Thankful Thursdays

Three things I’m thankful for Thursday.

Thankfulness is something that I think everyone can use more of. Especially me. I have so much to be thankful for, but I don’t always take the time to sit and think about it. I saw a sign the other day that said, “What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday.”  Many people save their thankfulness for November around Thanksgiving, but I’ve decided to take some time out of every week to thank God for His gifts, whether big or small. Significant, or insignificant.

I must admit. The “Three Things I’m Thankful for” Theme is not a totally original idea. One of my best friends, and roommate of 3 years started it. Except her “Three things” is on Monday. So I’m giving Kylie the credit for the idea! You should check out her blog, "Polka Dotted Days" too! (For real, check it out. She's super funny!)

Last Wednesday night, as I was laying in bed and throwing myself a little pity party, I decided to snap out of it and be thankful! And so was born, the weekly ....

(...Except, at the time I didn't have internet, so I'm just now posting it... I'll work on getting it on the right day!)

1.       These guys! Gersan and Betty Valcin are my other set of parents. They have truly been such a blessing this past year, and have been so wonderful to do ministry with. Gersan is the optimist I hope to be one day, and Betty is full of wisdom and truth. I’m honored that they call me their other daughter, and I’m so blessed by their hearts!

2. Electric tennis racquets. (Ok, I didn’t say each of the things I’m thankful for were going to be earth shattering…)These things are a for-real, a lifesaver though. They provide an effective way to kill mosquitoes, and make it a fun sport, all at the same time. I am not as effective as some people with the racquets, as is evidenced by my thoroughly  bitten legs, arms, and face. Betty could totally give Venus and Serena a run for their money with her mosquito killing tennis skills though.  (please ignore the crazy eyes and the bad web-cam quality photo)

3.    God’s plan. Through many tears last night I thanked God for His perfect plan. I am back, or rather, still in the land of Inbetween. But I’m so thankful that I can remind myself “all things work together for good to them that love the Lord.” That God has got whatever is going on in my life under control and He knows what’s coming even though I don’t.  I’m thankful for His plan. I’m thankful I can trust Him. And as much as I fight and cry and wish sometimes, I am thankful He’s in charge.

...And so begins the Thankful Thursdays! Thanks for the inspiration, Kylie!

Not Selected...

This morning I spent some time dwelling on one of my favorite passages. I have clung to this so tightly so many times. And here we are, again. Clinging to God's faithfulness. Clinging to His love. Believing in His plan.

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD."
Lamentations 3:21-26

I just heard back from nursing school. "Thank you for your interest, but we regret to inform you that you were not selected for admission."
 
Not what I was expecting. I was upset, but not too upset. Texted my sister to have my parents call me. I picked up the phone:

"hello?"
"Hey honey"

Tears. I don't know why this always happens. I'll be fine until I hear my dad's voice. Then I just lose it. I think its because I know how much he cares. I know I can trust him. He is always fighting for my good. Always protects, always hopes, always loves. My father on earth is a lot like my Father in Heaven. I can trust them both with everything. But as smart as my daddy is, my God is all-knowing.

God knew this whole time. He knew before he laid the foundations of the world that this was going to happen.  He knew that I would end up applying to only one school, and throw away the other 3 applications I had started. He gave me peace that this was the right thing to do. He knows my future. I can trust Him. I was dissapointed for about 5 minutes.(I know, not very long) I wanted this so badly. But my first thought was, "Ok God. You've got this. I don't know what your plan is. But I trust you."  I know He is doing this for my good and for His glory. I just haven't seen the exciting parts yet.

I've clung to that passage in Lamentations so tightly, so many times over the last 6 years. I've spent more than one night crying myself to sleep and quoting that verse in my head. This morning I was overwhelmed by God's goodness to me. I couldn't believe how faithful He always is. He always follows through. His timing is so strange. So beautiful. This morning, while overwhelmed by blessings, I read this verse and thought about God's forever loving faithfulness. With that in mind its hard to see this rejection as a rejection, but more as millions of open doors.

I have no plans past July 3rd.
No plans whatsoever.

I've been here before. On December 11 of last year I found out I was moving to Haiti in 35 days. On December 11th I had plans for the next 8 days. 35 days later. I stepped off the plane in Port Au Prince. God is faithful.

Here I am again. I have no idea what I'll be doing on July 4th. (probably watching fireworks.... somewhere in the world) I know my God is faithful. He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion. (Phil 1:6)

I don't feel too rejected because the girl that I was 8 months ago when I applied is a totally different girl than I am now. She got rejected. Not me. She is dissapointed. Not me. She would look at me now and tell me I'm crazy. But I'm excited. One door closed. Millions have opened. Just 2 nights ago my mom said, "If you don't get into nursing school, which I'm sure you will, I have an idea for you." We'll see what God does. His ways are higher than mine.

I am so thankful that I serve a God who knows my heart fully. Who knows this was not the best for me. Who knows what IS the best for me. Who I can trust fully, with no exceptions. I am so thankful for the blessings He's given me this week, even the ones that seem to be dissapointing. I'll count it all joy.

Welcome back to the land of the Inbetween....

10 on Tuesday

Today is the 10 on Tuesday: Thankfulness edition.   (Its very long and wordy. But I am thankful for so much!)

Today God has opened my eyes to the beauty around me in Himself, in His people, and in His nature.

1. I'm sure you all have noticed, or I have told you how I've been missing home the past week or so. Its been hard. There have been times I wondered what possessed me to think I could do this for almost 5 months? I've cried. I've been upset. I've wanted to go home. As that was happening I began to lose my love for where I am and for the people I'm with. I started to only think about home. And at times, be upset with my decision to be here. Today. That is not the story. Beginning Saturday I started to feel more "here" than I had for about a week. Today, I feel totally here. Its been so wonderful. I had started to get nervous that I was going to spend the next 50 days counting down to coming home and not enjoying my time here. I am still looking forward to coming home, and I'm still missing people greatly, but I know the time will come to leave and I will be sad. I didn't want to leave with a bad taste in my mouth I wanted to spend the last two months I have here "ALL HERE" and that's how I feel today. Being all here has opened my eyes to many other of God's blessings that I had been missing. So, today I'm thankful for being 'here'.

2. Today I'm thankful for the mountains! I was walking to school today and looked up, I usually look down at the road because there are boulders, trash, animal excrement, and sometimes snakes that I like to avoid stepping on when I can. Today I looked up and was struck by the beauty. I truely live in the most beautiful place on earth! There is a huge gorgeous mountain in my back yard, an entire mountain range in my front yard, and river and hillside in my side yard. If I climb any of these hills I can see the whole valley. Lush, covered in trees bearing fruit like mangos, banannas, coconuts, among others. It is truely a gorgeous place. I had been missing it, so today I'm thankful for my eyes being opened to beauty.

3. I think a lot of my homesickness and feeling lonely was due to the fact that I have been doing a lot of work on my computer and haven't had the chance to go out in the village and visit with my friends. Even that short walk through the village is so special. I pass by the houses of those in the village and the children run out to say hello. The women look up from their washing clothes, or braiding hair, or whatever the chore of the afternoon is, and greet me. In recent months its not such a big deal for me to walk down the road. I've become somewhat normal. And I love that! I love that they know me. They know my schedule, and I'm just a part of their village. I walk by and have random coversations with the machans- street vendors. They make their food. The best I can describe it is little pillows full of a Haitian type of cole-slaw that are then deep fried to a golden brown. I've never tried one, but they look delicious. Some of them sell cold bottles of juice, or little crackers, or gum, or small bottles of rum, or shots of klere- homemade sugar cane liquor. Today I am thankful I got to walk through the village, have short conversations with my machan friends, and say hello to those walking down the road. Today I am thankful that they have accepted me into their village.

4. Today I'm thankful for my school kids. I haven't taught school with any regularity since my dad and Gracie were here visiting in early February and I think I missed it more than I realized. Teaching school here is always interesting. Every day is an adventure. Its easy to get discouraged, and in fact, that's what had happened, I felt like, I wasn't a good teacher, and even if I was I don't speak the language, and what is me teaching them English vocabulary going to do to help them? While its incredibly easy to get discouraged about teaching school here, I have realized its more about the relationships than anything else. Its not about them learning English, its about me spending time with them and pouring into their lives. The more time I spend here and the more I learn the more I realize that my ministry is about relationships. I'm not doing the health education in the same way I imagined, but I'm forming relationships. Maybe in the future I will be able to do so. But today, I'm thankful for my school kids. I'm thankful for them loving me. I'm thankful for thier smiles. I love my older class. They are so smart. I feel like they get it, and we can talk and goof off at the same time. Such a joy. The school kids are such a blessing. Thankful for them today.

5. I'm thankful for my weekend. This weekend I spent a lot of time in my hammock and reading books that have been in my little library, but I haven't gotten time to delve into. I relaxed, I napped, I spent time with Jesus. It was wonderful. On Sunday I went up to the mountain and had church with just me and God. I listened to podcasts of teaching from my church back home. It was so refreshing to sit in the sunshine and hear teaching from men who love Jesus and love to make much of him. (I think I even got a small tan in the process!) The sunshine and my "American" church refreshed my soul. So today I am thankful for my weekend, for the sunshine, and for the Savior who refreshes my heart.

6. I woke up this morning refreshed and feeling great! That is something to be thankful for in itself. I have never been one to dream much, or to remember my dreams when I do. I definitely don't have many scary dreams or nightmares. Until I came here. It seems like I dream every night. I can remember most of the dreams when I wake up, and many of them are very scary. In my time here I've woken myself up many times with little shrieks, from being afraid. Twice I've woken myself up laughing (I much prefer that). But today, I'm thankful for two consecutive nights of sweet sleep, and minimal dreaming. And when I did dream they were 'sweet dreams'. Today I'm thankful for rest.

7. Today I'm thankful for good mommys. On my way home from school I stopped by one of my favorite houses. I have to walk right by anyway and they are always in the yard, so I stopped by to say hello. This lady blessed me today. She always has a million kids all over her and in her yard. I don't know how many of them are her's, but I think she has at least 3 between the ages of 8 and 3. I have alway felt like she is a good mom, she just gives off that vibe. (Did I mention that she's beautiful? She is.) She's a little older, but wears her years well and shows the joy of those years in her face. Today I stopped by, and as she was helping one child get dressed she was helping her other little one learn how to read. I get the feeling that most of the adults in this village don't know how to read, and also that most moms don't help their children with homework. It blessed me to see this mother helping her little one to learn. So today, I'm thankful for mom's who care about their babies, and spend time making sure that they are getting the most from their education. (This includes my own dear, sweet, beautiful mom!)

8. I've been blessed recently in the food department. Until last week a woman named Janet came and made food for me. Her food was wonderful. After 3 months I'm still not sick of rice and beans. Its a miracle. But I'm still not sick of it. Last week I got a new cook. This lady is Tchaly's sister. She makes food for the orphans in the hospital in Limbe. She also used to make food for the American doctors who worked and lived here. She is straight from heaven. Her food is always an experience. Every bite is heavenly. Its also so spicy that it makes me reach for the water to put out the fire in my mouth, but the González in me really missed that. Anyway, after totally being blown away by her food I asked if she would teach me. So she's been teaching me how to make stellar Haitian food. I can't wait to try it when I get home!! So today I'm thankful for Madam Marcell and her willingness to help me be a better Haitian cook!

9. I'm thankful for silly moments when silly things happen and it makes me laugh. I was sitting here writing this post and heard Manfred Mann's song "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" in French. You know the song I'm talking about?
"There she was just a-walkin' down the street
Singin' Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do
Snappin' her fingers and shufflin' her feet
Singin' Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do
She looked good (looked good), she looked fine (looked fine)
She looked good, she looked fine and I nearly lost my mind"
I know you know the one. Anyway. Very funny and strange to hear it in French! So I'm thankful for weird moments that make me laugh.

10. Lastly, but not leastly.... I'm incredibly thankful for my friends. Both here and in the States. The ones in the states have listened to me complain and moan about how I miss home, how I miss them, etc. And they haven't complained (at least to my face.) In the past couple of days I have been so blessed. I've had wonderful, encouraging conversations with so many friends. I so much appreciate that I have friends that I can word vomit on. I'm thankful for friends that still ask me my opinion on everything, from heart issues, to haircuts. It is such a joy and a pleasure to know that I am not on this journey alone. I litterally could NOT ask for a better support group. So today I'm thankful for you! If you are reading this, I can't wait to give you a huge hug when I get home, and if we are lucky have a long chat over some coffee! Thank you for your prayers! Thank you for sharing your life with me. Even those of you who are strangers, I'm thankful for you! It blesses me to know that even people who I don't actually know are before God's throne praying for me. Thanking God for His provision of support and friendship.


I feel like I could write all day about things I'm thankful for. God has been so faithful. He always is. I can't wait to see what will happen in the next two months that I'm here. And I can't wait for you to journey with me!

10 on Tuesday

Well friends its been a while since I've gotten a 10 on Tuesday in (especially on a Tuesday!) I had a small panicked moment last night, but then I realized it was only Monday! Unfortunately my picture capabilities are still pretty spotty, so we're back to random facts and word pictures.

Today is going to be 10 on Tuesday: Current Events addition. Meaning these are 10 things that I am currently doing or thinking about.

1. I am currently in the middle of some spring cleaning and de-cluttering. After a fire ant attack a few nights ago I decided it ws high time to deep clean my house. I've been keeping it up ok, but today it was time for a good dusting, mopping, reorganizing. I'm not finished, but I'm already feeling less cluttered. If I had packing to do over again I probably would have left over half the things I brought at home. But hindsight is always 20/20 I hear.

2. The current temperature is very warm. Last week when Hudson and Daniel were here I got made fun of quite a bit for always wearing hoodies at night. One night we slept out in the hammocks under the stars and I wore 2 pairs of socks, jeans, 1 short sleeved t-shirt, 1 long-sleeved t-shirt, 2 hoodies (with the hood up), and slept with my double fleece blanket and a thick sleeping bag and was comfortable. Last night, I slept with as little clothes as possible, a sheet for the mosquitos and the fan on high... I'm not sure what happened to the weather, but it got blazing hot overnight.

3. Currently getting very anxious and excited!! This morning when I woke up and Guerline told me she had eaten a mango!!!!! They aren't officially ready, but she found one good one. The mangos are about to be ripe and I couldn't be happier. I want to just sit and look at the tree outside my house until they ripen and then eat them all! (If you have a good mango recipe for jelly, jam, or anything else that will keep for a while. send it to me!! This also applies to guava and pinapple recipies!)

4. Currently looking forward to May. This morning I talked with my good friend, Caitlin and she purchased tickets to come visit in May!! She will be here the last week that I'm here and then fly home with me. I have already warned her that I might be a crying mess the whole way home (and the entire last week, but she still wanted to come. She's such a sweet friend!) I know Caitlin through my health classes at Texas A&M and she is such a beautiful blessing in my life. She will be starting Physician's Assistant school at University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston in June. (Thankfully she was an Aggie first, and is not too excited about wearing burnt orange, so that's good!)

5. Speaking of school I am currently on pins and needles waiting to hear from the college of nursing at the Texas A&M Health Science Center. I had been thinking I was going to be notified online, but it turns out that they only accept people through snail mail. I don't check the mail regularly when I am home, unless I am waiting for this type of thing. At this point I should be hearing any day... errr at least by the end of April. Every time my mom gets on skype I get a little bit nervous, but so far, no word. I'll keep you updated though!

6. I currently have 55 days left in Haiti. My how the time has flown! I bought my plane tickets home about a week ago. I'm not ready to leave yet, but those conversations have started coming up.  People here are saying, "When you leave in May, when are you coming back?" That's a hard question to answer. I don't know. The whole village knows the theoretical plan though... One day I'll come back. I'll live on the mountain. My husband will build a house for our family. I'll have white and black kids. I'll make peanut butter and my kids will make cassava while my husband builds our house. I'll have a clinic, and my husband will do whatever he is good at (which will probably be everything), and then in the evenings we will all sit in our hammocks on the porch and look out over the valley. The peanut butter and cassava thing has become a big joke, so when they ask when I'm coming back, sometimes its easier to joke around about my future home, than to seriously tell them that I don't know. Maybe 2 years? Maybe more? I talked with Guerline last night about a girl that came from Canada a few years ago. Guerline feels like she has forgotten about her. I tried to reassure her that I will never forget about her or anyone here in this village. I'll forever carry Ti Guniea in my heart. At the same time as I am dreading leaving Haiti I am getting excited to go back to the States. I am missing people there so much. I am SO greatful for my semi-reliable skype connection that keeps me sane, but I can't wait to be face to face with people instead of looking at their skype logo all the time! Also, I'm looking forward to non-important things like driving my own car on a "real road", wearing "real" clothes and looking human again, being able to understand exactly what everyone is saying, not just the main idea. But I will miss my friends here,  I will miss holding thier babies, and laughing at jokes I don't get. I've said this before, but its so very hard to live in two countries at once, and even harder to explain it to others!

7. I'm currently thinking about and wondering how my medical patients are going to be when I leave. And how much I wish I knew more to help them. In my head, I want to get all the medical cases wrapped up and healed before I leave, so their books will be closed... but I know in the possible two years that I will be gone more things will happen, more people will get hurt. I Pwish I could care for them all. I wish I knew how to care for them all. But I don't. Its become so very evident to me how important it is going to be for me to go back to school and actually learn how to better help these people. I'm so thankful for the progress I have made with them though. Some are taking longer than others to heal how I want them to, but its hard to put a time limit on these things.

8. I currently should be writing about 6 emails. I wrote two of them last night and then my internet died and lost my message. TIH I guess. As soon as I finish this blog I'm going to get back to work....

9. Currently thanking my Savior for being so gracious and faithful to me. I have been blessed beyond measure both with things material and immaterial. I have super great friends who are daily encouragements to me. God is so great. So loving. So faithful. I was feeling low this weekend. It was the first time in my life I've been homesick. I didn't know what to do with myself. God provided friends (and a mom) who don't roll thier eyes when I complain or get annoyed when I cry. I am so thankful for the text and skype hugs I got this weekend. Monday dawned and the sun was out! I spent time yesterday just sitting with my friends, and feeling normal again. Thank you Jesus for all your blessings!

10. Currently listening to the windmill as it is spinning along. For those of you that don't know the windmill saga, I will spare you all the gory details, but today we had a victory! The light on the battery is GREEN! Not only is it working, but it has already worked! Praise God for His beautiful nature. He has given us gorgeous mountains in our backyard, with wind we can harness and use for power. He has given us mangos and guava for food, and His beautiful creation just because he loves us! Thank the Lord for the wind and the windmill that is saving us tons of gas money!

Beautiful in His Time

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end." (Eccl 3:11)

I'm kinda a sucker for beautiful things. Thankfully, I am living smack-dab in the middle of beauty right now. I have a mountain in my back yard and if I walk a little way I have a huge gorgeous valley in the front yard. I live among the most beautiful people I have ever met. I see the beauty around me and can't help but worship the Creator.

Not everything here is beautiful. There are very, very ugly things here. Satan and his hold on these people's hearts is ugly. Very Ugly.

The lack of, well, everything, food, shelter, and healthcare is ugly.
Or is it? Is it ugly? or is it Joy? Is He making it beautiful?

The lack of resources is not the main problem that this village has. It is the lack of Christ. The lack of freedom. Jesus came to seek and save that which was lost (Lk 19:10). But if we look at His life, he did more than that. He helped the poor and crippled. He healed the sick, and fed the hungry. If we are to be the body of Christ we are called to do those things too. He is making all this hurt beautiful in HIS time.

His time can be so different from mine sometimes, and as Solomon says, we cannot find out or understand what God is doing from beginning to end. But sometimes.... Sometimes, before the word leaves our lips, before we are even aware of our need He has provided.

On Friday night I was talking to Gersan and Betty about Tchaly. He is our carpenter here on campus. Always laughing, always singing, always joyful, always a total joy to be around. He works so hard. (He is also the one with the baby, who's burn I have been taking care of.) Gersan was talking about how he wishes he could pay Tchaly more for his hard work. And he could probably get a better paying job somewhere else, but God has a track record of blessing those who work here, and the money they earn. Some of these other people came from better paying jobs to work here, and have been offered other, better paying jobs, but they choose to stay, because they love working here and because God is blessing them for that.

Gersan told me about Tchaly's house. He described it as only a tiny step up from Tancred's house that I wrote about earlier. Tchaly has been saving and saving, but will probably never be able to finish building his house. Gersan said, "I want to give him a house, but that would cost around $2000 USD and we just don't have that right now."

Immediately, my heart leaped! $2000!!!!
I had gotten a text message from my mom that afternoon that Redeemer Bible Church, my home church in Tomball wanted to give $2000 to us to use however we like. I hadn't told Gersan and Betty this yet, but felt this was a good time.

God is so good. Without them even knowing it, He put that amount on the hearts of the Redeemer leaders, on the day that Gersan mentioned wanting to use that amount for a house!

God is making this beautiful! It has already been made beautiful, but He is letting us glimpse the beauty!

God is using Jacob's Well here in this village to change the mentality of people here. After giving Tancred a house, and taking care of  Lèlène and her leg the village is starting to talk. They are starting to see the "pay it forward" mentality. Doing nice things for others just because. I call it the "pay it forward" mentality, but really, it is the "Body of Christ" model. Tala's house needs a new roof, and we are almost sure that if we help Tchaly with his house that he will gladly take care of her roof out of thankfulness, and ask nothing in compensation. We are praying hard that God will continue to change the hearts of the people here.

This is the second time this week that God has blessed our socks off.
I found out this week that for almost a year now, or maybe more, Gersan has wanted to start a chicken business. Immediately after Boss Varis, one of our head guys, started working here he was asking about when he could start the chicken business. His son knows how to take care of them and it would be a wonderful micro development project. Gersan had wanted that for a long time anyway too, but never mentioned it to anyone. Last week I got an email from my boss at Frontier Camp saying that he wanted to talk about chickens. (I'm thinking... "ok??? That's random.") There is a family that goes to Foundry United Methodist Church and they teach the confirmation class for the youth there. They want to start emphasizing missions more, and wanted to use Jacob's Well as their project. The teacher of the class raises chickens in his backyard as sort-of a hobby, but also for meat and eggs. They decided that they wanted to raise the money, as a class, to buy 100 chickens for us as well as all the materials needed to build a chicken coop, hire someone to take care of them, feed the chickens, and gather eggs and meat to sell, or use for the staff here at camp. (Remember Gersan has never mentioned that he wanted to do this to any Americans.) I wish I could have seen his reaction when he recieved that email!

God is so good. He is so creative. His timing is so perfect. He can use things like chickens to remind us of how good He is.

Sometimes when God's timing is the same as mine it makes me realize how cool He is. But God's timing is not always the same as mine, not at all. But It is times like these that I learn I can trust Him. His timing is better than mine. It may not feel like it as i sit and wait and wait and wait and pray and pray and pray, but it is beautiful. He will make all things good in HIS time. 

For example, earlier I mentioned the ugly things here in my village. Satan and his hold on the people being one of them. While, for now, the big voodoo ceremony is over I know there will be others. It is not God's timing to totally remove all of the voodoo preists right now. But if you consider the whole picture you will see that less than 6 years ago there were 12 voodoo temples in this village. Today there are 3. THREE! And God is slowly turning the hearts of at least two of those three towards Him. I want them to know Jesus today. But, His timing is perfect.

He has made all things beautiful. He is a beautiful creator. Life is beautiful already. But sometimes He makes it more beautiful so that we will stop and recognize Him as the creator.

Notice something beautiful today.
Happy Sunday!