10 on Tuesday

So its Tuesday, yet again. I've missed so many along the way, but I've decided just to pick myself up and start again. So here goes. Again, the goal of the 10 on Tuesday is to take 10 pictures every hour for 10 hours throughout the day, but over time its changed into a 10 things blog. Today I'm going to do 10 pictures, not necessarily from today, but they are from this week.

1.  I'm back here!! I realized when I got home to Jacob's Well that so far in 2011 this has been my home more than anywhere else this year. It was so great to be home for a week and see all my friends, and speak Kreyol again!

2. The purpose of my trip was to translate for a medical team from Minnesota. I pleasantly surprised myself with how much Kreyol I had remembered!

3. Of course, I loved seeing Jenny again. (She really was happy to see me too, even though you can't tell.)

4. Remember my old-man friend from this post? I got to see him too! He said every day he's been hoping that I would come back, and we were so glad to see each other. (Also, his had had healed up so nicely I could barely even see the scar, and he couldn't even remember which hand it was at first!)

5. The church has done some expansion! It is going to look so great when its done! Its almost twice as big now as it was when I left. And made of some sturdier materials!

6. Haitian food. Is the best. End of story.

7. I almost cried when I saw Lelene  walking up to me this week! Her leg is almost completely healed. It is nothing short of a miracle! Thank you to all who have prayed for her!

8. I got to meet a few new baby friends. This is Wendel. he is a soccer announcer for the radio in Limbe. This is his son, Wendel Messi, named after the soccer player from Argentina. Wendel has the nickname "Le Grande" in the village because he is at least a head taller and much thicker than most Haitians. Windel Messi is more than likely the biggest 5 month old I've ever seen, following in his father's footsteps!

9. You know how some people are ocean people and some people are mountain people? I'm a mountain person, and I've missed having this as my back yard view!!

10. And lastly, I'm back to skype communicating. I actually didn't have any internet connection at all when I was at camp this past week, but now I'm in Port Au Prince, and back to the old skype instant messaging relationship with Dan and my family. We totally got spoiled by living in the same country and having a telephone. God's reminding us not to take anything for granted!

10 on Tuesday

So honestly today I forgot it was Tuesday. I had a friend remind me this morning, and then after chatting for a while I completely moved on and forgot about it being Tuesday. That being said, I didn't write this post in my head all day. So lets see if I can come up with 10 somethings on this Tuesday ok?

I'll start with the easy stuff.

1. Today I taught school. I didn't have school at the end of last week because of something. I know the Kreyol word. And it means that they didn't have school cancelled. I think it was some sort of teachers meeting, conference, get-together type deal. Anyway. So I have missed the last few days of school. Today I had school. Which is always an experience. We were learning simple things... Months of the year. But the exciting part was that the wind felt like it was blowing a million miles an hour (this particular "classroom" is under a canopy tent. not much shielded from the elements.) There were a few times I thought that I was going to have to catch the black board in case it flew backwards. Then the wind would shift leaving me feeling like I needed to run for my life so I wouldn't get smashed by it falling on me. So that made months of the year interesting. When I asked what months and then what day their birthdays were in I discovered a little one with a birthday the day after my mom's. (He was less amused and excited than I was about this news. Oh well.)

2. This afternoon I tried to grab a nap at least 3 times and was unsucessful. That was a bummer. I could definitely have used one! But here we are. Its 7pm and now I feel fine, plenty of energy.... figures.

3. I saw Lelene today. Her leg is starting to look better. I feel weird saying that. It always looks bad. It always looks abnormal. But it seems to be starting to close up some. She told me that the nurse she has been going to for wound care has stopped washing it with betadine, and stopped applying antibiotic. She also has stopped washing it with soap and water. Its been over a week since this wound has been washed. It looked amazingly ok, but I urged and begged her to keep washing and keeping it clean. (We shall see. TIH.)

4. Today is the 40 day marker. I have 40 days left here. Wow. Ever time I talk or think about leaving that lump in the back of my throat appears. I don't want to miss these last 40 days. I don't think I will. I'm trying to soak up every second. Every person. Every relationship. I don't know when I will see these beautiful people again. That day is not promised to me. And that makes me sad. It makes me want to pack them all up and bring them home with me. (Lord knows, we have enough suitcases in the depot to hold everyone!) I pray that I will see them again. Just thinking about not seeing them again makes my heart break a little, and it makes me a little nauseous. I don't know what the future holds. But I know who does, and I know He is so very good. (and, lets face it, He's a way better planner than me!) Leaving is going to be so bittersweet.

5. Not only am I trying to invest my time with people here, but also with my Savior. I've had so many, many hard moments these past few weeks. God has used those times when I'm alone. He's called me to His word and whispered peace and hope to my soul. Sitting in the middle of God's creation and looking at all that He's made and then thinking that He is even concerned with me, much less gave His Son for me so that I may be allowed to enjoy Him forever. wow. I figured that I would get a lot of quality God time when I moved away from everyone and everything familiar to live with people I didn't know or understand, but I had no idea how fun and wonderful it would be!

6. Today is the 40 day marker. I only have 40 days until I am in the airport in Houston hugging my family, talking fast, and crying (lets be honest. We'll all know I'll be crying.) Leaving Haiti will be bitter. Coming home will be oh so sweet! I can't wait to sit at the kitchen table and drink coffee with my mom. Or sit with my dad on the couch. Or stay up late with Hopie laughing and talking with her sitting on my bed while I'm pretending to sleep. Or catch up with Gracie on all that is going on in all the world. I will miss seeing Coleman by 17 days. But I'm sure a long phone conversation will be in order. I can't wait to spend the week between being home and going to camp soaking up life with my loved ones. I can't wait to have a telephone that always has signal and doesn't cost me an arm and leg to talk to people! I can't wait to see all my incredibly wonderful friends when I go up to College Station or at camp! I can't wait to sit in church on Sunday May 29th and feel "home." I'm sure that week will be full of happy, happy tears and lots of hugs! I can NOT wait.

7. I'm currently still waiting and praying about nursing school. I was confident I was going to hear a week ago. And every day between now and then. I was supossed to hear between mid March and mid April. If I'm not mistaken "mid April" is in 3 days. I talked to a friend that is in the school right now and she said she didn't find out until early May. And at that point she had been waitlisted. I don't know if I have the sanity to wait that long. But I've had the "God's timing is perfect" conversation about 43 times in the last 3 days. I have my plan. (And it is awesome, if I do say so myself!) But God has His. And so far He has a perfect track record of topping my plans. He also has a perfect track record of being incredibly faithful, incredibly good. Maybe I should accept that His timing is perfect. His plan is cosmic. He's got this world under control. He doesn't need my help.

8. On a lighter note. I sometimes joke around that I'm becoming a crazy island jungle lady. (Being the only one that you know on a tropical island will do that to you.) Today I almost went crazy island lady on a group of about 55 Haitians. Here's the story. Boss Varis, Guerline, Boss Tchaly, and I all went to town to buy gas and a few random supplies.
The vehicle I drive here is one of those old "Mark III" vans, with the lazy boy bucket seats, and curtains on the windows, and the high roof. You know the van I'm talking about? We all had a friend with that car. You wanted to ride with them on road trips because they laid the back seat into a bed AND they had a TV in thier car. Ok. So I drive one of those in Haiti. I want to go on record as saying I have never driven a car that is harder to manuver, or with more blind spots. Maybe I would make a horrible soccer mom. I don't know. Its not the size of the car that bothers me. I learned how to drive in a Ford F-250. I can handle big cars. This van is just..... the worst. 
(Phew. ok. van rant over. ready to move on? me too.)
So we go to the gas station. I draw a lot of attention when I go into town. I am a white, female driver. Not your typical everyday sight. Also, apparently the stereotype that women can't drive exists here too. (especially white women.) Long story short. I ended up with about 10 men standing around my car shouting things like, "Come forward! Go back! Turn left! Turn right! Gack! Forward! Stop! Go!" But they were yelling these things ALL at the same time and in kreyol. I got frustrated and declared loudly that I didn't understand what they wanted me to do. So 15 more men joined in to help. Perfect. Just what I need. 25 people yelling different orders at me in another language! We eventually got it all sorted out I got the stupid huge, dumb blind-spot van in the right place and we purchased that gas! (Whoop! Let's get OUT of here!) I also explained, in no uncertain terms, to Boss Varis that I never wanted that to happen again. Nothing makes me feel like a dumb white girl more than 25 people yelling conflicting commands in another language. And the other 30 people discussing how the white girl can't understand or drive (gas stations here are much more crowded than ones in america.) Needless to say. This was not the highlight of my day. But I did survive and make it out in one peice and only yelled minimal mean things in kreyol!

9. For those of you that only comment on blog posts involving frogs.... here you go. I had a frog in my house last night. I know. This is really not a big deal. I am not scared of frogs. But what I have come to realize is that I am scared of the unpredictability of frogs. If you leave them alone, they may just sit there and eath the mosquitoes, or they may jump in your bed and make it all slimy. Either way. There was a frog in my house. Not a dry warty one that moves slow. A sleek, green-brown, slimy one...with an impressive jump range. Anyway. I went through many scenarios.
1. Shoo him out? (and risk him jumping around and hiding.)
2. Smash him? (this is typically what the Haitians do. but I try to avoid amphibian guts when possible.)
3. Electrocute him with my suprisingly powerful mosquito raquet? (this got a few votes from people who were supporting me through this hazard on skype, but I decided against it.)
4. Allow him to co-habitate and hope that he eats mosquitoes and does not make my bed slimy.

I eventually opted for option 4. Jumping frogs are just too risky. Eventually he made the mistake of coming into the open on the floor. I captured him in a random cup that I had, but then I got distracted and forgot about him until this morning. By that time he had given up on life.  Poor froggie, I didn't mean to kill you.

10. I really think I should be exempt from writing a tenth fact. numbers 8 and 9 were long drawn out stories with way more details than necessary. Sorry. Also, I think I might develop carpal tunnel syndrome from typing too much. I think I may take bets on who thinks I'll start showing symptoms... this could be a fun game. Let me know what you think.



Happy Tuesday everyone!

Men Dous

I have tiny tears in my eyes as I write this post.

I was just blessed beyond measure.

I know I've blogged about Jenny before. Sometimes I refer to her as "my baby". She is so precious. She used to be a little bit afraid of me because I'm white. Now, when she sees me coming she puts her little arms in the air for me to hold her. When I try to put her down or hand her to someone else she puts the death grip on my shirt and squeezes tightly with her legs. I would love to be able to play with her more, but it seems like every time she comes over and I hold her she falls asleep within 5 minutes. (I'm not exaggerating this at all!)

Today my sweet baby came over. She's in the middle of teething and has a fever. I held her and she immediately cuddled up to me and fell asleep. I was called away to help Boss Varis with something and laughingly mentioned that she always falls asleep when I hold her. He said, "In Kreyol we call that Men Dous" when you hold babies and they always fall asleep. I know that Haiti has a lot of "sayings" and was so excited that he shared that with me.  I didn't recognize the word "dous" though. After Jenny left I looked it up in my dictionary.

"Men Dous"- Gentle Hands.

(Did you notice that she's got the Gig'em thumb?)

I was so touched. My friend, Aimee, calls me the baby whisperer. I don't know why, but something about me makes babies fall asleep.

 As I was thinking about men dous I realized that is exactly how God is. He is the only one that can hold me tight and immediately make me feel at peace. He is the one that whispers peace to my soul. Sometimes I wish that I was more like Jenny, I wish I held tightly to him when I feel myself getting further away. I wish I acknowleged his men dous more than I do. I wish that even as I am at peace and sleeping I will snuggle closer and hold tightly to his fingers. My daddy on earth can make me feel very safe. I have fallen asleep many times snuggled up to him listening to his heartbeat.

But my father in Heaven is the ever present one with the most gentle of hands!
Snuggle up to your Father. He is The Men Dous that will wisper peace and rest to your weary soul!

Missing Normal

Probably 99% of those who are reading this will wake up in the morning, take a shower, fix your hair, put on some nice clothes, and go to church. At church you will sing praises to our great King, be fed by His word, and fellowship with other believers. You will leave church feeling encouraged, and hungry. So you will grab your family, or best friends and hit up your favorite Sunday lunch spot. After that most of you will go home and take the traditional Sunday afternon nap, and relax for the rest of the afternoon. If you are a student, with a life anything comprable to mine when I was a student, you will skip the nap with much grumbling and head to the nearest coffee shop to get as much homework done as possible before class on Monday. At the coffee shop you will more than likely see people you know and maybe even make small talk. You will be distracted by those having conversations and maybe stick headphones in your ears to keep you focused on the assignment, and not on evesdropping. Did I mention that as you travel to and from church, home, and the coffee shop you will most likely drive a car with the appropriate amount of people per seat belt, or less? And you will be able to drive without swerving to miss potholes and bottom out every 3 seconds. Also, did I mention that people will not be staring at you the entire day? Analyzing everything that you do and then whispering to their neighbor about it. You won't be distracting in church, you will fit right in, you will barely be noticed as you drive home or walk into the coffee shop. Because its normal for you.

None of that will happen to me tomorrow. I will wake up, maybe fix my hair (like re-do the ponytail), probably put on a skirt and maybe something other than a white v-neck shirt, the only make-up I will wear is chapstick, and then I will walk to church. As I walk to church people will stare at me. When I get to church I will be noticed. The children's attention is going to be gone for the rest of the service as they whisper. We will sing songs in French. Someone will graciously lend me their song book, so I will have some idea of how to formulate the words, but I won't understand the majority of them. We will sit, and the pastor will begin to teach. I will count it a success if I can find the right passage without asking for help, much less understand the main points of the sermon. After church, I will mill around for as little as I think is appropriate and then leave. I won't be going to Rancho Grande with my family and friends, I'll come home alone. I won't be studying at the local coffee shop. I won't drive a car. I won't be normal and I won't fit in.

I LOVE church here. It has given me a wider veiw of the body of Christ. I LOVE living here. I have learned so much and grown so much. But I miss singing to my Jesus in English! I miss knowing the words to the songs and being able to close my eyes and sing them only to Him. I miss NOT being stared at! I miss sunday lunch with family. Or Sunday afternoon study dates with friends. I miss fitting in. I miss being able to understand conversations around me 100% without having to strain to understand each word. I miss being able to call my mom on the way to study just to hello. Or running into random friends at the grocery store.

Yesterday I cried. A lot. Actually, I am suprised it hasn't happened sooner, seeing as how I cry at least every 2 weeks in the states whether I need it or not! The underlying theme of all the times I cried yesterday was that I am a little homesick. I think there is a common misconception that missionaries love God and the people they are with so much that they don't really need friends. Every single word in that statement is false. Maybe I'm not the normal missionary, but I miss my friends and family. I miss things being normal.

But I'm not ready to come home just yet. The hardest part about living in two countries is trying to explain it to others. When I'm in the States I miss Haiti. I get homesick for Haiti. I miss the people I miss the smells, I miss it all! When I'm here I get homesick for the States. It usually takes longer for me to miss the states than for me to miss Haiti though. Typically, by the time I set foot in Miami I'm ready to return home to Haiti. But after 3 months here I'm missing the States. I'm not saying any of this to make anyone think that I am miserable here or that I would rather be in the States right now. I'm not, and I don't. I'm simply sharing with you how I am feeling so you may be praying more effectively for me.

Hudson and Daniel coming to work and visit here was such a huge encouragement I can't even express it. They encouraged me in ways that I really needed. They made me laugh until I cried (and thought I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen) at least once. I don't think I realized how much I needed them to come until they were here. It was such a wonderful breath of fresh air. But now they are gone and its just me again. Today and yesterday I have been thinking of home often.

I know its impossible for me to write something like this without many of you worrying about me. Please don't worry. Like I said, I AM loving it here. I AM NOT ready to go home. I just miss a little bit of normalcy. Pray that my heart will be full. I know that my Savior is with me. Closer than the air I breathe. Pray that I will be overwhelmed with a new love for these people, and a new urgency to show love to them.

And tomorrow, in church, sing your heart out to Jesus for me! I will be singing in French, but God understands what even I do not.

Praise Him for being so big and wonderful!

Saturday: Week in Review

Well I haven't been online much this week because my internet has been so painfully slow. Also, my dad and sister, Grace have been here all week, so we've been hanging out too! I've enjoyed them being here so much. They brought a little bit of home with them along with lots of laughs.... and chips and salsa!!

The weather has been strange this week. Pouring rain. It has made lots of mud that slowly and steadily crept into my house. This morning I did some major cleaning because I just couldn't handle it anymore.

My dad has been such a help around camp. He built 5 amazing picnic tables, some really awesome shelves for our storage area, and designed a linen closet for all the sheets and blankets that we are beginning to accumulate. I'm so glad that he got to come and meet the people I spend my time with and see where I am and what is actually going on here. Unfortunately, because of the rain, the school was closed or finished early every day, so I only had class once this week. They got to meet my older, and much smaller class and observe me teaching a class.

Gracie has been so fun to have around too! He has been helping me with random things that need to be done, and provides the humor to get me though the day. Today at breakfast she made me laugh so hard I almost choked on my peanut butter. She happily made valentines for my entire class on Wednesday afternoon, but then when we showed up for school all the kids were gone. I am planning on giving them their valentines on Monday, but I wish they could all formally meet Gracie and my dad too! The other nice thing about Gracie being here is that she is taking lots of pictures!! Which I love!

Last Saturday I traveled to Port Au Prince, so that I could be there to pick them up from the Airport. I think this was my first time to travel solo in this country, but it went really well. Thankfully my Kreyol is getting better. While we were waiting for my plane to leave I decided to bust out the camera and take some photos. Last week I printed some pictures that I had on my camera of me, and some of the other team members with some of the Haitian Staff here. I didn't realize how everyone else would get jealous... or at least pretend to be. So here is the picture I'll be printing out for Boss Varis... along with the one from when he retrieved my keys!

On Sunday afternoon after getting Daddy and Gracie from the airport. Gracie ran so fast to hug me that she forgot to not headbutt me in the process. Although it gave me a headache, I took it as a compliment, and a sign that she missed me!

This is Tuesday afternoon preparing for school. I made Daddy and Gracie help me make Valentines for my students. I printed out a few Bible verses on paper and then we decorated!!

Jan 3:16 "Paske, Bondye sitèlman renmen lèzòm li bay sèl Pitit li a pou yo. Tout moun ki va mete konfyans yo nan li p'ap pedi lavi yo. Okontrè y'a gen lavi ki p'ap janm fini an."

 

1 Jan 4:7  "Mezanmi, se pou nou yonn renmen lòt paske renmen soti nan Bondye. Moun ki gen renmen nan kè yo, se pitit Bondye yo ye. Yo konnen ki moun Bondye ye."

 

1 Jan 4:10 "Men kisa renmen an ye: Se pa nou menm ki te renmen Bondye, se li menm pito ki te renmen nou, ki te voye Pitit li a pou nou te ka resevwa padon pou peche nou yo, gremesi Pitit la."

 

I decided to teach on family relationships in honor of my family being there. I taught them words like Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister, Cousin, Grandma, Uncle, etc. Whenever I got to Uncle and explained that Bobby, (who is wildly popular in the village) is my Uncle they were all beside themselves with excitement. So, Uncle Bobby, if you are reading this, please know that you are missed...and they may all call you "Uncle Bobby" instead of "Bobby" from now on.

I know it looks like I am forcing these little girls to take a picture with me... We are still working on smiling for photos instead of frowning.

Or maybe they just like Gracie better?

On wednesday I showed up to teach school, (with 60 valentines that Gracie made) only to find out that they were let out early, so everyone was gone. We stayed and played with the 5 or so kids that were there for a while, then decided to  head home. While we were there I was taught the ancient game of "roll the wheel using only the stick." I'm really pretty terrible at it... If we are being honest.

Also this week I got to learn how to make the best jam/jelly in the world. It is made out of the rind of grapefruit, and I am obsessed with it. I've been dying for Alicia to show me how to make it for like 3 weeks now, and yesterday and today she showed me... Here are a few pictures that I made Gracie take, (So glad she's here!), along with some basic directions. These are not exact. TIH.

Soak rinds in water overnight, or until they are a little clear-ish.

Squeeze excess water out of rinds and set rinds aside.

Add a ridiculous amount of sugar (about 5 cups). Maybe that's why it tastes so good!

I'm not sure wheather this sugar is white or brown. Its the color brown, but has the consistency of normal sugar... like beige sugar maybe?

Add about 5 cups of water, stir together and put on to boil. I'm not sure how long these were left to boil, but it was until it had the right consistency for jam/jelly. Not too soupy, but not too thick either.

It has been a wonderful week and, like I said, I have immensly enjoyed having my family here. They have been a total blessing!

I'll be posting a prayer update very soon.

Be looking! Thank you for all your prayers!

Kè Bondye

There is somthing so cool about God. (I think that is the most elementary statement about God I have ever made. And cool doesn't seem like the right word, but its all I got right now.)

 I have been so blessed to experience and know God in a different way here.  Here his name is Bondye. I really and truely MET Bondye here in Haiti on January 13th, 2010. Exactly one year and one month ago today as a matter of fact! I had just spent the entire day living in mass heartache and pain, both physical and emotional. The day ended with me watching a beautiful teenager die in my arms, and watching her boyfriend as he freshly grieved his loss. I left the clinic that night and didn't know how to feel. My heart was broken, But I wasn't feeling a pain I had felt before. I started to pray, but didn't know where to start...this is what came out... Sobbing... "Oh Bondye!"... More sobbing. A garbled half Kryeol, half English, all sobbing prayer came out. And as I was praying to Bondye about how sad I was and how could this happen to people I loved so much and didn't even know... I realized He CREATED them. Loves them and KNEW this was going to happen. I realized I was not praying to my white skinned, middle-class God, but the God of Haiti. The God of all of this.

This is something I knew in my head, but its like reading about or seeing pictures of a beautiful beach, and then actually going there... two very different things!

This past week I have gotten to spend some more time with Bondye. Remember how my kids at class on Thursday were telling me that I spoke Kreyol well? Well after class they asked if I would pray in Kreyol to finish up class. Nervously I started, "Good afternoon, Bondye. Thank you for this day. Thank you for my class. Thank you for each student here. Thank you that they are all so smart. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for me being here. I love you. Amen." (I don't really know how to pray ask for things, so it was all thank you's... which is kinda cool!) But afterwards, I realized that I just prayed my first, full Kreyol, non sobbing prayer in all words that made sense and blessed my students. It is so neat to see differents sides of God's heart!

Today in Church we sang :
"Notre Dieu est un Dieu Puissant
Il règne au dessus des cieux
avec sagesse, puissance, amour
Notre Dieu es Dieu puissant.
(Our God is an Awesome God.)

It took my breath away. Partially because the lady next to me was singing her heart out, and she had an INCREDIBLE voice. It was just so great. It was another moment that I really felt like God was not just God, but he was also Bondye.

I'm praying for more opportunities to get to know God's heart... Kè Bondye!

Because it is Beautiful.

Catch up

So I last updated when I was leaving Port au prince. We were headed out on a 6 hour tour of the country. Our drive from PAP to Limbe was actually enjoyable for the most part. We basically drove the entire east coast and through the mountains in the north. Very pretty country! We were in the back of a flat bed truck with walls on it and spent most of the time standing up because it hurt too much to be bounced around through the bumps. We drove out Road 1 through PAP to Xaragua. We drove past Global Outreach, and I saw the clinic that I worked in, and pointed out the flour mill that exploded and the building I was in when the quake hit. Thankfully no bad memories or flashbacks bothered me. God is so faithful. I can't believe I am emotionally where I am today after the issues I struggled so deeply with for a large part of this year.

We got to camp later than expected (our 6 hour drive turned into 7)... did I mention PAP and Limbe are actually only 80 miles apart as the crow flies? They are about 235kilometers apart on the road... which means absolutely nothing to me. Anyway, we got to camp and I barely recognized anything. Really, to be honest, the only thing I recognized that night was my three friends that had already been living there. Everything has changed so much. There are buildings everywhere, its crazy! And there is beautiful landscaping everywhere! I can't wait to have time to take my camera around the camp and village and post a complete photo tour. Its great! I found out that the girl who will be living with me is not just in charge of mango trees, but also coffee trees coconuts, bananas, coco, and flowers! A friend of mine gave me seeds for cucumbers, carrots, lettuce, spinach, peppers, and all kinds of other stuff and Guerline, my roommate was so happy when I gave them to her!

Its been so fun to be here. I've panicked only a once about being left here, but quickly got over it. My biggest problem is that I'm a 5 year old and I'm scared to death of the dark... and it does get pretty dark here! But I think its going to be ok. We shall see. I talked with Betty yesterday and she told me that on Friday I'll be driving back to PAP with the team and then returning to camp on Sunday with Gersan to meet the medical team from Minnesota. And then I think that Betty and Gersan are going to take a week or so off from life in PAP and come stay here with me for a week before leaving me here with Guerline. She speaks not a WORD of english, so its all me and my kreyol but hopefully my kreyol will be pretty good after that... we shall see.

I've really enjoyed being with the kiddos as well. I've met a decent amount of new ones and gotten to talk with the old friends. I love seeing their faces when I talk to them and they look at me in shock and say, "Ou pale Kreyol!?!?!?" (you speak kreyol.) Its the best. I can't wait to post pictures, but my internet is unbearably slow, so bear with me in posting pictures!

Please be praying for Haiti tomorrow as it is the anniversary of the earthquake. I'm thankful that I am here in Haiti, but also thankful that I am in Limbe and not PAP. Sometimes those two areas feel like different worlds entirely. God has been so faithful to all those in PAP and even though the families in Little Guinea haven't been through an earthquake, they are still living in poverty. Pray that their eyes will be opened to see the bright and shining hope that Christ brings! Tomorrow is the second day of camp and we will share the gospel completely again. Pray that it is recieved well.

Anyway, sorry for being scatterbrained. Thanks for bearing with me until life slows down a little bit. I'll get in a groove soon, I promise!

The Plan: Part deux

Ok, so hopefully my previous post helped to lay the foundation in your minds of where I'll be. Now I'll try and tell you what I'm going to be doing. This may be difficult because its going to be a learning experience the entire way through the process.

My roommate:
I will be staying at Jacob's Well Youth Camp (JWYC) from January 5th, 2011 to early May 2011. So this trip will be roughly 4 months long. I will be living with a girl from the nearby town of Limbe. The village that I will be living in is called Little Guinea, this is where the camp is located. I do not personally know the girl I'm staying with, but I do know that she is close to my age, but a few years older. This past summer, a Mango Tree project was begun at Jacob's Well. The intent of this project is to plant and grow mango trees to produce mangoes that can be sold to generate some revenue for the camp, this way it is a little bit self-sustaining. This girl has been helping organize this planting project. My understanding is that she is acting as Jacob's Well's secretary for both the mango project and the school.

Security:
Along with the safety of having a roommate at night I will be supervised by security guys. Gersan and Betty call them "elders" meaning they are either elders in the community or in the church. Either way, The Valcins trust them with my safety and the safety of this other girl and the camp property. They are already conducting 24 hour surveillance on the campground to make sure that none of our materials and camp supplies wander off or get broken. They will continue to do this while I am there. I will be with someone, either my roommate, the elders, or a teacher at the school at all times. The elder's wives will help feed me so I don't starve, they will hopefully show me how one would go about doing laundry in Haiti, which I'm excited about, all the ladies do their laundry on the same day and just hang out together in their front yards and hang-dry their clothes on the nearest cactus fence, I hope I get to participate soon!

My Jobs

School:
In August the two schools that serve the area around Little Guinea closed down because the teachers weren't being paid, so they quit coming to school. The families in the village don't have the resources to pay for school for all their children and usually only the oldest child of the family is able to attend school. Jacob's Well had a long-term goal of opening a school and a clinic in the far off future, but because of these schools closing and the Cholera epidemic these have both become needs that were forced to the top of the list. This past Fall a school has been meeting in the church building at the campsite. Haitian teachers from the village are currently working for free hoping to receive compensation very soon. The girl I will be living with has been in charge of collecting money from the parents and keeping track of the children's registrations. There are currently about 150 children registered and 115 attending school. There are around 300 school-aged children in the village and we would like to provide them all with the opportunity to attend school.  My involvement with the school will be to teach English to the upper grade levels. I'm honestly not sure what "upper grade" means, because the oldest grade I think is some where around 5th grade. I have never taught English as a second language before, so if anyone reading this blog has any ideas they are more than welcome. I don't want to reinvent the wheel here, so I'm planning on using an English-Kreyol bible and going through it starting in John. I will memorize verses in Kreyol and they will memorize verses in English. When I was little I memorized everything by singing songs and I have some old cassette tapes with singing bible verses that I'll probably take. Also I think its easier to learn songs in a foreign language than just learn to speak. So that's the plan for now.

Health Education/Clinic:
There have not, up to this point, been any cases of Cholera coming from the village itself, but there is a very large hospital in Limbe which is not far away (and upstream), so there have been several recent cases of Cholera occurring inLittle Guinea because of people bringing Cholera to this hospital in Limbe. I will be working to educate the people of the village about water safety, general sanitation and hygiene, nutrition, etc. This will be a large task because I will be reinventing the wheel in a way here. Not only will I be mainly speaking Kreyol, but there has been no program like this in the area. Because of the camp I have come into contact with many of the children, but I have not seen many adult faces around the camp in the past few years. I will be working to build relationships with the women of the village. Not only do I want to love these women, encourage them, tell them they are precious and not worthless, but I want to help them provide better lives for their families. I don't want to take them charity. I want to teach them skills. But most importantly I want to do this all with the love of Christ. If I walk into their village and in my uppity white-girl voice tell them that they shouldn't drink from the river and they shouldn't feed their kids this or let their kids do that I will probably hurt feelings. I will probably destroy the gospel of love, and I will NOT form relationships. They will not change their behaviors and I will do more damage than good. I would appreciate much prayer for this area of my work. I want to be an encouragement. I don't want these women to think that I am telling them they are bad mothers when they are breaking their backs to provide for their families. I want them to leave feeling loved, worth something, joyful, having built relationships with me and the other women in the village, and if they learn how to be more healthy along the way then I have succeeded. I don't want to walk into a village that has drunk water from the river for 6 generations and tell them that they can't do that anymore. I want to be able to teach, but to teach in love and with encouragement.

I will not be "running a clinic" per-say, but I will be using my first aid and response training to help in whatever ways I can. I really have no idea what types of things I'll see. Because I have served as the "camp nurse" on the past trips as soon as I get to the village now everyone runs up and starts showing me their cuts and scrapes. Hopefully I'll be able to use these opportunities to talk about proper hand-washing and wound care. We'll see.

In summary: (For those who scan the long blog and just want to get to the point.)

I'll be teaching English to children and educating the women of the village about Cholera and other health topics while hopefully forming encouraging relationships with all. 


I'm really not sure what this is all going to look like. I'm trying not to imagine it all in my head and form ideas and perceptions of what it will be like. I know that no matter what I day-dream it to be it will end up being vastly different, and I'll be discouraged. I am fully prepared to fail at everything a few times. I already know this will be a humbling trip. I want to glorify Christ and that is currently my only goal.

Please join me in prayer.

And now, without further ado, allow me to introduce....

The Plan!!!

To be completely honest, there has been much "ado" (n. Bustle; fuss; trouble; bother.) in announcing this.

I found out "the plan' a few weeks ago and have been putting off writing about it. I think this is partially because I'm so overwhelmed by the magnitude of it. ... hmmm. magnitude... not my favorite word to use since January 12 of this year, but I think its appropriate. This is a big deal. Hopefully not in the same manner as the 7.0 that tore apart my life, but I don't doubt that it will impact my life just as greatly...minus the post traumatic stress. I'm so very excited and nervous about taking this new step, but I am more than confident that my Father will be with me every step of the way to guide and direct me in His steps.

Ok, so here goes, I'm announcing this to the entire internet world.

I'm moving to Haiti.

I honestly can't believe this is happening. And its happening at whirlwind speeds I move on January 5th. I found out that this would be happening 35 days before I would board the plane. I have a million and a half things to do between now and then, but I'm sure I'll get them all done, and if not, then maybe they weren't important.


I already know that this is going to take forever to write out, so I'm breaking it into parts. This will be part one: Laying the Foundation. The History of Jacob's Well Youth Camp.

When I was 9 years old, I attended Frontier Camp for the first time as a camper. I loved it. I went on become a staff member, I have held positions on staff ranging from Cook's help, Junior counselor, Activity Leader, Senior Counselor, TP/General Store Manager, Med Tech, Health Care Assistant (which is the same as Med Tech, but they changed the name, so I count it as two positions!), ... and other hodgepodge staff positions. Needless to say my involvement with Frontier Camp has grown my relationship with the Lord and with others. My love for people and for camping ministry has been greatly impacted by being a camper and staffer at FC. (Shameless plug: If you are looking for a place to send your child for summer camp this year please send them to Frontier Camp. You won't regret it!)

In December of 2006 Frontier Camp partnered with Pastor Gersan Valcin and his wife Betty and sent its first team to Haiti to do a camp plant and host the first-ever Christian day camp for children in Haiti. The campground is just outside of Limbe, which is a little South-West of Cap-Haitian. There is an old Spanish well on the site that is called "Jacob's Well," named after the well in John 4:6 that Jesus met 'The Woman at the Well' and gave her Living Water. We decided to name the camp Jacob's Well Youth Camp (JWYC) because of the location and also because our main goal is to bring everlasting life giving water to the souls of those who are in that area.

Much of the time during the first couple of trips has been spent training Haitian staff to do camp. We do not want an American camp in Haiti. We want to plant a Haitian camp in Haiti. The counselors are local church and AWANA leaders, adults who not only have a relationship with these kids, but will actually see them again for discipleship and follow, not to mention they speak Kreyol and we don't!

In December of 2007 I took my first trip to Jacob's Well and immediately fell in love with God's beautiful creation of Haiti. It captured my heart. Every bit of it stole my heart... the mountains, the ocean, the smell that is not always pleasant, the beautiful people, their smiles, their waves, the way they say "nowaaa" instead of 'Noelle', the roosters that crow all through the day and night. I loved it. I knew as I was riding in the tap-tap (Haitian form of taxi. You hit the side of the car twice for it to go or stop..."TAP... TAP" very clever) getting dirt and grime matted in my hair and looking out at the rice fields that I was made for this country. This was the reason God created me. To love these people. Over the years I've realized that it may not be permanent, and it may not be forever, but at least for this season I am to love these people with my whole heart.

 {One of my favorite all-time memories. Less than 5 minutes after we arrived there were 30+ kids wanting to play. Knowing ABSOLUTELY zero kreyol we grabbed hands and played ring-around-the-rosie over and over again. The kids would just fall down whenever they felt like it. Pure joy.}

{I think this is when I knew I never wanted to leave. 10 minutes into my trip.}

 {Meet Orasca. You'll be seeing more of her when I move}

In December of 2008 I made my second trip to Haiti. It was wonderful, but a little more difficult. By this time I knew what I was getting into. As beautiful as these children are and as I think the whole country is they are in deep darkness and slavery to Satan. Jacob's Well Youth Camp (JWYC) is working to show the love and freedom of Christ to the next generation by teaching the children about Jesus. This second trip was more difficult because I was more aware of the spiritual warfare that was occurring all around me. One night we spent in tents at the campsite because we were holding an overnight camp for the older children. The Haitian staff were in the tents with the kiddos and we were there for moral and prayer support. 

That night I learned several things. It gets REALLY dark in Haiti. There was a bright moon, which was awesome, but it was very dark other than that. It gets very cold in that region of Haiti. Our camp is on the side of a mountain and it definitely got very chilly which I was not expecting because of the heat during the day. Also, sound travels really well in Haiti. There was no city noise or anything so we could hear very clearly the Vodoo ceremonies that were taking place across the valley that our mountain overlooks. Satan has a hold on these people. The gospel has been proclaimed through JWYC and that is something to celebrate!

Since the start of Jacob's Well in 2006, a church has been planted in the village and God is being glorified. I believe the church was planted in 2008. In fact, one of the things that blessed me greatly was on my second trip to JWYC I was looking for my friends that I had made the previous year. When I asked about them the other village children told me that they were at the church doing a program that sounded like a discipleship program for the children who had accepted Christ as their Savior that past year. (I'm not 100% positive that's what it was, because my Kreyol was even worse then than it is currently, but I think that's what they told me.)

So this church has currently been there for almost 3 years now and there is now a building and so much works has been done.


It is now functioning as a school building... Which brings us to part two of the story.

Please check back for the rest of the story *said in a Paul Harvey voice*


Until then please pray for:
-The hearts of the people in the village.
-The Cholera and rioting that are tearing apart the country.
-My personal sanity and preparation as I try to finish finals, raise support, graduate, and move out of the country in the next 3 weeks! Pray that I will have the wisdom and understanding to prepare for this journey well.

Thanks for bearing with me. I'll try to get the following parts of the story written as soon as possible.

Truth Hour

I love reading other people's blogs. I love their honesty. I love their adventures. I love their humor.

Its so exciting and wonderful that we have this outlet to talk about our lives. To beautifully journal out our hearts, or maybe not so beautifully vent.

Some people's blogs make me laugh. Some make me cry... a lot.

However, if I were to be 100% honest with you I'd have to admit I do find myself getting jealous.
Sometimes I'm jealous of other people's humor and writing style. I think, "I bet if I were a funnier writer....something" I don't even know what would happen, but at least I'd be funny!

Last week I found myself jealous of other people's situations. Most of the blogs I read are of missionaries, living in countries that I want to be in. Like the Hendricks, the Livesay's, the Stone's, Theresa, and all the other blogs that I read by snowballing from my friends blogs.

Its really hard to read other people's adventures and blogs and be stuck here.

I found a plane ticket Thursday night.

No. Not like magically found it stuck in a book somewhere. I "found" after about 45 minutes of plane research to find the cheapest ticket. I considered running away one weekend in October.

Round trip price $520 (That's including the tax already.)
I was impressed. And pretty tempted to take that trip. I have learned a few things about purchasing plane tickets since my last trip... I won't tell you exactly how much I paid for my last plane ticket, but it was almost double what this $520 one was.

Knowing that I couldn't run away I did the next best thing... cry.

I miss my Haiti. I miss the Kreyol. I miss the children, their smiles, their nappy hair, their accents when the Limbe kids mimic our English, "Watiz yo rnaam?" (Say it out loud= What is your name?), when they see us and shout "gig'em" and "howdyee". Then they go running half clothed through the village shouting "Blanc! Blanc! Blanc!" alerting the neighborhood that we have arrived! I just miss it all.

I've had a lot of conversations about "the future" and Haiti recently. More specifically, what life would look like if the future doesn't include Haiti... and what if it does?

I've come to a place where I realize that... ummmm.....

(I've now stared at the beginning of that sentence trying to come up with an end to it for the past 15 minutes...)

OK. Here's where I am:

I want to serve the Lord with my life.

I want that to be in Haiti.

For now, I think those two things are in agreement.

However, I have realized that just because I think God wants me in Haiti for now doesn't mean that He's going to want me there forever.

I have a desire to be a wife and a mother. After holding Annie Bowles all of last night, the mommy part of me is really excited for the day I'll be able to hold my own babies. I have this really adorable vision of me and my children (some of them adopted with beautiful black skin) sitting in our hut and playing in the dirt in Haiti. I can see myself panicking the first time my son gets too high up in the coconut tree, or being emotional when my daughter makes me my first flower and weed bracelet. It will be awesome.

But while I can see that and think it will be awesome. I can also see myself having the makings of a pretty good American soccer mom. I don't think I could drive a mini van (they weird me out), but an SUV or a Tahoe I could drive.

Basically, I'm excited to see what's ahead.

Hoping that it is Haiti.

But excited either way.

I told a good friend yesterday that as awesome as my plans are, I know that God is faithful and His plans are perfect. I love it when our plans are the same. I pray for that! But I know that if my heart is seeking His I'll be more than happy wherever I am.

And I'm looking forward to that!

How Foolish I Feel

This post is going to be hard for me to write. Some of it is graphic. I want to effectively communicate what I saw, so I don't think I can leave out certain details. However, these things were very hard for me to see and harder for me to write.

Gersan had done His best to warn, and prepare us for what we would see at the General Hospital today. I was prepared mentally, but not emotionally. I still thought God had brought me to Haiti to help people. But Gersan had been right. God didn't need me for his plans, He wanted to change my heart!

Doctor Rachel Coq came to pick us up early in the morning. We got to talk a lot about healthcare in Haiti and some of the issues that they face. We found out that she is a big deal, not only in Haiti, but worldwide. She was preparing to go to a conference in South Africa and she had been many other places for work. She worked with AIDS patients, "SIDA" in Kreyol, and we spent the car ride to the Hospital talking about that. I really enjoyed spending time with her. She is one of those rare beautiful people that everything she does seems beautiful and elegant. I loved listening to her accent and the way she talked about her people. I could tell she loved her work and the ones she worked with.

We arrived at the hospital and she walked us in the door, spoke briefly with someone then said, "Orevwa!"

"OREVWA??!?!" – "YOU'RE LEAVING!???"

Yes, she was leaving. She had other things to do that day, so she was going to leave us with a lady in the administration office. In Haiti, It's hard to tell who is friends with whom, because they are all so friendly, so I don't know if Rachel knew the lady we got left with, or if she was a stranger. Either way we got left in the administration office.

"ok. We can handle this." We tell our selves. "This is Haiti" quickly became our motto for anything that went different than we planned.

After waiting over an hour in the office watching people come and go, and no one acknowledging our existence, we decided they had totally forgotten about us. The walls were white, and so were we, maybe we blended in? Then the head charge nurse said, "Follow me." So we did, she took us to another nurse, who walked us to the pediatric building. She explained that she was a maternity nurse and wanted to leave us with someone in that department, so she introduced us to Naomi, a pediatric nurse. Did I mention that every person down the line spoke less and less English? They asked who is staying and who wants to go to the surgery building? .... Wow. That sounds exciting, but I think we'll stick together. (We thought our mothers would appreciate that.)

And so our hospital tour began. I know we were both humbled by the next few hours. We thought we were going to come in and change the world, but God needed to break our hearts and humble us first… He did.

I don't think I was prepared for what I saw after that. In a sense I was, because they had prepared me for the worst. I'm not really surprised by anything I see in Haiti anymore, but sometimes its still hard to take in.

There were 3 rooms in the "main" part of the pedi ward. Naomi showed us around and stopped by almost every bed explaining what was wrong with each child. She spoke French with an attempt at an American accent and we tried to add a French accent to our English. Communication was a battle for sure! Every child was febrile, anemic, malnourished, and had edema. Some had infections, but I got the idea that the malnourishment caused all the problems. After telling us what each child had, she would look at us with a look that said, "Can you help?"

Heartbreaking.

There was room upon room of children, younger, older, babies, infants, teens… all malnourished and uncared for. I could tell which children had families and money by how well they were cared for. Some were just laying there with no IV, no medicine, nothing. Just waiting to die. There was one baby that the nurse wanted to show us. She had no IV, no medication, and no care. She was hydrocephalic; a condition where there is a buildup of fluid inside the skull and severe brain swelling occurs causing deformation. This sweet baby had not been fed or cared for, she was tinier than tiny. Her arms and legs were no bigger than one of my little fingers. Both eyes were severely infected; I wouldn't doubt that she had become blind from the infection. Nothing was being done. The nurses were all sure to show her to Erin and I multiple times, like an animal at the zoo, but not a sweet baby girl that God loves dearly.

We were then led down a hallway. I new smell hit me square in the face. Rancid. I thought, "Where are we going?" I honestly thought we were leaving through the back abandoned hallway door or something, but no, we walked into another room. There were 3-5 children per bed. Most had dried food or vomit on them; some were lying in beds with sheets that looked as if they had been soiled over and over without being changed. They seemed to all have mental problems. They reached out us like beggars in jail through the bars of their cribs. They weren't begging for money, but for someone to love them. The nurses would slap their hands and scold as they reached out to us. Some looked as old as 12, but didn't have speech or controlled movements, almost as if they had never been held or stimulated so they never developed right.

These were the children with no mothers or fathers: Orphans. I felt as if I had been kicked in the stomach. These were God's children, the apple of His eye. To be totally honest with you, my first reaction upon walking into that room was to recoil, and shy away when they reached out. Those kids were dirty and smelled bad. I needed purell, gloves, and a facemask before I got close to them. Then a split second later I wanted to sit on the floor and cry. Then I wanted to pick them all up, bathe them and hold them. Oh! How Jesus would have loved them! Oh, how He DOES love them!

The nurse hurried us off to another room. There was a man there who spoke decent English and showed us around his room explaining what the children had there. Most were teens with heart problems like arrhythmias, or other problems like Tuberculosis and meningitis.

From there we were taken to the Neonatal ICU where a doctor that spoke French and Creole, but not a word of English was working. Basically we stood and looked at the babies for the next few hours. There was nothing for us to do in the hospital, which is why we kept getting passed around to the next person, and on down the line. We spent the rest of the afternoon in the NICU. All the babies in there were premature and had mothers that were HIV/AIDS. I can't even begin to tell you how tiny these babies were. I bottle fed a few and thought they would be too little to suck, but somehow they did. Those babies were fighters, fighting for their lives. What a hard life they had ahead of them. Haiti is so hot of a place that you wouldn't think they would need incubators, but those babies were so little and cold. Some were wrapped in plastic baggies wrapped so tight, so the heat wouldn't escape.

We stayed there, feeling very useless and in the way, but enjoying holding the babies and loving them whether we were in the way or not.

I think both me and Erin felt a little guilty for not working a longer day…. And not really doing anything other than be "on tour" in the hospital. God still had humbling to do. We both went home feeling very foolish and frustrated and helpless…and heartbroken.

Here is something from my prayer journal that night: "How silly of me to think I could come here and do something for you, God… I feel so foolish and arrogant that I assumed we could actually be of some help to these people. I don't even speak the language or know anything about medicine. I pray that you will give me a humble heart to see and know you. I pray that I won't become discouraged about how little I can help, but become motivated to learn and apply myself more."

It was a hard day to say the least. I hope I adequately described the tragedy and pain I saw that day. God loves those children, He has not forgotten them, although it seems like everyone else had. I had to keep telling myself over and over, God loves and knows those babies!