they'd been through it already.
I laughed thinking how I was half right and all wrong. Here I am, a Senior. Graduating in a teeny bit over a month... far from knowing anything.
In 38 days I will officially have a bachelor's degree. I've learned so much during my time at Texas A&M. I wouldn't take it back for the world. I have learned about science, and health. I have written countless lab reports and taken what feels like a million tests, but what I have learned the most about is love.
How to love God.
How to love people.
Those lessons are more valuable than anything I ever learned about healthy eating or a benzene ring.
When I walk that stage and receive my diploma, switch my tassel on my cap to the other side, and flip around my Aggie Ring those lessons will not be over.
(Good thing too because I can still use a lot of work in both those areas.)
What's next?
I.
Have.
No.
Clue.
I'm applying for nursing school. But there is always the possibility of not getting in. Either way I have January-June that are totally blank in my planner. 6 Months. 26 weeks. 178 days. Half a year.
I have finally stopped panicking about it.The closer it gets the more relaxed I am. WHAT?!?!?
I went through a few weeks where I was crying and panicked and frustrated and scared about the possibilities and the uncertainties. Finally I reached a point where I came to the absolute end of myself. After months of begging God to work something out or make something happen or find me a way to get back to Haiti or let me know what I'm supposed to do next semester I finally got it.
I realized my mistake.
I trust God with my eternity. With my life and death forever. With my eternal SOUL!!!!
But I didn't trust Him to take care of January. Or February. Or March...
How silly. What a fool I am.
God's got this under control. He just wants me to be willing. And I am. I'm hoping that His plan includes me loving children in Haiti for 6 months.
But if His plan is for me to scrub toilets in the Evan's Library, or pick up trash on the highway, or simply continue to serve coffee to stressed out college students for a semester then I'll trust that. And I'll use the opportunities He provides to continue my education of loving Him and loving people.
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