Beauties & Babies

 

Do you ever have one of those moments where it feels like everything is just “Working”? you woke up early without your alarm, drank your whole cup of tea before it got cold, your hair looks good, it’s sunny and 73*, you went on a five mile walk in your healthy body, cleared your mind of stress and anxiety lurking in the corners, you stopped by a friend’s house unannounced because you were walking by and couldn’t wait to share what a great day you were having, and just word vomit all your hopes and dreams in their lap, and then on your walk home you just had enough energy and excitement to run the last bit (and LIKE IT?!?) In that moments you feel like you can dream for your future, see clearly what it is that you are passionate about, and your thoughts are not clouded by doubt or fear or whatever other lies you let rule your mind? That afternoon for me was Thursday, August 20, 2015. I felt so energized. But that energy I had cannot carry me through forever, so I had to act.

Recently I posted on social media about my last day at work. It was bittersweet to leave that job that shaped me as a nurse, and the co-workers turned dear friends, but I am even more excited about what is to come. I’m moving toward what moves me. Women move me. I care about women, I care about health, and I care about being a woman who moves other women. It’s hard to be a woman, but it’s also one of the things I’m most thankful for. A woman I follow on Instagram posted the

the picture above, and I think it is so true, when women encourage and empower other women it empowers and encourages them too, and allows them to continue encouraging and empowering more women.

So here’s the long and short of it. I am transitioning out of being a cardiac nurse to being a Women’s Health Advocate/Cheerleader/Educator/Encourager. (That’s the title I just came up with for myself.) 

•  For my “day” job (which will actually be my night job) I will be working at John Peter Smith Hospital here in Fort Worth in their Labor & Delivery department. 
• The rest of my “nurse” time will be spent continuing to volunteer at the Fort Worth Pregnancy Center, empowering women to make informed and healthy choices about their unplanned pregnancy, and giving them all the loving support they need to do so. 
• Also, I have started working with Beauty Counter. It is an amazing company that I’m learning so much through being a part of, and guess what?! It’s mostly women empowering women to make healthy choices! Are we seeing a pattern yet?  (More on Beauty Counter later). 
• Additionally, I’m planning to move forward with my yoga practice and become certified to teach. My girls and guys at The Yoga Project have changed my life in ways I didn’t see coming, and I want to be a part of that life-change too. 
• And I would really love to start writing/blogging again because, for me, that brings about a lot of positive mental health in my life.

I’m making dreams for the future, dreams of how I’ll spend my time, how I’ll impact, encourage, and empower women, and mostly dreams of who I’ll meet and how what they will teach me. It’s too easy to become insecure and full of comparison. I do that every day. We have enough people telling us we are doing it wrong. Someone needs to encourage and tell us that we are doing it right. So I’m both excited and scared. Of course, I’m terrified about working nights, I hate staying up past 10PM. I’m definitely concerned that I’m going to miss my husband all the time between me working nights and him being in medical school. But I’m thankful he’s supportive. Sure I’m worried about learning new things, changing from the private to the county hospital, being responsible for the freshest lives on the whole planet, and making new friends. I definitely feel inadequate when I go in to inform a scared girl or woman of her results pertaining to an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy. Of course I’m worried that through being in a direct sales company people will think I’m being judgy or salesy instead of informative, educational, and caring. Or that people won’t want to be around me because I talk about woman stuff, use woman words that no normal people are comfortable with using. I’m definitely scared to start my blog back up, I mean can I even write (seriously, I used the word woman/women and encourage and empower literally every other word in the second paragraph of this post! Seriously, have I ever used a thesaurus?) who even cares about what I have to say? (Hi mom!) My life isn’t as cool as it used to be 4 years ago when I lived in a developing country, spoke another language 24/7 and had no indoor plumbing. And of course I get insecure when I think about talking to women about their health? Who wants to listen to me? I am far from having the perfect body, balanced hormones, and an all clean GMO free, organic, solar powered, super productive life. But hey, we are all in this together. And I pray that as I walk this journey of life that I do it giving grace and living under the grace that my Heavenly Father has given me.

So that’s my brief update about life. Hopefully, if all goes as planned, I’ll keep up with the blog and you’ll hear more about my job, my life, my marriage, the food I’m eating, the yoga pose I’m working on, and maybe how I decorated my mantle for Fall.

******

Progress!!!! This is the first time I've pushed the "Publish" button since January of 2012, and even that was basically a re-blog of an old post. This is kinda the first original post since I blogged regularly in 2011, but I made progress I hit that "publish" button!

Thankful Thursdays

Three things I’m thankful for Thursday.

Thankfulness is something that I think everyone can use more of. Especially me. I have so much to be thankful for, but I don’t always take the time to sit and think about it. I saw a sign the other day that said, “What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday.”  Many people save their thankfulness for November around Thanksgiving, but I’ve decided to take some time out of every week to thank God for His gifts, whether big or small. Significant, or insignificant.

I must admit. The “Three Things I’m Thankful for” Theme is not a totally original idea. One of my best friends, and roommate of 3 years started it. Except her “Three things” is on Monday. So I’m giving Kylie the credit for the idea! You should check out her blog, "Polka Dotted Days" too! (For real, check it out. She's super funny!)

Last Wednesday night, as I was laying in bed and throwing myself a little pity party, I decided to snap out of it and be thankful! And so was born, the weekly ....

(...Except, at the time I didn't have internet, so I'm just now posting it... I'll work on getting it on the right day!)

1.       These guys! Gersan and Betty Valcin are my other set of parents. They have truly been such a blessing this past year, and have been so wonderful to do ministry with. Gersan is the optimist I hope to be one day, and Betty is full of wisdom and truth. I’m honored that they call me their other daughter, and I’m so blessed by their hearts!

2. Electric tennis racquets. (Ok, I didn’t say each of the things I’m thankful for were going to be earth shattering…)These things are a for-real, a lifesaver though. They provide an effective way to kill mosquitoes, and make it a fun sport, all at the same time. I am not as effective as some people with the racquets, as is evidenced by my thoroughly  bitten legs, arms, and face. Betty could totally give Venus and Serena a run for their money with her mosquito killing tennis skills though.  (please ignore the crazy eyes and the bad web-cam quality photo)

3.    God’s plan. Through many tears last night I thanked God for His perfect plan. I am back, or rather, still in the land of Inbetween. But I’m so thankful that I can remind myself “all things work together for good to them that love the Lord.” That God has got whatever is going on in my life under control and He knows what’s coming even though I don’t.  I’m thankful for His plan. I’m thankful I can trust Him. And as much as I fight and cry and wish sometimes, I am thankful He’s in charge.

...And so begins the Thankful Thursdays! Thanks for the inspiration, Kylie!

M'ap Vini

I don't really know where to begin.... My heart is all over the place.

I have been intentionally vauge on the blog recently. Maybe you haven't noticed, but I have. I have 3 blogs written in my head that I just haven't had the clarity of mind to sit and write. I have avoided posting, even avoided reading other peoples blogs, because when I write, everything tends to spill out reguardless of whether or not I wanted to give all the details. I have told a few friends that I feel like I'm teetering on the see-saw of insanity: One second I'm fine, peaceful, trusting God. The next I am the opposite of all those things. Its been fun, let me tell you!

Ok. so here goes....


I'm coming home on Thursday.
As in, day-after-tomorrow. Its still not super real to me. wow.


Before you worry...there is nothing desperately wrong. It is just time. Due to recent circumstances and thoughts of my heart, (which I have not shared because I've been blog-avoiding) I need to go home.

My family is so important to me. My family members are 5 of God's biggest blessings to me. I am who I am because of them. I talked to my brother today. He has decided to spend his life serving our country. I saw him in December before I left. He has been "stationed" in Tomball since March and I'm missing it. He will leave 16 days before was planning on getting home. Basically, we didn't know this until today, but if I don't see him now, I don't know when I will. In the next few years, maybe. This is important to me.

Also, since Wednesday I've been thinking about the future. All those doors that opened when nursing school closed, while they are awesome and I'm excited about them, will lead me far away again. It was beginning to look like I would be home for a week, at camp for 5 weeks, and then very very far away again until mid-August. Some people can be away from thier families for 8 months and not even think twice about it. I can't. I could physically survive. But it wouldn't be fun. I don't do well if I'm not being hugged by loved ones. (Have I mentioned that before?)

Another door that's opened since this round of nursing school comes in the form of a monstrosity of an application for a different program. This has a very small window of time that it will be open, and requires a lot of time and effort. I will be working on this when I get home and have a more reliable internet connection.

Mainly, I'm coming home to be with my family. They need me right now, and I need them. I think God called me to love the people of Ti Guinea in Haiti. But He did not call me to abandon my love for my family. Originally the plan was for me to come home in April, but as I got more confident that I would be in College Station at nursing school I extended my trip, assuming that I would see them because I would be close.

This was not an easy decision. I first thought, "What will everyone think of me?" I let the fear of men overcome my heart. Will people think I've quit? Will they think I just got too lonely? Will they think I'm not strong enough to do this? Will they want to support me in the future? Will they think I'm flakey? Will they understand the reasons I'm coming home? I hope you do understand. If not, please ask me!

Also, I'm not quitting. In fact, I'm coming back. I'm coming back on May 12. I'm going to spend 3 weeks at home soaking up and loving on my family. Then I will return on the 12 to set up and help run the camp that I've been helping plan. Also, after 3 weeks of English, I'll need to brush up on my Kreyol before I am translating! I'll be returning again on the flight I had already had tickets for on May 23. Also, many of the doors that opened will hopefully lead me back to Haiti and this place sooner than later.

I've talked about how bittersweet it is going to be to leave. Oh my! I had no idea! I was a total mess when I told my friends here that I was leaving. I was able to tell Boss Varis and only had misty eyes. I explained everything about Coleman, and how if I don't go home now, I may not see him for a long time. And I told him I was coming back. Everyone is fully supportive, both of me going to spend time with my brother, and of me coming back. After that, I told Tala and Tchaly. I got through, "I'm leaving Thursday" and then started sobbing. Boss Varis had to finish for me. I finally pulled it together. And then Guerline walked around the corner. Seeing my red eyes she asked, "Sa ou gen?" "what's going on"  I got no words out. Just sobbing. Boss Varis told her. All I could say over and over through my tears was, "M'ap vini anko! M'ap vini anko!" (I'm coming back! I'm coming back!) 

I don't know if crying is culturally weird here, or if I'm just super pathetic when I cry. Probably both. They just kept saying, "Don't cry, please don't cry. Stop crying. You are going to make us cry. Please don't cry. You are coming back! We aren't mad!" I just wow.... it was so hard telling them I was leaving. I'm going to miss them SO much. Even now I'm biting back tears thinking about missing them. I told them its so hard to love two places. I told them that I'm going to leave half of my heart here, and take half with me to give to my family. Guerline told me, "You need a bunch of hearts if you are going to keep them with everyone you love.".  Mission accomplished. My greatest goal of being here was to love somone. Even if it was just one person. Her saying that made me realize that she knew I love her. I just hugged her and cried.

Thinking about leaving in less than 36 hours... instead of 36 days. Is a strange feeling. .

I'm excited to see my family. I need to spend time with them before Coleman leaves. I will be be coming back. I could never leave like this if I didn't know when I was coming back, and know that it was going to be soon!

I think the hardest thing I will ever have to deal with in my life is also my greatest blessing. Loving two countries. Two peoples. God has loved me so much. His love through me makes this possible.

Not Selected...

This morning I spent some time dwelling on one of my favorite passages. I have clung to this so tightly so many times. And here we are, again. Clinging to God's faithfulness. Clinging to His love. Believing in His plan.

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD."
Lamentations 3:21-26

I just heard back from nursing school. "Thank you for your interest, but we regret to inform you that you were not selected for admission."
 
Not what I was expecting. I was upset, but not too upset. Texted my sister to have my parents call me. I picked up the phone:

"hello?"
"Hey honey"

Tears. I don't know why this always happens. I'll be fine until I hear my dad's voice. Then I just lose it. I think its because I know how much he cares. I know I can trust him. He is always fighting for my good. Always protects, always hopes, always loves. My father on earth is a lot like my Father in Heaven. I can trust them both with everything. But as smart as my daddy is, my God is all-knowing.

God knew this whole time. He knew before he laid the foundations of the world that this was going to happen.  He knew that I would end up applying to only one school, and throw away the other 3 applications I had started. He gave me peace that this was the right thing to do. He knows my future. I can trust Him. I was dissapointed for about 5 minutes.(I know, not very long) I wanted this so badly. But my first thought was, "Ok God. You've got this. I don't know what your plan is. But I trust you."  I know He is doing this for my good and for His glory. I just haven't seen the exciting parts yet.

I've clung to that passage in Lamentations so tightly, so many times over the last 6 years. I've spent more than one night crying myself to sleep and quoting that verse in my head. This morning I was overwhelmed by God's goodness to me. I couldn't believe how faithful He always is. He always follows through. His timing is so strange. So beautiful. This morning, while overwhelmed by blessings, I read this verse and thought about God's forever loving faithfulness. With that in mind its hard to see this rejection as a rejection, but more as millions of open doors.

I have no plans past July 3rd.
No plans whatsoever.

I've been here before. On December 11 of last year I found out I was moving to Haiti in 35 days. On December 11th I had plans for the next 8 days. 35 days later. I stepped off the plane in Port Au Prince. God is faithful.

Here I am again. I have no idea what I'll be doing on July 4th. (probably watching fireworks.... somewhere in the world) I know my God is faithful. He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion. (Phil 1:6)

I don't feel too rejected because the girl that I was 8 months ago when I applied is a totally different girl than I am now. She got rejected. Not me. She is dissapointed. Not me. She would look at me now and tell me I'm crazy. But I'm excited. One door closed. Millions have opened. Just 2 nights ago my mom said, "If you don't get into nursing school, which I'm sure you will, I have an idea for you." We'll see what God does. His ways are higher than mine.

I am so thankful that I serve a God who knows my heart fully. Who knows this was not the best for me. Who knows what IS the best for me. Who I can trust fully, with no exceptions. I am so thankful for the blessings He's given me this week, even the ones that seem to be dissapointing. I'll count it all joy.

Welcome back to the land of the Inbetween....

10 on Tuesday

So honestly today I forgot it was Tuesday. I had a friend remind me this morning, and then after chatting for a while I completely moved on and forgot about it being Tuesday. That being said, I didn't write this post in my head all day. So lets see if I can come up with 10 somethings on this Tuesday ok?

I'll start with the easy stuff.

1. Today I taught school. I didn't have school at the end of last week because of something. I know the Kreyol word. And it means that they didn't have school cancelled. I think it was some sort of teachers meeting, conference, get-together type deal. Anyway. So I have missed the last few days of school. Today I had school. Which is always an experience. We were learning simple things... Months of the year. But the exciting part was that the wind felt like it was blowing a million miles an hour (this particular "classroom" is under a canopy tent. not much shielded from the elements.) There were a few times I thought that I was going to have to catch the black board in case it flew backwards. Then the wind would shift leaving me feeling like I needed to run for my life so I wouldn't get smashed by it falling on me. So that made months of the year interesting. When I asked what months and then what day their birthdays were in I discovered a little one with a birthday the day after my mom's. (He was less amused and excited than I was about this news. Oh well.)

2. This afternoon I tried to grab a nap at least 3 times and was unsucessful. That was a bummer. I could definitely have used one! But here we are. Its 7pm and now I feel fine, plenty of energy.... figures.

3. I saw Lelene today. Her leg is starting to look better. I feel weird saying that. It always looks bad. It always looks abnormal. But it seems to be starting to close up some. She told me that the nurse she has been going to for wound care has stopped washing it with betadine, and stopped applying antibiotic. She also has stopped washing it with soap and water. Its been over a week since this wound has been washed. It looked amazingly ok, but I urged and begged her to keep washing and keeping it clean. (We shall see. TIH.)

4. Today is the 40 day marker. I have 40 days left here. Wow. Ever time I talk or think about leaving that lump in the back of my throat appears. I don't want to miss these last 40 days. I don't think I will. I'm trying to soak up every second. Every person. Every relationship. I don't know when I will see these beautiful people again. That day is not promised to me. And that makes me sad. It makes me want to pack them all up and bring them home with me. (Lord knows, we have enough suitcases in the depot to hold everyone!) I pray that I will see them again. Just thinking about not seeing them again makes my heart break a little, and it makes me a little nauseous. I don't know what the future holds. But I know who does, and I know He is so very good. (and, lets face it, He's a way better planner than me!) Leaving is going to be so bittersweet.

5. Not only am I trying to invest my time with people here, but also with my Savior. I've had so many, many hard moments these past few weeks. God has used those times when I'm alone. He's called me to His word and whispered peace and hope to my soul. Sitting in the middle of God's creation and looking at all that He's made and then thinking that He is even concerned with me, much less gave His Son for me so that I may be allowed to enjoy Him forever. wow. I figured that I would get a lot of quality God time when I moved away from everyone and everything familiar to live with people I didn't know or understand, but I had no idea how fun and wonderful it would be!

6. Today is the 40 day marker. I only have 40 days until I am in the airport in Houston hugging my family, talking fast, and crying (lets be honest. We'll all know I'll be crying.) Leaving Haiti will be bitter. Coming home will be oh so sweet! I can't wait to sit at the kitchen table and drink coffee with my mom. Or sit with my dad on the couch. Or stay up late with Hopie laughing and talking with her sitting on my bed while I'm pretending to sleep. Or catch up with Gracie on all that is going on in all the world. I will miss seeing Coleman by 17 days. But I'm sure a long phone conversation will be in order. I can't wait to spend the week between being home and going to camp soaking up life with my loved ones. I can't wait to have a telephone that always has signal and doesn't cost me an arm and leg to talk to people! I can't wait to see all my incredibly wonderful friends when I go up to College Station or at camp! I can't wait to sit in church on Sunday May 29th and feel "home." I'm sure that week will be full of happy, happy tears and lots of hugs! I can NOT wait.

7. I'm currently still waiting and praying about nursing school. I was confident I was going to hear a week ago. And every day between now and then. I was supossed to hear between mid March and mid April. If I'm not mistaken "mid April" is in 3 days. I talked to a friend that is in the school right now and she said she didn't find out until early May. And at that point she had been waitlisted. I don't know if I have the sanity to wait that long. But I've had the "God's timing is perfect" conversation about 43 times in the last 3 days. I have my plan. (And it is awesome, if I do say so myself!) But God has His. And so far He has a perfect track record of topping my plans. He also has a perfect track record of being incredibly faithful, incredibly good. Maybe I should accept that His timing is perfect. His plan is cosmic. He's got this world under control. He doesn't need my help.

8. On a lighter note. I sometimes joke around that I'm becoming a crazy island jungle lady. (Being the only one that you know on a tropical island will do that to you.) Today I almost went crazy island lady on a group of about 55 Haitians. Here's the story. Boss Varis, Guerline, Boss Tchaly, and I all went to town to buy gas and a few random supplies.
The vehicle I drive here is one of those old "Mark III" vans, with the lazy boy bucket seats, and curtains on the windows, and the high roof. You know the van I'm talking about? We all had a friend with that car. You wanted to ride with them on road trips because they laid the back seat into a bed AND they had a TV in thier car. Ok. So I drive one of those in Haiti. I want to go on record as saying I have never driven a car that is harder to manuver, or with more blind spots. Maybe I would make a horrible soccer mom. I don't know. Its not the size of the car that bothers me. I learned how to drive in a Ford F-250. I can handle big cars. This van is just..... the worst. 
(Phew. ok. van rant over. ready to move on? me too.)
So we go to the gas station. I draw a lot of attention when I go into town. I am a white, female driver. Not your typical everyday sight. Also, apparently the stereotype that women can't drive exists here too. (especially white women.) Long story short. I ended up with about 10 men standing around my car shouting things like, "Come forward! Go back! Turn left! Turn right! Gack! Forward! Stop! Go!" But they were yelling these things ALL at the same time and in kreyol. I got frustrated and declared loudly that I didn't understand what they wanted me to do. So 15 more men joined in to help. Perfect. Just what I need. 25 people yelling different orders at me in another language! We eventually got it all sorted out I got the stupid huge, dumb blind-spot van in the right place and we purchased that gas! (Whoop! Let's get OUT of here!) I also explained, in no uncertain terms, to Boss Varis that I never wanted that to happen again. Nothing makes me feel like a dumb white girl more than 25 people yelling conflicting commands in another language. And the other 30 people discussing how the white girl can't understand or drive (gas stations here are much more crowded than ones in america.) Needless to say. This was not the highlight of my day. But I did survive and make it out in one peice and only yelled minimal mean things in kreyol!

9. For those of you that only comment on blog posts involving frogs.... here you go. I had a frog in my house last night. I know. This is really not a big deal. I am not scared of frogs. But what I have come to realize is that I am scared of the unpredictability of frogs. If you leave them alone, they may just sit there and eath the mosquitoes, or they may jump in your bed and make it all slimy. Either way. There was a frog in my house. Not a dry warty one that moves slow. A sleek, green-brown, slimy one...with an impressive jump range. Anyway. I went through many scenarios.
1. Shoo him out? (and risk him jumping around and hiding.)
2. Smash him? (this is typically what the Haitians do. but I try to avoid amphibian guts when possible.)
3. Electrocute him with my suprisingly powerful mosquito raquet? (this got a few votes from people who were supporting me through this hazard on skype, but I decided against it.)
4. Allow him to co-habitate and hope that he eats mosquitoes and does not make my bed slimy.

I eventually opted for option 4. Jumping frogs are just too risky. Eventually he made the mistake of coming into the open on the floor. I captured him in a random cup that I had, but then I got distracted and forgot about him until this morning. By that time he had given up on life.  Poor froggie, I didn't mean to kill you.

10. I really think I should be exempt from writing a tenth fact. numbers 8 and 9 were long drawn out stories with way more details than necessary. Sorry. Also, I think I might develop carpal tunnel syndrome from typing too much. I think I may take bets on who thinks I'll start showing symptoms... this could be a fun game. Let me know what you think.



Happy Tuesday everyone!

The Inbetween

I've tried to write an intro to this post 3 times now and failed. I'm not sure how to articulate the way I'm feeling right now.

I'm back in the Land of Inbetween. I used to call it the "Rollercoaster of Life", but this is so much more beautifully put.

A friend of mine posted it on her blog a while back and it touched my heart.

***************

(from Deeper Walk, a Relevant Devotional Series)

italics and bolds added my myself.

There's a place between here and there. A piece of ground in the middle of take-off and landing. A section of the unknown within beginning and ending. You probably find yourself there from time to time. It's the land known as Inbetween.


Inbetween is one of the most rugged places in life. You aren't fully here, and you aren't fully there. Your emotions and hopes are strewn across an endless list of possibilities. Door knobs of wood, brass, and silver line the path, but which will open? In the land of Inbetween, the paths are lined with sealed envelopes and foggy dreams. Excitement runs forward and fears hold back. And if you stay long enough, you feel the tremors of your soul.


The land of Inbetween is downright scary. It's a place of blind trust. It's where the pedals of faith meet the narrow road of fortitude and where movement is demanded though there's no place to go. The worst part of this land isn't the uncertainty or frustration that accompany it - it's that God likes it when you're there.


While He's no sadist, God loves the land of Inbetween. He loves what it does to us. He loves the humility and dependence it creates in our hearts, so He creates innumerable forks in life's road that swerve us into the land of Inbetween. The unknowns of job, marriage, children, and home are the signs of this uncertain land. At times, people are thrust into Inbetween by mishaps, accidents, sudden deaths, and even unexpected fortune. Some people visit so many times they begin to wonder if it's life. And they aren't far off.


So what will hold you steady when you walk through the terrain of Inbetween? A recognition that Inbetween is God's design. In one miraculous moment, the Creator of the universe placed you in the greatest Inbetween of all time - the place between the earthly creation and eternity. Life's smaller lunges forward and backward are merely postcard reminders that there's something greater than this place we're visiting.


If you're in your own land of Inbetween, remember that God was the original designer of this journey. You can get mad, scream, and even pout if you want. But it doesn't change the fact that you're merely passing through. Everything else is Inbetween.

******************

Praise the One who knows my future. Who keeps it safe. And who makes me trust Him.

10 on Tuesday

Well friends its been a while since I've gotten a 10 on Tuesday in (especially on a Tuesday!) I had a small panicked moment last night, but then I realized it was only Monday! Unfortunately my picture capabilities are still pretty spotty, so we're back to random facts and word pictures.

Today is going to be 10 on Tuesday: Current Events addition. Meaning these are 10 things that I am currently doing or thinking about.

1. I am currently in the middle of some spring cleaning and de-cluttering. After a fire ant attack a few nights ago I decided it ws high time to deep clean my house. I've been keeping it up ok, but today it was time for a good dusting, mopping, reorganizing. I'm not finished, but I'm already feeling less cluttered. If I had packing to do over again I probably would have left over half the things I brought at home. But hindsight is always 20/20 I hear.

2. The current temperature is very warm. Last week when Hudson and Daniel were here I got made fun of quite a bit for always wearing hoodies at night. One night we slept out in the hammocks under the stars and I wore 2 pairs of socks, jeans, 1 short sleeved t-shirt, 1 long-sleeved t-shirt, 2 hoodies (with the hood up), and slept with my double fleece blanket and a thick sleeping bag and was comfortable. Last night, I slept with as little clothes as possible, a sheet for the mosquitos and the fan on high... I'm not sure what happened to the weather, but it got blazing hot overnight.

3. Currently getting very anxious and excited!! This morning when I woke up and Guerline told me she had eaten a mango!!!!! They aren't officially ready, but she found one good one. The mangos are about to be ripe and I couldn't be happier. I want to just sit and look at the tree outside my house until they ripen and then eat them all! (If you have a good mango recipe for jelly, jam, or anything else that will keep for a while. send it to me!! This also applies to guava and pinapple recipies!)

4. Currently looking forward to May. This morning I talked with my good friend, Caitlin and she purchased tickets to come visit in May!! She will be here the last week that I'm here and then fly home with me. I have already warned her that I might be a crying mess the whole way home (and the entire last week, but she still wanted to come. She's such a sweet friend!) I know Caitlin through my health classes at Texas A&M and she is such a beautiful blessing in my life. She will be starting Physician's Assistant school at University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston in June. (Thankfully she was an Aggie first, and is not too excited about wearing burnt orange, so that's good!)

5. Speaking of school I am currently on pins and needles waiting to hear from the college of nursing at the Texas A&M Health Science Center. I had been thinking I was going to be notified online, but it turns out that they only accept people through snail mail. I don't check the mail regularly when I am home, unless I am waiting for this type of thing. At this point I should be hearing any day... errr at least by the end of April. Every time my mom gets on skype I get a little bit nervous, but so far, no word. I'll keep you updated though!

6. I currently have 55 days left in Haiti. My how the time has flown! I bought my plane tickets home about a week ago. I'm not ready to leave yet, but those conversations have started coming up.  People here are saying, "When you leave in May, when are you coming back?" That's a hard question to answer. I don't know. The whole village knows the theoretical plan though... One day I'll come back. I'll live on the mountain. My husband will build a house for our family. I'll have white and black kids. I'll make peanut butter and my kids will make cassava while my husband builds our house. I'll have a clinic, and my husband will do whatever he is good at (which will probably be everything), and then in the evenings we will all sit in our hammocks on the porch and look out over the valley. The peanut butter and cassava thing has become a big joke, so when they ask when I'm coming back, sometimes its easier to joke around about my future home, than to seriously tell them that I don't know. Maybe 2 years? Maybe more? I talked with Guerline last night about a girl that came from Canada a few years ago. Guerline feels like she has forgotten about her. I tried to reassure her that I will never forget about her or anyone here in this village. I'll forever carry Ti Guniea in my heart. At the same time as I am dreading leaving Haiti I am getting excited to go back to the States. I am missing people there so much. I am SO greatful for my semi-reliable skype connection that keeps me sane, but I can't wait to be face to face with people instead of looking at their skype logo all the time! Also, I'm looking forward to non-important things like driving my own car on a "real road", wearing "real" clothes and looking human again, being able to understand exactly what everyone is saying, not just the main idea. But I will miss my friends here,  I will miss holding thier babies, and laughing at jokes I don't get. I've said this before, but its so very hard to live in two countries at once, and even harder to explain it to others!

7. I'm currently thinking about and wondering how my medical patients are going to be when I leave. And how much I wish I knew more to help them. In my head, I want to get all the medical cases wrapped up and healed before I leave, so their books will be closed... but I know in the possible two years that I will be gone more things will happen, more people will get hurt. I Pwish I could care for them all. I wish I knew how to care for them all. But I don't. Its become so very evident to me how important it is going to be for me to go back to school and actually learn how to better help these people. I'm so thankful for the progress I have made with them though. Some are taking longer than others to heal how I want them to, but its hard to put a time limit on these things.

8. I currently should be writing about 6 emails. I wrote two of them last night and then my internet died and lost my message. TIH I guess. As soon as I finish this blog I'm going to get back to work....

9. Currently thanking my Savior for being so gracious and faithful to me. I have been blessed beyond measure both with things material and immaterial. I have super great friends who are daily encouragements to me. God is so great. So loving. So faithful. I was feeling low this weekend. It was the first time in my life I've been homesick. I didn't know what to do with myself. God provided friends (and a mom) who don't roll thier eyes when I complain or get annoyed when I cry. I am so thankful for the text and skype hugs I got this weekend. Monday dawned and the sun was out! I spent time yesterday just sitting with my friends, and feeling normal again. Thank you Jesus for all your blessings!

10. Currently listening to the windmill as it is spinning along. For those of you that don't know the windmill saga, I will spare you all the gory details, but today we had a victory! The light on the battery is GREEN! Not only is it working, but it has already worked! Praise God for His beautiful nature. He has given us gorgeous mountains in our backyard, with wind we can harness and use for power. He has given us mangos and guava for food, and His beautiful creation just because he loves us! Thank the Lord for the wind and the windmill that is saving us tons of gas money!

40 on Friday (part 1)

Ok. I feel like a total blogging failure. We are more than halfway through March and I have blogged only twice. In my defense, I have had more internet problems than I care to go into or relive right now. I’m currently writing this post in Microsoft Word hoping that by the time I finish my internet will have loaded the blogger page. I have written numerous blogs in my head and started a few on the computer, so maybe someday I’ll catch up. Today I decided since I have missed two 10 on Tuesdays and numerous other blogs I have decided to introduce this a blue moon special, “40 on Friday.” So here goes… This is all the fun you have missed! This will be a 2 part blog. (it actually was going to be the 10 on Tuesday, but the internet didn’t work… then it was going to be the 30 on Thursday, but again… internet troubles. So here goes part 1 of 2 in the 40 on Friday.

1. On Friday, March 4th we had almost 100 people here at camp for the retreat. They stayed until Wednesday, March 9th and, I believe had a lot of fun. Remember, my job was to find and secure beds for all of them? Yeah, I was planning on having 46 people and then found out there were 81 coming… which quickly turned into almost 100. Needless to say, it was a stressful few hours/days for me. The camp went well overall. It was full of challenges though. The staff of the camp was not open to using our program or hearing our suggestions. I think it was a little frustrating for all of us. Finally, on Monday, they asked for help and after that camp went great. We got to do our activities and play some camp games, as well as have a really special time of campfire. Overall, God was glorified, which is always a victory.



2. We had a few days of rest and then Daniel Frantz and Hudson Stone arrived from Texas on Saturday, March 12 to spend spring break here at Jacob’s Well and get some work projects done. It has been so refreshing for them to be here. After the crazy week with camp and the stress of having 100ish people on our campsite, I needed a change of pace.



3. This past weekend marked the midway point of my trip. That brings up a lot of emotions and thoughts, both sad and happy. Its almost impossible to believe that I have been here for two and a half months already, in some ways it feels like it has flown by. In other ways it seems like its been a long, long time. I have learned so much. It has been so different than I was expecting, but in a lot of ways exactly what I expected. I have accomplished some of my goals for being here and that is so encouraging, but in some ways I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything at all.



4. This past weekend also marked the year and 2 month anniversary of the earthquake here in Haiti. I have done a lot of thinking and praying about it. God has done an incredible amount of healing in my heart and mind over the past year. I am, at times completely overwhelmed by his total faithfulness to me. It has not been an easy year, but I have been far from alone.



5. Its mid March. This means we are entering the phase where I will be hearing about an acceptance decision from the Nursing department at Texas A&M Health Science Center. As much as I am loving not having school this semester and not having to worry about tests and homework, I am starting to get excited about going to school again. I am learning so much here, but a lot of it is learning what great need there is. I’ve mentioned Christina (the baby with the burns) and Lèlène (with the motorcycle accident), and this week I have added a few more patients to my list. I am so glad that I have been able to be here to help them, but every day I see the need to go back to Nursing school. I’m praying (and you can too!!) that I will get accepted to the Nursing school in College Station at the Health Science Center. Due to various circumstances that occurred last minute, I ended up only applying to this one school. I very strongly feel that this is where the Lord wants me, but then again… God is sometimes so full of unexpected surprises.



6. Speaking of new patients… My newest patient is the tiniest little man in the village. He’s so adorable. But don’t be fooled. He is THE toughest guy in the village. Maybe it comes with being small. Gersan told me he has a reputation for running Americans out of the village. He has always been anti-American presence here and doesn’t appreciate us. On Monday he was doing something and fell on his machete. Thankfully he only sliced his hand, but it is a pretty serious cut. Guess who he came to for help? Me. I was able to help bandage and clean his wound and he has come back every day since. Remember how I said he was the toughest guy in the village? If you saw this guy’s hand you would know. He has calluses equal to those on my feet. He watched me clean and dig grass and dirt out of the flesh in his hand without so much as a flinch. It would be great if he could get stitches in this hand, but I don’t have access to them and I know he won’t go to the hospital. Today Daniel and I put some butterfly closures on the most serious parts. I’m very optimistic about the way its going to heal, its already looking good and staying infection free. Did I mention he is the most adorable man ever? The man is probably 4 feet and 7 inches tall and super tough, but so cute. The first day he came with some family that brought him. I asked him his age and he honestly had no idea. Today he came all alone, knowing what Gersan told me about him and how he feels about white people I was interested to see how it was going to go. I walked up and asked him how he was doing. He launched into telling me about his family and his wife and kids and his life. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a match box and took out a tiny piece of paper with, “74” written on it. He handed me the paper telling me he found out how old he was. I can’t wait to see how his hand heals, and maybe continue to change his view of Americans.



7. Since Daniel and Hudson have been here we have been able to get a lot done here around camp. In the states, Hudson is a Petroleum Engineering student at Texas A&M (whoop!) and indoor soccer lover. Daniel is a Biology/Psych student at DBU and a barista at a local coffee shop in Dallas. When they are here in Haiti they become our “professional consultants” on all things plumbing, construction, maintenance, etc. So far they have installed a new hot water heater, built and roofed a house or two, laid pipe for a main water line, fixed the plumbing issues in the kitchen and consulted on numerous future projects here around camp. Its only been a few days and we have gotten so much done.



8. We received word last week that we had an anonymous donor that donated enough money for us to finish our cistern. We are going to be starting work on our cistern very soon. The hardest part of hosting groups here is our lack of water. Without a cistern we are very hard pressed to provide water for our teams. Praise God for His provision.



9. I have almost finished the child sponsorship program for the school. Please be praying for me as I try to finish preparing and try to start this program. It would be such a wonderful opportunity to be able to provide the village with a better opportunity to have some education. This program will give the parents an opportunity to send their children to school, but will give them a sense of ownership and give them opportunities to get involved in their children’s life and education.



10. As I mentioned before my two friends Daniel and Hudson are here doing work and bringing some sanity and English conversation into my life. Its been such a blast hanging out with these two guys and even though we are working we are having loads of fun. Because they are here I’m going to take advantage of them for a second and have them help me write this post.



Thanks for having patience with me (or really my internet). I’m going to be doing the best I can and praying for God to work a miracle and make it move faster than frozen molasses.




Meet Daniel Frantz:
I first experienced Haiti, and Jacob’s Well January of 2010. As a part of the FC team that left the island about 40 hrs before the quake. Back then Jacobs well had one building, a bathroom/storage depot, but as Matt Raines would say, if you have good staff, a field and a ball you can have camp. That is what Jacobs Well used to be, today it is unrecognizable from just a little over a year ago. God has blessed this land, and the ministry of Jacob’s Well. And I thank Him for letting me see His hands at work here.

1. The spring break trip – Hudson and I were here with the last trip, Haiti 6, and both decided we would love to come back, and the Lord blesses us by granting that wish. As Noelle has said getting things done in this country can be difficult to say the least, and traveling is rarely an exception. We had to leave the states on Friday, meaning an overnight layover and almost 24 hrs total travel time from departure to arrival at JW. We spent a pretty good amount of time wondering if our bags would make it all the way to PAP or weather we would be picked up from the airport. But God is good and after a tiring day of travel we arrived in CAP and were warmly greeted by Noelle, Betty, Gersan, and Bos Varis (and a Toro!) Home sweet home.

2. This is my fourth time to come to JW since Jan 2010, I am always astounded by God’s glory as the camp continues to expand. Yet, as much growth as there has been, the plan for the future dwarfs its current state. I cannot wait to see how the Lord will bless JW and pray I will be allowed to be a part of the growth.

The following are some of the newest additions to Jacob’s Well.

3. The windmill, after some stressful moments regarding the mill, it seems to be an amazing tool and will hopefully save a ton of money on gas for the generator.

4. New plumbing, an ongoing process, we are in the process of running a new main line that will provide a more reliable water source for the time being. Improving the current “cistern” (two cubic meter water tanks), repairing leaking drains on the kitchen sinks, and hopefully repairing a drainage problem at the shower house.

5. New water heater (well old heater new installment) it is quite an expensive propane powered, heat-as-you-go heater, and has been sitting in the depot for at least a year now (the current heater is a standard 40 gallon electric heater). We haven’t purchased the propane yet but hope to have it running within the next few days. Switching to propane will also lighten the load on the generator and reduce the amount of electricity needed to run camp.

6. Cabins, we are helping finish the last of the two rooms cabins and put up two more one room style cabins (same style as Tancred’s new house that was finished today! Noelle is planning on posting pictures when the internet isn’t as big of a disappointment).

7. A few days after we arrived we were introduced to an amazing new trail to the “upstairs” that is much better than the old ankle breaking path.

8. Another beautiful addition is the Jacob’s Well mosaic. It used to be a gravel platform used as a meeting/eating area in the past (and under where the Haiti 6 interns, Jack, Greta and myself hung our hammocks).

9. One thing Hudson and I were able to do is bring some new tools to Jacob’s Well (thanks to “the Man” Richard Stephens for buying/providing them!) Some of the tools we brought include a stellar Dewalt Table saw which I have yet to use, but hope to work on a few projects with Bos Tchaly and get some use out of it. We also brought Tchaly a new tool belt, every carpenter of his skill needs a good tool belt, and some seeds for Guerline’s garden.

10. Finally, another item we brought with us were mouse/rat traps (they deserve their own number). When I was here with the other interns over Christmas break Greta and I saw a massive rat in the depot, and Noelle has seen a few herself recently so I figured we could put an end to these rodent shenanigans. So far the traps have been set for a little over 24 hrs and the body count thus far is 4. Three of the slain were rats and one mouse, but we’re hoping to kill off a lot more before we leave (and Noelle will then have to empty and re-load the traps, she doesn’t seem thrilled to do that)


... stay tuned for part 2.

He's SO good to me!

Sometimes God really blows my mind. Sometimes it doesn't take much for Him to do it. And then I realize that I don't give Him enough credit for being God. I mean, being God is no small responsibility.

So here's what happened today that made me praise my King.

Actually, I'll come back to that.
First... let me tell you about yesterday.

So yesterday I was finishing the last peice of my nursing application. It comes in two parts, if you pass the first part you get the second, and then they tell you if you are in or if you are out. This was the last peice of the second part. Yes I let it hang over my head for this long. Not smart, I know. So this last part of the application is the triple check that I have all my prerequisite classes.... I'll spare you all the gory details and summarize it for you... I realize that I'm MISSING a prereq. Panicked. Panicked some more. Had a minor breakdown on skype with my friend that understands what a pain applications can be. Realized that I had already submitted the part of the application that says I'm not planning on taking classes before nursing school starts. Which disqualifies me from... well everything. The night ended and the best case scenario in my head was that I come home early from Haiti and take a mini-mester of a silly class before nursing school... IF I got accepted, IF I could somehow indicate that I was going to take this class...

It was all very complicated. And I was very dissapointed. This meant that it was very possible that after May 23 I had ZERO plans, I wouldn't be able to be roommies with my long-time roomie and best friend as she planned her beautiful wedding, I wouldn't be able to be in College Station with many of my other friends. I would have no job. I would have no future. etc etc etc.

This led to me considering what God was doing in this situation. He knew before the foundations of the world that I would be having this crisis at this time. He planned for it to happen. He was going to use it for His glory. Maybe I should be considering what He was trying to say. Was it, "Nursing school is not your thing." or, "Try again later." or, "You should look into so-and-so career." or, "Just trust me.... And for heaven's sake please stop freaking out about everything, you psycho!"

I went to bed feeling somewhat dissapointed, but knowing it would work out in the long run.

Ok, back to today...

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "Your speech class fulfills the requirement for English that you are missing so you are good!!" WHOOP!!!! Praise the Lord!

I had a few follow up questions, so I decided to call the school myself just to be absolutely sure. I'll paraphrase our conversation... "Yes, she is correct. You are all set on prerequisites. And because your mom told me that your iternet is sketchy I went ahead and filled out the rest of your prerequisites on the form and submitted the application for you. So you are all set and don't have to worry about a thing!" (I LOVE this girl! I say girl because she must be young and hip-happenin' to say 'sketchy'.)

God had it all worked out. There was no reason whatsoever to panic. There never is. God is God and He is good! This was a very small thing, but it reminded me of how Faithful He is.

Taste and see that the Lord is good! Psalm 34:8

The Never Ending Rollercoaster...

 Matthew 6: 25-27;33-34... ²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? ...³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Romans 8:28  " ²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Meditating on these verses today. And trying not to worry. He knows my future. Even when it feels like a never-ending bad roller coaster.

Prayer and support needs

Some of you have generously asked how you can help support me either through prayer or finances and so I have put together this letter to more accurately describe what my purpose is going to be in Haiti and what things I will be needing for my time there. 

Thank you for your prayers and generous support!

Dear Friends, 

For the next 5 months I’ll be living and working in the small rural village of Little Guinea, near the northern coast of Haiti.  This will be my fourth time to go to Little Guinea with a group from Frontier Camp, planting a children’s camp, Jacob’s Well. Haitian Pastor Gersan Valcin and his wife Betty partnered with Frontier Camp, establishing Jacob’s Well as the first phase of community development for Little Guinea. Since the start of Jacob’s Well Camp in 2006, a church has been planted, and in the fall of 2010 a school opened, which meets in the church building.

Pastor Valcin grew up in Little Guinea, under the darkness of the voodoo religion until he was led to Christ by a missionary doctor. After being educated in the states at Dallas Theological Seminary, Gersan returned to Haiti, and he pastors a large Protestant Evangelical church in Port au Prince. Pastor Valcin has planted over 70 other churches in rural areas of Haiti. He and Frontier Camp have partnered to make Jacob’s Well a large-scale community development project with long-term plans for a permanent school, clinic, orphanage, and camp/retreat center. Jacob’s Well has already created jobs for many Haitians in construction and security as the compound has grown. More importantly, the light of Christ has come to this area and many have been saved. The lives and futures of those in the village and surrounding area have been forever changed by this ministry. 

The Valcins have asked me to serve full-time at Jacob’s Well this spring, while they are based in Port au Prince. While I am in Little Guinea, I will have three main objectives: teaching English in the upper grades of the school; educating the women in the community about health and hygiene topics, including Cholera prevention; and, providing first aid and other minor medical care and education to the village and in the surrounding areas. A local young woman will live at Jacob’s Well with me, and the local elders and their families will be responsible for my security.

I hope you will consider helping me in any way you feel led. These are a few of the Jacob’s Well Camp and Little Guinea  financial needs: 

·                     Child sponsorship: $30/month for one child’s full education or $360/year (300 kids total)

·                     8 rechargeable batteries for the compound generator at $135 each

·                     4  flood lamps for the compound at $50 each

·                     Wire for the fence- 10 bales at $25 each

·                     Internet access at the camp for 5 months at $90/month

·                     $300 for wood to use in construction projects

·                     A 50,000 gal cistern for water at $2,000.

·                     My personal expenses $2,000

·                     Haitian Kreyol Bibles= $5 each (We can always use those!)

 ·     

I would be blessed by anything that you may find yourself able to give, especially prayer support! Some of my prayer requests include:

·         Wisdom as I prepare to embark on this journey and live in Little Guinea

·         Love for the people I am with and that I may share Christ’s love with them

·         Clarity of communication as I am immersed in the Kreyol language

·         Health and safety from Cholera and any other sickness or danger

If you would like to donate, you can do so online at www.frontiercamp.org or by mail to: Frontier Camp, 131 Frontier Camp Road, Grapeland, TX 75844. Please note “Noelle González-Haiti” in the memo line.

Please continue to check back here for updates from me concerning my work and prayer needs:  

Thank you for your support!