tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38191468967009773632024-03-04T22:29:19.347-06:00NoellefaithNoelleFaith: Enjoying the little things in lifeNoelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.comBlogger106125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-68097347936849135852016-01-12T22:07:00.003-06:002016-01-12T22:08:56.502-06:00Storytelling. Share your story.I started this blog 5 and a half years ago with no intention of anyone ever reading it, I just needed to get some stuff out and it was a way of sharing my story.<br />
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At the time, I was telling my story constantly, everyone wanted to know my story (or at least the part of my story that got me on prime time news on multiple news channels. The <i>"Local girl survived the earthquake in Port Au Prince, Haiti"</i>.) Churches wanted me to share about what God was doing and how I saw God working. Schools wanted me to come and talk to their students about my story. I told my story all the time...<br />
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...how I was in an unfamiliar country after a mission trip after my team had returned to the U.S, and through a strange turn of events I was volunteering for a few days at a burn clinic until I returned to the states...<br />
...how we had gone to visit a school in the morning and it was just like any other day...<br />
...how I took an afternoon siesta and was awoken by vigorous shaking...<br />
...how I tried to get down off my bunk bed and ended up pretty much getting thrown to the ground and not being able to get my feet back under me again...<br />
...how after the shaking stopped I reached for my phone to text my mom and say nonchalantly, "well, I think I just experienced my first earthquake." But I didn't have any signal...<br />
...how I had no idea that what would transpire over the next 72 or so hours would cause me to tremble and cry and nearly shut down completely every time anything shook or rumbled around me....<br />
...how I had no idea the magnitude of what had happened until I realized I didn't have signal and I looked up and listened...<br />
...how I could see the huge cloud of ash covering Port au Prince and I could hear screams in the distance...<br />
...how the next couple of days I worked in the clinic that became a hospital...<br />
...how I assisted with a brain surgery without anesthesia, I scraped debris from a woman's head and face and filled a bucket with what I removed....<br />
...how I cared for burns that were worse than I ever care to see again...<br />
...how I worked on a woman for hours and hours until finally holding her head in my lap as she took her last breath...<br />
...how I wept for her soul, when I realized it should have been me who didn't make it, me who knows Jesus and knows who holds my future, but I had no idea what her future held.<br />
...I shared my story of how when I tried to sleep and closed my eyes all I could see were the people I had worked all day in the clinic on, and I could still feel the ground shaking about every 20 minutes. Each time imagining the roof falling on me and inflicting one of the wounds I had just spent hours tending to.<br />
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*<a href="http://noellefaith.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-strong-tower.html" target="_blank">this post</a> includes an email written to my dad that day during the most raw moment of my entire life to date*<br />
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For about 6 months I shared my story constantly, people wanted to "grab coffee", hear about my story, and know what they could do. I told them about Haiti, and about that time, about how my experiences were making me excited to go to nursing school one day. But I don't think I told many people that I struggled with severe guilt because I survived. I didn't tell them that even 6 months later I would wake up crying when the train would go by my house at 3a.m. and my bed would shake (which I had never noticed before in the 4 years of living in that same room), They didn't know I called my mom every Monday afternoon like clockwork sobbing so hard I could barely breathe because I just couldn't do another Monday because that meant it was a whole week until the weekend when I could drive home and sit on the couch with my mom and dad and just cry if I needed to. I didn't share that part of my story with everyone. Some people knew some parts of it, but most didn't.<br />
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I've been thinking a lot about my story recently, about how I always want people to know the good stuff. Like I said, I started this blog almost as therapy, 6 months after the earthquake and the amount of people who cared about the earthquake in Haiti drastically diminished. I needed some sort of outlet, and I was able to share my story here. I just sat down and would write. Whatever came out wherever the words led me, much like I'm doing tonight. Then, after a while I would start "writing" all the time, in my head, just waiting till I could get to the computer to dump it all out. My story changed, I moved back to Haiti, I lived there, I blogged all the time, I figured people cared, I cared, I wasn't busy, I didn't have any reason not to write. Then my story changed again and I totally stopped writing, I had all the reasons not to write, I frequently wished that I wrote more, but now I have this weird feeling that my writing needs to be edited, clean, and flow nicely, but most of all it needs to be interesting. I think that prevents me from even sitting down to write. My mundane life isn't interesting to anyone else, so at the expense of my mental health sometimes, I don't write because I don't feel like my thoughts are important enough to be solidified in the internet stratosphere forever.<br />
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But this time of year always brings reflection, probably because of the new year and everyone wants a "fresh start". I always think about a fresh start, and wouldn't that be nice, but really I just want to keep living my ever changing story. The earthquake was my story 6 years ago today. It still is my story, but there is a lot more to my story now too, and I'm realizing that all of it needs to be shared.<br />
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I've been thinking about my story recently because I've been thinking about Peggy's story. Peggy is our dog, we adopted her about two weeks ago. She is about 5 years old, white and brown German shorthaired pointer. She loves to play fetch and will play for 3 hours straight if you let her. She snores when she sleeps and dances when we come home, she stands on her two back feet when she's too short to see stuff and its stupid how cute she is. Daniel and I just love her and think she's adorable all the time, except when she pees on our rug. Peeing on rug = not adorable. When I look at Peg I see her story in her eyes. I know its there. She's lived a tough life, she's been a mom, she's been out on the street, and I don't think she has always belonged to a family who loves her. I am always learning about her. I wish she could tell me her story while I pet her super soft ears. I wish she could tell me how she got that scar and tear on her left ear and why she walks with a limp sometimes. I love her and I don't know her story. Dan and I love her right where she is, peeing on the rug and all. I wonder how much life she has lived and why that makes her act the way she does. I want to know her story, but knowing it won't make me love her any more or less. However, knowing might help me to love her better.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(I know you are all dying to see a pic of Peg, so here you go!)</span></div>
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I think so often I am scared to tell my story, not just about the earthquake, but about my job, my marriage, my faith, my insecurities, my hopes and dreams. I'm worried about what people might think, that they might see I don't have it all instagram filtered perfectly, or that they will think my story is boring. I like to think I don't really have those fears, but I think I do. I think that, among other reasons is why I haven't written in so long, or why I only write seldomly. But recently I've been so comforted by knowing that when I share my story, whatever it is, whatever is going on with me right then, it won't make people love me any more or less, but it might help them to know me better, and I might be able to love THEM better too by sharing.<br />
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So that's my encouragement for the day. Share your story. The good, the bad, and the ugly.<br />
My story today is so different than my story 6 years ago, but I wouldn't change any of it, I pray that I will just keep on living my story, and sharing my story as it comes along.<br />
<br />Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-10434568965757902772015-10-12T23:20:00.001-05:002015-10-12T23:33:34.184-05:00Beauties & Babies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Do you ever have one of those moments where it feels like
everything is just “Working”? you woke up early without your alarm, drank your
whole cup of tea before it got cold, your hair looks good, it’s sunny and 73*,
you went on a five mile walk in your healthy body, cleared your mind of stress
and anxiety lurking in the corners, you stopped by a friend’s house unannounced
because you were walking by and couldn’t wait to share what a great day you
were having, and just word vomit all your hopes and dreams in their lap, and
then on your walk home you just had enough energy and excitement to run the
last bit (and LIKE IT?!?) In that moments you feel like you can dream for your
future, see clearly what it is that you are passionate about, and your thoughts
are not clouded by doubt or fear or whatever other lies you let rule your mind?
That afternoon for me was Thursday, August 20, 2015. I felt so energized. But
that energy I had cannot carry me through forever, so I had to act.</div>
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Recently I posted on social media about my last day at work. It was
bittersweet to leave that job that shaped me as a nurse, and the co-workers
turned dear friends, but I am even more excited about what is to come. I’m
moving toward what moves me. Women move me. I care about women, I care about
health, and I care about being a woman who moves other women. It’s hard to be a
woman, but it’s also one of the things I’m most thankful for. A woman I follow
on Instagram posted the<o:p></o:p></div>
the picture above, and I think it is so true, when women
encourage and empower other women it empowers and encourages them too, and
allows them to continue encouraging and empowering more women. <br />
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So here’s the long and short of it. I am transitioning out
of being a cardiac nurse to being a Women’s Health Advocate/Cheerleader/Educator/Encourager.
<i>(That’s the title I just came up with for myself.)<span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></i></div>
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<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> </i></span>For my “day” job <i>(which will
actually be my night job)</i> I will be working at John Peter Smith Hospital here
in Fort Worth in their Labor & Delivery department. </li>
<li>The rest of my “nurse”
time will be spent continuing to volunteer at the Fort Worth Pregnancy Center,
empowering women to make informed and healthy choices about their unplanned
pregnancy, and giving them all the loving support they need to do so. </li>
<li>Also, I
have started working with <a href="http://www.beautycounter.com/noellefrantz">Beauty Counter</a>. It is an amazing company that I’m
learning so much through being a part of, and guess what?! It’s mostly women
empowering women to make healthy choices! Are we seeing a pattern yet? <i>(More on Beauty Counter later)</i>. </li>
<li>Additionally,
I’m planning to move forward with my yoga practice and become certified to
teach. My girls and guys at The Yoga Project have changed my life in ways I
didn’t see coming, and I want to be a part of that life-change too. </li>
<li>And I would
really love to start writing/blogging again because, for me, that brings about
a lot of positive mental health in my life.</li>
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I’m making dreams for the future, dreams of how I’ll spend
my time, how I’ll impact, encourage, and empower women, and mostly dreams of
who I’ll meet and how what they will teach me. It’s too easy to become insecure
and full of comparison. I do that every day. We have enough people telling us
we are doing it wrong. Someone needs to encourage and tell us that we are doing
it right. So I’m both excited and scared. Of course, I’m terrified about
working nights, I hate staying up past 10PM. I’m definitely concerned that I’m
going to miss my husband all the time between me working nights and him being
in medical school. But I’m thankful he’s supportive. Sure I’m worried about
learning new things, changing from the private to the county hospital, being
responsible for the freshest lives on the whole planet, and making new friends.
I definitely feel inadequate when I go in to inform a scared girl or woman of
her results pertaining to an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy. Of course I’m
worried that through being in a direct sales company people will think I’m
being judgy or salesy instead of informative, educational, and caring. Or that
people won’t want to be around me because I talk about woman stuff, use woman
words that no normal people are comfortable with using. I’m definitely scared
to start my blog back up, I mean can I even write<i> (seriously, I used the word woman/women and encourage and empower literally every other word in the second paragraph of this post! Seriously, have I ever used a thesaurus?)</i> who even cares about what I have to say?<i> (Hi mom!)</i> My
life isn’t as cool as it used to be 4 years ago when I lived in a developing
country, spoke another language 24/7 and had no indoor plumbing. And of course
I get insecure when I think about talking to women about their health? Who
wants to listen to me? I am far from having the perfect body, balanced
hormones, and an all clean GMO free, organic, solar powered, super productive
life. But hey, we are all in this together. And I pray that as I walk this
journey of life that I do it giving grace and living under the grace that my
Heavenly Father has given me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So that’s my brief update about life. Hopefully, if all goes
as planned, I’ll keep up with the blog and you’ll hear more about my job, my
life, my marriage, the food I’m eating, the yoga pose I’m working on, and maybe
how I decorated my mantle for Fall. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Progress!!!! This is the first time I've pushed the "Publish" button since January of 2012, and even that was basically a re-blog of an old post. This is kinda the first original post since I blogged regularly in 2011, but I made progress I hit that "publish" button!</div>
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Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-14794614532687680122012-01-12T15:32:00.000-06:002012-01-12T15:32:29.157-06:00ReflectionsToday marks the two year anniversary of the most horrific day of my life, and the lives of over a million others.<br />
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Its been two years since the 7.0 mag earthquake struck Haiti and shook her to the core. As I think back to that day two years ago, I try to fight tears. I try to fight thinking about the faces of the people that came to us for help. I try to fight the feeling that at any moment I could hear that low grumble of the earth before it begins to shake me down to the very core of my soul. I thought at the time that the earthquake itself was the most scary, and the most damaging, but I had no idea how the earthquake and the events of that day would haunt my life. I had no idea how much I could learn about myself, the Lord, people, compassion, selflessness, fear, and peace.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmt3_bqoE4RNqVhSQzVyYFd1dYvfhdWT8q5BJowcujWBJJzdg2E2f6ltzJDIYaBi6zlRrlfnAOyuu_QbG69lPg8_vhxyj5tyscR16GCO8zSLnxNCmyXfFK9gtF5hT-eQ6yRs-khKz5lM8/s1600/cynthia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmt3_bqoE4RNqVhSQzVyYFd1dYvfhdWT8q5BJowcujWBJJzdg2E2f6ltzJDIYaBi6zlRrlfnAOyuu_QbG69lPg8_vhxyj5tyscR16GCO8zSLnxNCmyXfFK9gtF5hT-eQ6yRs-khKz5lM8/s320/cynthia.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Today, I've tried to preoccupy my mind with other things, but I feel that to ignore this day completely would be a shame. God caused this to happen. He has been faithful through it. I've posted some links to my story from that day. Its too painful to write out and re-live over again, but as much as I remember the pain, and the horror of that day, I am reminded of God's faithfulness, of His steadfast love, and His unfailing peace.<br />
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Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, and followed my adventure of living in Little Guinea may not know that I started the blog for the sole purpose of writing down the earthquake story, and processing through for therapy. I started writing on the 6 month anniversary of the earthquake and re-lived those days. It quickly became hard to write about, and I decided to just write things as they happened.<br />
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This blog is just one of the ways that God has been faithful. All the stories in it came about because of Him, and the fact that you are reading them is directly related to the earthquake as well. Today, pray for the country of Haiti. Pray for their hearts. And above all, walk in God's peace.<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">To read some of my first posts about the quake itself click the links below: </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://noellefaith.blogspot.com/2010/07/and-then-god-spoke.html">Part 1</a></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://noellefaith.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-strong-tower.html">Part 2</a> (A lot of you may have received the email included in this post.) </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://noellefaith.blogspot.com/2010/07/in-blink-of-eye.html">Part 3</a></span>Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-1857537373936543902011-12-04T21:19:00.001-06:002011-12-04T21:50:19.710-06:00Old FriendIts been a while since I've written. A very long while. I can't really pinpoint the reason for this.<br />
Being busy?<br />
Being lazy?<br />
Not having thoughts?<br />
Not wanting to have thoughts?<br />
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I really don't know. But today, for some reason I really am missing this old friend. Maybe its because I'm missing home in Ti Guinea? That's when me and the writing obsession really fell for each other? Maybe its because it was this time last year that I found out I was moving to the country that I loved, to do something totally unknown. I have tears in my eyes, and running down my face as I write this. Part of me is wishing it was last year and I am about to embark on the most incredible journey of my life. Having no idea the people that I'm about to meet...The people who are going to steal my heart, teach my heart, break my heart, and heal my heart. I miss them. Today especially, I miss them.<br />
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This morning as we sang in church, I couldn't stop thinking about the Sunday that I woke up with a headache, skipped church in the village and went up to the mountain to pray and to spend time in prayer. I couldn't stop seeing the valley in my mind. Hearing the kids yelling my name, "Norell! Norell!", as I tried to disguise myself and have some alone time with Jesus. I miss the way that the village broke my heart. I miss the lessons that I learned through small conversations with old men, with young girls, with old women, and with little ones who weren't yet old enough to talk.<br />
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This year I'm about to embark on another journey. One that looks very different than the one last year. I sit here missing the past, yet looking forward to the future. The same nervous feeling in my stomach, fear of the unknown. The Haiti adventure was one that took my breath away so many times. It was painful, it was hard, but it was so incredibly beautiful. The adventure I'm about to begin will be tough, but I think it will have its joys. The one thing that I know is why I'm going. I'm going to nursing school, to learn, so that eventually <i>(hopefully)</i> I can move back to Ti Guinea, and help the women that I already love. I can see their faces when I close my eyes. I can hear their giggles and smirks when I pronounce words wrong, or hug them and tell them they are beautiful and that I love them. This journey is unknown just like the last, but hopefully, it will end in the same place, with the same faces.<br />
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My heart beats is for the women of Ti Guinea. For the women of Ba Limbe, and the other surrounding villages. My dream is to love them, to teach them, and to live with them. I have many thoughts on how I want to accomplish this. Health education, women's health, midwifery, general education and skills training, etc. but, lest I get caught up in the details, I'm just envisioning these women. Their faces, their names, their stories.<br />
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I miss my old friend the blog. I miss living with the people who inspired its stories. When I started writing, it was a blog about me, but how foolish I was to not see that this is about their stories. But more importantly, its about God's story in all of us. How He is weaving our hearts together. How He is satisfying us.<br />
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Its so easy to look to other things for our satisfaction. Its easy for me to look towards the future and say that once I finish school, get married, and move to Haiti I'll be ok. But I know that's not true. There are so many things that I look towards for fulfillment that will never satisfy me. I'll never be "ok" unless I look to Christ for all the fulfillment, joy, and satisfaction that I need. He's the reason that all these things are good. I am so undeserving of the blessings that he has lavished on my heart.<br />
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I hope that me and this old friend will get to spend more time together. That I will spend more time writing, because the lessons I learn while writing are just more undeserved blessings from Him.Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-64650662575732632172011-10-13T23:48:00.000-05:002011-10-13T23:48:36.296-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Ok, so I realize I'm not doing a super good job of keeping up with the 3 Things I'm Thankful for, Thursdays. But I'm going to try to do better, I promise!<br />
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But this week has been great, so I feel like I should blog about it.<br />
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So here goes.<br />
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1. I'm thankful for the Lord's timing. After a lot of waiting, many tears, and lots of stressing....<b>I got into nursing school!!!! </b>Praise the Lord! He is so good to me! I got accepted to UT Health Science Center in San Antonio! I am still waiting to hear back from a few other schools, but I am looking forward to starting in January. I'm so excited that I'm finally in and I can't wait to start this new chapter in my journey!<br />
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2. I'm thankful for having some time off! Last night as I was falling asleep I decided that it would be a stellar idea to just take a road trip up to Dallas on my way to Austin this weekend. Let me explain... I'm going to Austin this weekend with Kylie to see my sweet friend, Caidee and her husband Jordan. Kylie decided to leave for Austin today, and so, not wanting to be left home alone, I decided to road trip up to Dallas to see Daniel and some other friends before heading to Austin on Saturday. It worked out perfectly because I had food that was getting ready to go bad in my fridge, and so I brought it and we made leftovers.<br />
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3. Lastly, I'm thankful for the cold weather! It had been feeling so wonderful these days... especially in the evenings! I even wore a scarf today!! It was magical!<br />
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That's all for now. I'll try to be better about keeping up from now on!<br />
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<br />Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-41825844117162912942011-09-26T22:41:00.000-05:002011-09-26T22:43:57.033-05:00Thankful Thursdays<br />
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Three things I’m thankful for Thursday.</div>
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Thankfulness is something that I think everyone can use more
of. Especially me. I have so much to be thankful for, but I don’t always take
the time to sit and think about it. I saw a sign the other day that said, “What
if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday.” Many people save their thankfulness for
November around Thanksgiving, but I’ve decided to take some time out of every
week to thank God for His gifts, whether big or small. Significant, or
insignificant.</div>
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I must admit. The “Three Things I’m Thankful for” Theme is
not a totally original idea. One of my best friends, and roommate of 3 years
started it. Except her “Three things” is on Monday. So I’m giving Kylie the
credit for the idea! You should check out her blog, "<a href="http://polkadotteddays.blogspot.com/">Polka Dotted Days</a>" too! (For real, check it out. She's super funny!)</div>
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Last Wednesday night, as I was laying in bed and throwing myself a
little pity party, I decided to snap out of it and be thankful! And so was
born, the weekly ....</div>
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1.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span>These guys! Gersan and Betty Valcin are my other
set of parents. They have truly been such a blessing this past year, and have
been so wonderful to do ministry with. Gersan is the optimist I hope to be one
day, and Betty is full of wisdom and truth. I’m honored that they call me their
other daughter, and I’m so blessed by their hearts!</div>
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2. Electric tennis racquets. <span style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;">(Ok, I
didn’t say each of the things I’m thankful for were going to be earth
shattering…)</span>These things are a for-real, a lifesaver though. They
provide an effective way to kill mosquitoes, and make it a fun sport, all at
the same time. I am not as effective as some people with the racquets, as is
evidenced by my thoroughly bitten legs,
arms, and face. Betty could totally give Venus and Serena a run for their money
with her mosquito killing tennis skills though. <span style="font-size: 9pt; line-height: 115%;">(please ignore the crazy eyes and the bad web-cam
quality photo)</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLrG7R8nIKvQB3l0Re5a_XWoFrHUXEX7ZlxxQNCOrWZHA53o_IxVa8eqJ-fftVB8voCvvp56ygdmm7ZymRgrJTO03H2crglG01DJKvI8lEGzDhdXrSinAwyxu7zRLjfaXKTTDBhqDRke8/s1600/Snapshot_20110922_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLrG7R8nIKvQB3l0Re5a_XWoFrHUXEX7ZlxxQNCOrWZHA53o_IxVa8eqJ-fftVB8voCvvp56ygdmm7ZymRgrJTO03H2crglG01DJKvI8lEGzDhdXrSinAwyxu7zRLjfaXKTTDBhqDRke8/s1600/Snapshot_20110922_1.jpg" /></a></div>
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3.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span>God’s plan. Through many tears last night I
thanked God for His perfect plan. I am back, or rather, <i>still</i> in the land of Inbetween. But I’m so thankful that I can remind
myself “all things work together for good to them that love the Lord.” That God
has got whatever is going on in my life under control and He knows what’s
coming even though I don’t. I’m thankful
for His plan. I’m thankful I can trust Him. And as much as I fight and cry and
wish sometimes, I am thankful He’s in charge.</div>
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...And so begins the Thankful Thursdays! Thanks for the inspiration, <a href="http://polkadotteddays.blogspot.com/">Kylie</a>!</div>
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Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-44960053445581272892011-09-20T21:41:00.001-05:002011-09-20T22:53:52.673-05:00Changing The Look And Enjoying The Little ThingsI think my blog is having a bit of an identity crisis. I don't think the blog, or rather, the author, knows what to do with a "Haiti themed" blog, while living in America.<br />
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It makes me feel weird to talk about anything on here that doesn't have some deep spiritual meaning, or some great story from my friends in the village. So I've decided to do a little updating. I've wanted to write this post since May and haven't really done it correctly, so its just sitting in my drafts.<br />
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I want to enjoy the little things. <b>Today! </b>The things that otherwise may go unnoticed, the things that may or may not have real deep meaning. I want to enjoy things <b>today! </b>Not tomorrow. Not next year, but today. God has put me in today to enjoy it and learn from it.<br />
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Life happens <b>today</b>. Here: wherever I am</div>
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Doing what I'm doing <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(however frivolous it may seem)</span></div>
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Celebrating the little blessings just as much as the big ones</div>
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I am not forgetting about Haiti or my time there. It brought me to today. And today may lead me back to Haiti, but I don't want to miss life by looking at yesterday or tomorrow. </div>
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My name is Noelle <i>Faith</i>. I need that daily reminder that He is faithful, <i>yesterday, today, and forever. </i>He is faithful in the little things. So I'll enjoy them today. And then I'll share them with you! </div>
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This blog will be about the little things:<br />
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Who I'm with</div>
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What I'm making</div>
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When life happens</div>
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Where I'm going</div>
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Why I'm laughing</div>
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How I'm doing</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><i>...TODAY!</i></span></div>
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Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-3546457123418036522011-09-20T18:36:00.000-05:002011-09-20T18:37:17.654-05:0010 on TuesdaySo its Tuesday, yet again. I've missed so many along the way, but I've decided just to pick myself up and start again. So here goes. Again, the goal of the 10 on Tuesday is to take 10 pictures every hour for 10 hours throughout the day, but over time its changed into a 10 things blog. Today I'm going to do 10 pictures, not necessarily from today, but they are from this week.<br />
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1. I'm back here!! I realized when I got home to Jacob's Well that so far in 2011 this has been my home more than anywhere else this year. It was so great to be home for a week and see all my friends, and speak Kreyol again!</div>
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2. The purpose of my trip was to translate for a medical team from Minnesota. I pleasantly surprised myself with how much Kreyol I had remembered!</div>
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3. Of course, I loved seeing Jenny again.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> (She really was happy to see me too, even though you can't tell.)</span></div>
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4. Remember my old-man friend from <a href="http://noellefaith.blogspot.com/2011/04/bondye-beni-nou-anpil.html">this post</a>? I got to see him too! He said every day he's been hoping that I would come back, and we were so glad to see each other.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> (Also, his had had healed up so nicely I could barely even see the scar, and he couldn't even remember which hand it was at first!)</span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BMzfgtdL39s/TnfAlD3FidI/AAAAAAAAE5M/U_txgmCrjOY/s1600/IMG_1047.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BMzfgtdL39s/TnfAlD3FidI/AAAAAAAAE5M/U_txgmCrjOY/s320/IMG_1047.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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5. The church has done some expansion! It is going to look so great when its done! Its almost twice as big now as it was when I left. And made of some sturdier materials!</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Or9O3miGgk4/TnfBgLa13wI/AAAAAAAAE68/FIVKsrwI56I/s1600/IMG_1075.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Or9O3miGgk4/TnfBgLa13wI/AAAAAAAAE68/FIVKsrwI56I/s320/IMG_1075.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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6. Haitian food. Is the best. End of story.</div>
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7. I almost cried when I saw <a href="http://noellefaith.blogspot.com/2011/02/prayupdated-bodies-urgent.html">Lelene </a> walking up to me this week! Her leg is almost completely healed. It is nothing short of a miracle! Thank you to all who have prayed for her!</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J05INq8zs1k/Tnf8gzJ5MAI/AAAAAAAAE9s/xgA9-r7iVJw/s1600/IMG_0537.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-J05INq8zs1k/Tnf8gzJ5MAI/AAAAAAAAE9s/xgA9-r7iVJw/s320/IMG_0537.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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8. I got to meet a few new baby friends. This is Wendel. he is a soccer announcer for the radio in Limbe. This is his son, Wendel Messi, named after the soccer <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lionel_Messi">player</a> from Argentina. Wendel has the nickname "Le Grande" in the village because he is at least a head taller and much thicker than most Haitians. Windel Messi is more than likely the biggest 5 month old I've ever seen, following in his father's footsteps!</div>
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9. You know how some people are ocean people and some people are mountain people? I'm a mountain person, and I've missed having this as my back yard view!!</div>
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10. And lastly, I'm back to skype communicating. I actually didn't have any internet connection at all when I was at camp this past week, but now I'm in Port Au Prince, and back to the old skype instant messaging relationship with Dan and my family. We totally got spoiled by living in the same country and having a telephone. God's reminding us not to take anything for granted!</div>
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<br />Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-9368380374266240122011-09-19T18:05:00.000-05:002011-09-19T18:06:03.836-05:00It Is For Freedom He Has Set Us Free<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">*This post was started on April 11th, and finished this past week.* </span></i><br />
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God is making a movement in this village. There is no doubt. Things are changing. God is blessing people. He is using Pastor Valcin in many ways to spread the good news of the gospel! Gersan has been blessed and we have been able to help numerous people with their living situations, their health situations, and their spiritual poverty. The training at the church here is far from finished, but much progress has been made. God lives in Ti Guinea.<br />
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Today I was walking around with Boss Varis and a few of the others who work with us. We were taking pictures of some of the families that recieved latrienes recently. Water Missions International partnered with us and we were able to build 25 latrienes in this village. Today as we were taking pictures I got to see many houses in the village. Some are large, and made with ciment blocks, some very small and made with dirt and sticks.<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PJncfP4AXN4/TaOi4ZQXKVI/AAAAAAAADYA/pO4DOC_vvAo/s1600/IMG_0404.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PJncfP4AXN4/TaOi4ZQXKVI/AAAAAAAADYA/pO4DOC_vvAo/s320/IMG_0404.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
These houses all had something in common though: Multiple front doors.<br />
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Why is this significant you ask? It is, very significant. Let me explain.<br />
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I think in any country, even in the states, the further you get into the country the more spiritual people become. Sometimes, in some areas in some countries people are very spiritual and worship the true God. Sometimes people begin to put their trust in the plants for healing purposes and whatever else. Here, we are pretty far away from the big cities. And voodoo is big. In this voodoo culture every house has at least two front doors. I've seen houses with 3 front doors, 3 back doors, and 2 side doors per side. The reason for this is the belief that if someone dies inside the house the spirit will have a door to exit through, and the people won't have to use that door to walk where the spirt walked. Also, that way the spirit has plenty of options to exit, because lets be real, no one is going to want to come visit if there is a spirit in the house that can't get out!<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5G_IkeKOKk8/TaOsQLN-LyI/AAAAAAAADZ0/SPuQNWZJeck/s1600/IMG_0429.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5G_IkeKOKk8/TaOsQLN-LyI/AAAAAAAADZ0/SPuQNWZJeck/s320/IMG_0429.JPG" width="320" /></a>As we approached one of the houses I caught a glimpse through the gate. It was painted beautifully, yellow and blue and red and green. I quickly realized this is a voodoo temple. This is the place that is responsible for preforming those ceremonies that have disrupted my sleep so much for many nights I was here.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wrPJSYsHiZQ/TaOj2gwOxHI/AAAAAAAADYk/D5ZC3ERRRDA/s1600/IMG_0413.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wrPJSYsHiZQ/TaOj2gwOxHI/AAAAAAAADYk/D5ZC3ERRRDA/s320/IMG_0413.JPG" width="320" /></a>My brain engaged as quickly as I could make it, and I began to really look around and try to see details and see what was going on. I couldn't make sense of a lot that I saw, but a few things stood out to me. The feel of the place was not what I was expecting. I didn't feel the oppression or the darkness that I was expecting to accompany that place.</div>
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I began to think that maybe the evil that was here could see the light in me and had run for cover. I'll never know. But it did make me think. I thought about how I had always perceived voodoo temples to be such a dark and oppressive place, but really this place was even possibly a little more up-beat than the others because of all the color. I think that voodoo is evil. Pure evil, but I think a lot of the evil comes through deceiving those who are involved. The voodoo priest didn't look like an evil man, he just looked like a sad, lonely, lost man.</div>
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The other thing that clearly stood out. More than anything else, was how everything was tied. Random stuff all wrapped up in ropes and cords around the trees. There were ropes and cords wrapped around every surface with bottles, candles, chairs, feathers, plates, cups, flags all wrapped up in them. The cords went around, and around, and around, and around. On one tree it was probably almost a foot thick of cords and ropes wrapped around and holding stuff in. But on the door posts, and on random smaller trees, and everywhere things were wrapped, bound. Bound up tight. And that caught my heart. These people who are so deep in voodoo are so bound by Satan. So bound by the lies. And Satan is deceptive, he has them bind things up, wrap them tight so there is no hope of getting them out of the cords that entagle them. And while they wrap up possesions and inanimate objects, he wraps them up tight. Binds them so tightly in sin and deception that they have no idea they are bound. They begin to think that their bondage is normal.<br />
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But Satan has not won! God is moving though this village. Setting people free. Giving life, and life abundant. More than 12 voodoo temples were in this village when Jacob's Well was first established 6 years ago. Now there are 2. Both of those voodoo priests are losing some of their trust in their voodoo. They are curious about Jesus. They are curious about what is happening in these people's lives. Christ has set so many free. But the battle is still there. Satan is fighting for them still. He will tempt them again. But Christ is victorious.<br />
Every time I come to Haiti, I try to spend some time on top of the mountains looking over the valley and praying. Praying for freedom. Praying for light. Before I came on my trip this spring I felt the verse from Galations very heavy on my heart. "It is for freedom He has set you free." I am seeing that freedom being given in the village. Praise Christ.<br />
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What Satan has bound and destined to destroy, Christ has set free and given life anew!<br />
Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-79007697867939583512011-09-19T16:57:00.000-05:002011-09-19T16:57:14.144-05:00Coming Home<br />
<i>This post was written on Tuesday, Sept 13, but I didn't have internet until now: </i><br />
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What a sweet feeling it is to come home. You know the feeling. You walk into your house and its welcoming, normal, comfortable. You have that "ahhhh, finally home" moment. After being off on vacation for 3 months, I'm back home in Ti Guinea. I love traveling in Haiti because I feel like I see so much more diversity of the culture, but I think subconsciously it stresses me out. I don't feel like my kreyol is nearly as good in Port Au Prince or Cap Haitian as it is here in Ti Guinea. I learned it here with these people, so I feel the most comfortable speaking it here with these people. Today as we drove in to the village on the road I saw many familiar faces. They would wave cordially at the truck with the 3 blancs in the back, but then I would wave or say hello and they would shout, "MEN NORELLE, MEN NORELLE!!" ("Here's Noelle, here's Noelle!") I had told a few people that I was coming, but apparently the word did not get around. I am just as excited to see each of them as they are to see me. I didn't get a chance to see many people tonight, but I will be going out tomorrow to visit with all my friends. Praise God for His goodness. That He saw fit to give me such sweet friends from such a different background. Within five minutes of my arrival the skies opened up and poured rain, and Tchaly said, "Bondye kontan ou la. Li beni nou ak lapli paske ou vin we nou!"("God is happy you are here. He blessed us with the rain because you came to see us!")<br />
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Tonight I'm laying in bed...just thinking... I came to lay down early for two reasons. 1. Its dark and I have no internet, so what else am I going to do? and 2. I have the traditional "Welcome back to Haiti" stomach ache. So I'm laying here, and just thinking about how things were... How things have been for the majority of this year so far! I've spent more time in Haiti in 2011 than I have in the United States! That just struck me. For now, this really is my home. As I lay here tonight memories keep flooding my mind.<br />
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It smells like rain. It reminds me of when it rained for the entire time that my dad and Gracie came to visit in February.<br />
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My room is dark, except for the light from my computer screen. Which reminds me of all the nights I spent up insanely late talking to Daniel on skype.<br />
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Even just sitting on the counter in the kitchen reminds me of how I used to sit there and write my 10 on Tuesdays while dinner would be cooking. Or how many, many conversations and hours I spent just sitting there and talking with Boss Varis, Guerline, Tchaly, and Tala. It has been so wonderful to be home. I'm so enjoying seeing all my friends!<br />
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My room is missing a lot of the color that it had when I was here, which is making me remember how cute it was decorated and how at-home I was here. I was talking with Theresa, a lady from Foundry United Methodist church who came on a scouting team with us, and I was apolgizing for not being a good guide. And she just said, "Its ok. This is just normal and home for you. I can tell you are comfortable here."<br />
That is a dually true and untrue statement. I am comfortable here. This is my home. This is my heart. These are my people. I can only wait in anticipation the day that I move here permanently. But that statement is also false. There are so many things that make me uncomfortable about being here. The need, the fear, the bondage to Satan, etc. All these things make me very uncomfortable... But they are the reason that I am here. They are the reason that I am motivated to come and make this my real home.<br />
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So thanks for welcoming me back, Ti Guinea. I've missed you so much!!<br />
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Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-48160443236700006522011-09-07T16:43:00.001-05:002011-09-20T10:31:23.373-05:00Today I'm thankful forThere is always that moment when you sit down to write something and you stare at the page for 20 minutes before realizing that you've not only just wasted 20 minutes of your life, but have made no progress on the task at hand.<br />
I've been in that situation so many, many times in the last few months. Today it would have happened, but I decided that instead of wasting time writing a personal statement I would write it in the blog. There was a time where I could sit down and write the fool out of this blog. I had thoughts. They were collected. They felt less like crazy and more like normal. I used to write blogs in my head, even the funny parts, which would make me laugh to myself at my own silly humor. And then I would sit and write them out for real.<br />
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I still write blogs in my head. I still make myself laugh for no reason. But I haven't written them out for real. I've currently got about 4 drafts of different blogs that haven't made the cut to get published. Writing helps me process, but hitting that "publish" button gives me closure. My heart rate races a little before pushing that little orange button, then I have about 2 seconds of "OH NO!! Did I just do that? Then I realize its done, its out there, and I can relax." So today. I'm going to publish. I may not even proofread because when I do I take out things, or get too chicken to publish. So here's to publishing... <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(I wish I actually had a glass of wine to toast with... that helps with the pre-publishing jitters.)</span><br />
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Life recently has been interesting. Life recently has been fast paced. Life recently has been wonderful. I've been dying to write about life recently, but I always chicken out. I feel like I owe it to my readers, if I still have any, to play catch up, but I'm not really going to. I think that's why I haven't written.<br />
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Life recently has taught me so much. About life, love, friendship, blessings, joys, hope, and trust.<br />
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I've been striving to live today. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month, not next year, but today. Focus on today, enjoy today! Its too overwhelming to focus on tomorrow, I have no idea what I'm going to be doing... hopefully attacking the mountain of laundry threatening to take over my bedroom. Its too emotional to think about next week, and how next week I'll be back in Haiti. I'm so happy, I miss them so much. Emotional, good emotional, but still emotional. Its too overwhelming to think about next month, and how I still won't have heard back from nursing schools. But maybe by then I'll have gotten a job!? Its too far away to think about next year and how I have no clue what life will be like, but I do know this.... Today is here.<br />
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Today, my parents have packed up the important worldly possessions that we have. They are waiting on pins and needles, watching the smoke from the Magnolia wildfire rise, watching the ash fall, and waiting for a phone call telling them to evacuate.<br />
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Today, I'm thankful for my the friends that God has put in my life. How blessed I've been the last 2 weeks by the people who care about me and love me.<br />
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Today, I'm thankful for this past month. I know that doesn't fall into the category of "today", but still.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> I'm the boss of this blog, so I can write what I want! </span>I've had a wonderful month. I've laughed so much. Laughter is so healthy! I'm thankful for the time that I have had with my boyfriend, Daniel. We started dating when I was in Haiti and our communication abilities were very limited. Then when I got home we were at camp, he was the program director and I was there working as well. At camp we had to put our relationship on hold and essentially pretend that we weren't dating. This is hard to explain to those outside the camp world, but camp is about the campers and if our focus is on another individual then we've failed at serving them effectively. So I only really got to spend time with Daniel on the weekends, and we were both so tired and the weekends were so short that it was never enough. August has been my favorite month so far. We've gotten to talk, actually be together, and not pretend we don't know each other, we've laughed, road tripped between Tomball and Dallas, and even, at times reverted back to skyping. However, skyping when I'm in America is different than when I was in Haiti. Here it works like normal. In Haiti it worked like a bad version of AOL instant messenger. I am fully convinced that a little man had to swim my typed messages from the coast of Haiti to the Gulf of Mexico and then run to Dallas and deliver it to Dan. Anyway, bottom line, I'm thankful for Daniel today, and thankful for all the times that Daniel has made me laugh till I cried this month. What a blessing!<br />
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Today, I'm also thankful that I'm blogging. I love writing. Its like running. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(I don't love running, don't get me wrong... that's not what I mean.)</span> Its like running in that I love it when I'm doing it. I've only loved running once in my life. I was on a running kick. It was a love hate relationship. I hated it while I was doing it, but then felt good about myself afterwards, then I had an accident involving a wet curb, and my knee. And I quit running after that. Point being, blogging is like running in that when you are in the practice of it its so good, you get the endorphin high, its not hard to do, but when you fall and quit running, or just quit blogging its hard to get back into it. I sit and stare at the computer until I give up and browse pinterest, just like I put on my running shoes, and then make excuses to not go running. So today, I'm thankful for blogging. Hopefully I'll get back into it. Hopefully I can give my blog a facelift. Hopefully... we'll see... I'll take it one day at a time.<br />
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Today, I'm thankful for the "publish' button and how I can push it without proofreading, because I know if I proofread, I'll chicken out and not post this....<br />
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so here goes.... <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(still wish I had that glass of wine.)</span><br />
<br />Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-87516051989607945702011-08-31T00:50:00.000-05:002011-08-31T00:50:09.221-05:0010 on Tuesday...Well, it has been a long time since I have blogged with any regularity. I have been all over the place, both emotionally and geographically these past few months, and so I have decided to bring back the 10 on Tuesday, and hopefully get some catch up done.<br />
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So here is what has been going on in my life over the past 3 months... <br />
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1. I got home from Haiti on May 23rd, spent one week with my family, and then went straight to work at Frontier Camp. I spent June working at camp as the Healthcare assistant. I've spent the last 13 summers there, so that was a little slice of normal. Camp was so fun. There were wonderful memories and beautiful friendships that were strengthened this summer.<br />
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2. Towards the end of camp and for the first 3ish weeks of summer school, I was a total emotional train wreck. I had not processed Haiti. Its always an adjustment to come back home, but this time was different. I didn't have time to think about anything. I wasn't able to think or blog when I was at camp. When I don't blog or write out thoughts I feel like a crazy person. I'm talking, 'admit me to the insane asylum' crazy. I cried and cried. Like every day. I don't know why. I don't really know what about. I just cried. I missed Haiti. I was having a complete life crisis. Was nursing what I want to do? Is nursing what I'm supposed to do? Should I really be in summer school? Should I be back in Haiti? Should I be in a mental institution? It was awful. I was not trusting the Lord. I was leaning on my own strength and wisdom.... which always leads me to a mess of tears and failure.<br />
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3. God is gracious. He still loves me even though I'm sometimes a crazy person. He still blesses me daily. Provides friends, and family, and even strangers to encourage me. He is so good to me!<br />
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4. I am currently back in College Station. I live here. That is a loose term. What I mean by that is that I have a pile of vera bradley bags stuffed with various belongings piled in the middle of my room waiting to be unpacked. I'm not in school this semester. I'm praying for a job. I have a potential job, but have not heard back yet.<br />
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5. I'm waiting to hear back from nursing school. I'm praying that I'll get accepted to start in January. I have a few applications out and should hear back relatively soon. I'm praying that I get in if that's where God wants me.<br />
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6. I'm going back to Haiti in 13 days!!!!! Woah. I hadn't realized it was that soon. I'll be returning to my village in Ti Guinea for one week to translate for an American medical team. Its crazy to me that I speak enough kreyol now that I can actually translate for people. Please be praying for that trip. And for my Kreyol, that I will be able to translate clearly. The dates on that are Sept 12-Sept 22. I'm so excited to go back and see my village. I decided to stay a few extra days when I'm there to visit with all my friends. I'm positive that I will not have as much time there as I would like, but I am excited to see who I can see and get lots of hugs!<br />
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7. This has been a wonderful summer. Its been full of ups and downs, and totally crazy, but overall definitely a good summer. I've gotten to spend wonderful time with my roommates and dear friends at camp. I've gotten to spend some much needed family time.<br />
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<i>...Well, I'm out of things to say, so I'll just post random pictures from the last three months, so you have an idea of what shenanigans have gone down...</i><br />
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8. June- Frontier Camp-<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">At camp it is essential to wear a head-cam everywhere!<span style="font-size: x-small;"> (ok, maybe I only wore it once. My footage was boring, so I got booted.) </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ABEcD7V6ebE/Tl3Dbv1_ExI/AAAAAAAAExs/9HWRoU6pyoY/s1600/269580_10150710203270327_655975326_19610893_6215034_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ABEcD7V6ebE/Tl3Dbv1_ExI/AAAAAAAAExs/9HWRoU6pyoY/s320/269580_10150710203270327_655975326_19610893_6215034_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Frontier Camp rodeo- Dirty south night. What you can't see is the MASSIVE denim bow in my hair. It was awesome. I love it.<i> I'm currently looking for excuses to wear it in the real world! Ideas? </i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RBnX1w3RVmk/ThuTOBTL37I/AAAAAAAAEEs/xX2bx0eEshc/s1600/IMG_0257.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RBnX1w3RVmk/ThuTOBTL37I/AAAAAAAAEEs/xX2bx0eEshc/s320/IMG_0257.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Frontier Camp- 80's night. I was Gene Simmons from Kiss <span style="font-size: x-small;">(we had the whole band there, don't worry.) </span><span style="font-size: small;">Daniel was Richard Simmons. He was slightly less excited about his outfit, but he sported the leggings well.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">9. July- I was in College Station re-taking an anatomy class at Blinn, so I don't have many pictures...</div><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jSZJcDoakTY/TlLjCrH5JgI/AAAAAAAAEes/vri0sbRtqL8/s1600/282455_10150710203830327_655975326_19610905_753461_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pphZQqI3o3Y/TizRTDmFE2I/AAAAAAAAEbA/GsZPq9CLut0/s1600/IMG_0294.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pphZQqI3o3Y/TizRTDmFE2I/AAAAAAAAEbA/GsZPq9CLut0/s320/IMG_0294.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">Anatomy lab cats... yuck... told you that you don't want to see pictures from July... Please don't worry. I only took these pictures as a study guide... and are now using them as a blog illustration. I do not decorate my room with these photos. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">10. August-</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SvNRHrm4wj0/TlUimQ-Df7I/AAAAAAAAErQ/7AJ64L0dA4o/s1600/IMG_0367.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SvNRHrm4wj0/TlUimQ-Df7I/AAAAAAAAErQ/7AJ64L0dA4o/s320/IMG_0367.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Kylie's Birthday dinner! Love my roomie! I'm so glad to get to spend time with her again, now that we are in the same country!!</div><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"> Craft time! I made a beach tote in preparation for family vacation to Charleston, South Carolina, to visit my brother! First successful craft in a while!</div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-f0d0ElVsWTc/TlUi0po3a3I/AAAAAAAAEsk/GbIYMPJKh4o/s1600/IMG_0395.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-f0d0ElVsWTc/TlUi0po3a3I/AAAAAAAAEsk/GbIYMPJKh4o/s320/IMG_0395.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">This is how I enjoy the beach. Out of the water. A safe distance from the sharks, and reading a good book! </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IIR9A-FufUk/TlUi32JJOYI/AAAAAAAAEs4/5aKLw5snmmk/s1600/IMG_0399.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IIR9A-FufUk/TlUi32JJOYI/AAAAAAAAEs4/5aKLw5snmmk/s320/IMG_0399.JPG" width="239" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And this is how Coleman enjoys the beach. Notice the stellar 'stache, sweet shades, slightly slouchy socks, and super stetson. Ladies, he's single and stellar... just sayin' :)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--IhQAHmJuGI/TlUjEj3cLXI/AAAAAAAAEt0/PnI9t6UbS_o/s1600/IMG_0417.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--IhQAHmJuGI/TlUjEj3cLXI/AAAAAAAAEt0/PnI9t6UbS_o/s320/IMG_0417.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">I got to meet a manatee!!! No, this is not at the beach. While that may seem confusing that I was just at the beach in the previous picture. This was taken at the Dallas World Aquarium. SO COOL. I love aquariums, and have been to many, but this one was by far the coolest. I've never seen a manatee in real life, and I think they are so cool, as is evidenced by this photo!</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ja8WlUGZDz4/TlUjMn68_oI/AAAAAAAAEug/WI1wGyLnDJU/s1600/IMG_0428.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ja8WlUGZDz4/TlUjMn68_oI/AAAAAAAAEug/WI1wGyLnDJU/s320/IMG_0428.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;">This leopard was at the aquarium too... See, I told you it was the coolest aquarium ever. Fish and animals! It was like an Aquarium/Zoo, but only the cool animals from both. The only thing missing was the elephants, giraffes and platypuses <span style="font-size: x-small;">(platypi?)</span>, and it would be the happiest place on earth... I don't care what they say about Disney World.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hneCFgGSAbE/TlUjarbWnxI/AAAAAAAAEvo/XK79oPElecE/s1600/286820_10150275322432939_515372938_7996329_3409073_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hneCFgGSAbE/TlUjarbWnxI/AAAAAAAAEvo/XK79oPElecE/s320/286820_10150275322432939_515372938_7996329_3409073_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Betty and Gersan came to Tomball and spent a few days with my family. Conducted a few ministry meetings, and enjoyed their time here! Gersan has always wanted to be a cowboy. He can quote almost any John Wayne movie, and looked totally cool on the horse! Can't wait till we get horses for camp in Haiti!? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JIRbMCc4xDw/Tl3DdnAlJII/AAAAAAAAExw/WCrRr-vxzPg/s1600/336624_10150307514389521_503759520_7710943_5889055_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JIRbMCc4xDw/Tl3DdnAlJII/AAAAAAAAExw/WCrRr-vxzPg/s320/336624_10150307514389521_503759520_7710943_5889055_o.jpg" width="238" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> This past weekend I went up to San Antonio for my dear friend, Stephanie's Bachelorette party. I met Steph the summer of 06 at Frontier Camp, and we both ended up going to A&M and becoming great friends. I'm so excited for her and Mr. Preston Hill as they prepare to begin their life together!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So that's a little of what's going on with me. Thanks for reading. I'm going to try to stay up to date and not have do do 3 month updates anymore!</div><br />
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Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-66205066644710471572011-08-13T10:47:00.000-05:002011-08-13T10:47:16.189-05:00Announcement! Valcin Meet & GreetWell, I know I've been somewhat absent in the blog world, despite my efforts and promises to get back into it. I <i>do </i>have some reasons, I <i>have </i>been writing blogs in my head. I've been thinking and talking a lot and I am almost ready to come back to the blogging world. But today is not about me. <div><br />
</div><div>Today is about Betty and Gersan Valcin. They are the missionaries that I have spent so much of my time with in Haiti. They are my Haitian parents. They are a huge blessing in my life. God has blessed their ministry and given them a heart for the lost souls in Haiti. A heart to evangelize the lost. Train and establish pastors who will speak the truth and use biblical teaching. Help those in poverty, by providing jobs, building houses, etc. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Betty and Gersan are in TEXAS!!!! They will be staying at my house in Tomball August 20-24. I want you to meet them!!</div><div><br />
</div><div>Monday August 22 & Tuesday August 23 they will be sharing what God is doing through them in the country of Haiti. Together, we will share with you some of our hopes and dreams for the country of Haiti, for the people of Haiti, and for Jacob's Well. We will be answering questions, and sharing with you opportunities to be involved through prayer, giving, or going on a short term trip. </div><div><br />
</div><div>Please come meet them. I guarantee it will not be a waste of your time! <i>Come at 7pm on Monday, Aug 22 or Tuesday, Aug 23 for coffee, dessert, and talk of Haiti! </i></div><div><i><br />
</i></div><div>So to recap:</div><div><br />
</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Who: The Valcins</i></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">What: Sharing about what God is doing in Haiti with </span>coffee and dessert.</i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">When: Monday, Aug 22 & Tuesday, Aug 23. 7pm</span></i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Where: My house </span>(Call or email for directions)</i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i>Why: So you can be active in Prayer, Giving, or Going!</i></span></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">How: Please RSVP by leaving a comment with your name </span>(and what day you plan on attending)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">, or call Me </span>(Noelle)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> or my mom</span> (Marie)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">. Or send me an email at: noelle.gonzalez11@gmail.com</span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><br />
</i></span></div><div><i>Please invite whomever you may think would be interested as well. We want to get the word out about this, and I would love for all of you in the Tomball/Houston area, to be involved! </i></div><div><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></i></div>Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-62402471131461150922011-07-28T08:47:00.000-05:002011-07-28T08:47:48.067-05:00Quieter Times{This was written about a month ago, but not posted... oops! I've gone back and done some editing/changing. but most of this is still where I am today}<br />
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I don't know if you've noticed, but I tend to blog more when I'm in Haiti. I don't know if its because I think more there, or because I have no one I can pour out my heart and thoughts to <span style="font-size: x-small;">(so I just do it online for the whole world to see.)</span> I'm not sure why, but it seems like every time I come home it gets more difficult for me to keep up the blog properly. Not just online, but in my head too. Since I've started writing its really helped me process through stuff, no matter what the situation, once I write about it I feel like its more of a processed, learned lesson than just raw thoughts and emotions. Bottom line, when I don't blog I <strike>sometimes</strike> <span style="font-size: x-small;">(ok, most of the time</span>) feel like a crazy person.<br />
<br />
Since I've been home, honestly, even since I came home in April for those three weeks, I feel like life is moving fast and not giving me a whole lot of opportunity to think or catch up about things. I haven't been emotional at all about leaving Haiti, and I'm not really sure how to feel about it. Yesterday was the first day I really even gave it any thought, and when I did the tears came... I'm honestly not sure where the tears came from or why, but they did.<br />
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I'm now at Frontier Camp working as the "camp nurse" of sorts.<span style="font-size: x-small;"> (not there anymore, now I'm in College Station again.)</span> yesterday was hard. I had time to think for the first time in a while. I talk often of how living in two places can tear at your heart. It does. I miss them. There are actually quite a few people here at camp that have been to Haiti and can understand how I'm feeling to some extent, but due to the busy nature of their jobs it is virtually impossible to have anything longer than a 2 minute conversation. So I've been talking to Jesus. I guess all things considered He's the best one to talk to anyway, right?<br />
<br />
Its so humbling to me when I realize that I sometimes treat talking to Jesus as a lesser blessing than others. I mean, He can't give me hugs, He can't look me in the eye and tell me that its going to be ok, but He is the best listener with the best advice.<br />
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"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. My yoke is easy, my burden is light."<br />
He will not give me anything that I can't handle in His strength. His strength is made perfect in my weakness, and I am so weak sometimes. I let circumstances steal my joy, I let my selfishness get in the way of encouragement and loving others, I let the hard parts of the day rule, and the victories take back seat. His strength is made perfect in that. He is the one that can give me joy reguardless of how selfish I am. He is the one that can make me not focus on my problems, but on loving and encouraging others. He is the one. The only one that matters.<br />
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<br />
***<br />
<br />
Ok, so that was written about 2 months ago. Wow. I can't believe I've been home for that long! Its almost been 3 months! 3 months in Haiti felt like a lot longer than the last few months have felt here. Life here moves so fast. I'm not sure if I like it or not. I finished my 5 weeks at camp and I'm not in College Station re-taking Anatomy. Thankfully the class is going really well. It feels like its going at the speed of light. A 4 hour credit in 4 weeks. 4 hours of lecture a day, starting at 7:30 am. Its been tough, but definitely bearable. I'm still in the application process for nursing school. I'm reapplying for the program here at Texas A&M and for a program in Victoria, as well as a program in San Antonio. I'm hoping for College Station.... but really I'm hoping for anything... I'll keep you updated.<br />
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I promise I'm working on my blogging. I have diagnosed my blog-avoidance disorder, and I'm working at getting to the root of the issue. I think the best therapy is going to be blog therapy, so hopefully I'll be faithful in that. I don't make any promises. We'll see how it plays out.<br />
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Bye for now.Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-87793294347821240912011-07-13T13:26:00.000-05:002011-07-13T13:26:50.555-05:00Still AliveI've gotten a few comments, notes, emails from worried friends recently...<br />
<i>"Are you ok?" "Are you still alive?" "Why did you quit blogging when you came back from Haiti?" "Are you going to start blogging again?"</i><br />
<br />
I think the answer to all of those questions is "YES!" I'm ok. I'm alive. I did stop, but I'm going to start again. Here goes...<br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i>Dear Blog,</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i>I've missed you so much over the last month and a half. Its crazy how I didn't realize what a good thing I had till it was gone. I've missed you, you are such a good listener, you make me laugh, you make me cry. When I don't tell you what's going on in my life I feel totally crazy, like my thoughts are only a big jumble of random, but when I write them out, I can actually process what's happening</i>.<br />
<br />
Ok, so writing to the imaginary persona of my blog feels weird, so I'm just gonna write.... I'm out of practice, so bear with me. I'm sure the total-life word vomiting will come back like riding a bike. <br />
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I'm back from Haiti, but I don't think my journey is over. I'm on so many journeys right now. Some are new and fresh and exciting and challenging. Others are frustrating, monotonous, and tearful, while still others are windy, unknown, and looming over my head with a sense of doom and sunshine all together. I'm glad that the blog is flexible. Its probably going to be changing gears. I doubt that I'll have crazy life stories happening every day, or language-barrier issues, or other things I experienced in Haiti, but life continues. And up to this point God's kept my life pretty exciting and unpredictable.<br />
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So... Where have I been? I've actually been pretty busy this last month and a half! I went back to work at Frontier Camp as the Health Care Assistant for the beginning of the summer. It was so fun. So great to see all of my close friends again. Camp has always been my second home of sorts, and I love being there. The only problem was that I didn't have internet access while I was there, so the blog<span style="font-size: x-small;"> (and sometimes my sanity) </span>suffered.<br />
I've been home from camp for about a week, but dove straight into a summer school class. In fact, last week I was driving back and forth to camp from my class. Totally exhausting, but definitely worth it. Last week I had the opportunity to speak to the kids at camp about my experiences in Haiti, some of what I had done there over the past 4 years, and what God has been, and continues to be doing in the hearts of the people of the country. It was so rewarding to get to talk to these kids and encourage them to have a missional heart and mindset. When I wasn't driving last week I was studying, but now, with my first test out of the way I know what to expect from the class and I'm ready to be back to blogging!<br />
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Now, with no more Haiti stories what am I going to be talking about? Well, I usually just word-vomit my life, so we'll see how that goes. I also have a million ideas of things to try this summer, crafts, recipes, hobbies... I'll probably bring back the 10 on Tuesday... we'll see what happens.<br />
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I feel weird writing this post, its like I've been "on break" from a good friend and have a whole lot of catching up to do... My writing is feeling rusty right now, so I may just leave some of the catching up for later. But stay tuned for pictures, stories, ideas, and whatever else may run through my head!Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-36656532261674579422011-05-19T21:44:00.000-05:002011-05-19T21:44:22.352-05:00"N'ap tann ou"My heart is light, but also heavy. God has blessed me so much. So many times this afternoon through tear-filled eyes I exclaimed,<em> "Bondye te beni nou."</em> <em>God has blessed us. </em><br />
<br />
We had our final day of day-camp today. We ended up only getting to have camp for two days instead of three due to Haitian holidays on Wednesday. Camp went wonderfully. The children had a blast as always! Fell in love with the Americans and played their little hearts out. <br />
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At the end I asked Peter Marc to give them a little thank you for coming and dissmissal. He said, "I think you can do it." So there I go, to the front of the church to give the dissmissal. I thanked them all for coming and told them that all the Americans were so happy they came to camp to learn about Jesus. I told them that the Americans loved them so much and were so glad to have met them. I then decided that this was probably a good time to announce formally that I was leaving Sunday since it was going to be the last time they were all gathered together with me. <br />
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I told them that I was leaving Sunday, to go back to school, so I could come back and live here always. I told them that I would keep them in my heart, but I will miss them so much when I was gone, and every day I'll be praying for them. I started getting a little choked up as I finished talking so I decided to cut it short. I asked the lady that was leading worship to sing "He Has Made Me Glad" because its one of the ones I know and love. As they began to sing, I couldn't help but choke back tears. I bit my lip hard, but the tears came anyway. I couldn't believe this was one of the last times I'll see them all in the near future. I will miss them all more than words can express. I remembered how good and gracious the Lord has been to give me this gift. The gift of knowing Him better, knowing and loving His people fiercely, praising Him for His blessings in two languages. He <strong>HAS</strong> made me glad!! As I looked through tear-filled eyes at all the faces that were staring at mine I couldn't believe this was actually happening. God has blessed me to give me deep relationships. We may not be able to communicate everything, but we can communicate a lot. I am not leaving strangers, I am leaving sisters and brothers. As the song closed, and Peter Marc prayed, I thanked God for my blessings. <br />
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Poupette and Shelove came to hug me and they told me they wanted to sing me a song. They got through the words "Orevwa, zanmi'm..." <em>"Goodbye my friend"</em> then they trailed off and buried their heads in my chest sobbing. I felt like my heart was getting ripped out. These girls love me, and I love them. We are friends, we are sisters. They are two of the girls I've known for the longest. I remember them both from my first trip here in 2007. I've seen them grow and mature even since I got here in January. We hugged and cried for almost a full minute, then they pulled away and tried to escape. I looked up and saw tears filling the eyes of face I saw, some already had spilled over and were streaming down the faces of both adults and children.<br />
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I couldn't believe they were crying. I knew I would cry, but I did <strong>not </strong>expect for them to cry. Until today I don't think I'd seen a Haitian cry; they are a tough people. Now I have seen tear stains on the faces of most of my friends here. Colas pulled me aside and comforted me, <em>"We know you are coming back. N'ap Tann ou (we'll be waiting for you). You need to go now so you can go to school and come back to live here. We love you. We know you love us. N'ap Tann ou."</em> I looked at the faces of my friends. I kept saying over and over again, <em>"Bondye te beni nou!" "God has blessed us!"</em> I told them how blessed I was to know them and call them my friends. There were hugs all around and many tears. My heart loves these people more than I can even describe. Even as I type the words on the screen are starting to blur from tears forming. I can't imagine how much its going to hurt to leave them on Sunday. But God knows. He's preparing me. He's given me this blessing. He's put me in this place for this time. He'll give me what I need to make it. Its never easy to leave Haiti. But I've finished the task I was called to do. I need to go to school, and prepare for the next trip. <br />
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My goal for the entire time I lived here was to show love. That was always my motto and theme. I wanted the people I came in contact with to know that I love them always. Today I told a bunch of them, <em>"You know I'll always love you!"</em> They all responded with a resounding, <em>"oui!"</em> As I was leaving, a few of them started singing the song, <em>"I have a friend who really loves me, who loves me, who loves me! I have a friend who really loves me, and Norell is her name."</em> Praise Christ. Praise the one who has poured His love into my heart and caused love to overflow. Praise the One who can free them from slavery to the enemy and give them freedom and eternal life in His Son! Praise the One who loves. Praise Him for His blessings. Praise Him for the blessing of friendship. Praise Him, for I know I will see many of these faces in Heaven, if not on earth!<br />
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I can't wait to see my friends and family back home and hug the ones I love, and I can't wait to come home to Haiti. I know they will be waiting!Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-1821645510721632502011-05-19T09:58:00.000-05:002011-05-19T09:58:23.695-05:00Gersan church UpdateHello and thank you to all who have been praying for Gersan and the meeting at church. The meeting I asked for prayer about was scheduled to take place on Tuesday night. The people that he is meeting with, the church leaders had schemed to start a fight, and try to blame it on Gersan and get legal action involved. They were planning of falsely accusing him of being a ruffian to try to get the police involved. Gersan realized that this was the plan and asked that the meeting be rescheduled. The leaders are just trying to buy themselves time to spread more lies and false accusations about Gersan through the church. Thankfully the congregation is 100% behind him and supporting him all the way. <br />
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Gersan is here at Jacob's Well now and will return to Port Au Prince tomorrow morning. I'm uncertain if the meeting has been rescheduled or not, and if so, when it was rescheduled for. Please continue to be praying for him as this is a hard and hurtful time in their lives. <br />
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Betty and Gersan are planning on coming to the states for their daughter, Deborah's high school graduation, at the end of next week. Please pray that they will be rested and refreshed and encouraged in their short time home. <br />
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I'm not sure when the meeting is going to be rescheduled for, but pray for peace and rest in their lives!Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-4455216368751212432011-05-17T20:20:00.001-05:002011-05-17T20:22:17.288-05:00Unashamed love. [Guest post]Bonswa! Mwen rele Caitlin, Noelle's "ser" (sister) in Haiti. I am here visiting Noelle for 8 days and am captivated by the people, the culture, the beautiful children, the nature, and the camp, Jacob's Well. When Noelle describes loving two people and two countries, I find my heart longing for that same desire. The second I stepped off the plane on Sunday, I understood God's full intention for me being here; to love His people. Haitians are some of the humblest, most selfless people on the face of this earth; my prayer is that God would give me a desire to be like them. To love all, and worship One. <br />
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Today was the first day of camp. Children gathered from all over Ti Guinea to play games, make crafts, and hear about God's unfailing love for them. At one station, we listened to a Bible story and sang songs in Creole, and in English. In case you don't already know, Haitians sing loud. They lift their voices to their Creator, and cry out to Him singing "Alleluia, Alleluia!" They have unashamed love for Him. Hearing children and adults in unison proclaiming their love for Him in song, at the top of their lungs, gave me goosebumps. So many times when I worship I wonder who is watching me, or if I am deafening these people around me with my voice?! May God give me a heart that sings to Him, at the top of my lungs, even if it does deafen those around me. Their unashamed love is something that I long for, and something that makes these people unique and beautiful. <br />
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I find myself getting frustrated with the very limited Creole that I know. I am so thankful for Noelle and Jack and their willingness to run around and translate for me. My new saying is "Mwen pa konprann, di Noelle", translating to "I don't understand, tell Noelle". God willing, I want to come back one day, become fluent in Creole, and truly build relationships with the people here. They have so much to teach me, and I could learn so much from them. My new name for those who can't remember "Caitlin" is "Blanc", which means "white" in Creole. I was playing frisbee with a young girl and she kept screaming, "Blanc, Blanc, Blanc!!" when she wanted my full attention. It put the biggest smile on my face.<br />
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While my days here are numbered, I will have unlimited memories of the time I have spent here. The friendships that I have made and the relationships that I have started to build will travel home with me on the 23rd. I thank God for sweet Noelle and for blessing our relationship, I feel honored that these children would call me her sister. I pray that He would continue to use me to further His Kingdom and that He would continue to move me by using His people. <br />
Orevwa from Haiti!Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-39585719035016162342011-05-16T19:09:00.000-05:002011-05-16T19:09:29.723-05:00Prayer RequestWhatever you are doing at this moment please take a second and pray for Gersan Valcin.<br />
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Gersan is the pastor of a large church in Port Au Prince. He is a man who loves the Lord with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength. He preaches the truth fearlessly and passionately. God is working greatly through Gersan to further His kingdom. Over the Easter weekend over 40 people accepted Christ as their Savior. <br />
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Satan is not happy with the work that the Lord is doing through Gersan. He has caused great tension in the church leadership. There are three main families that feel as though the church is <em>their</em> church. They are not happy with the work that the Lord is doing through Gersan. This church leadership has a history of running pastors off. They want to be in absolute power. They have essentially fired Gersan from his position as pastor. Gersan feels that he has been called to stay and teach the truth. The congregation is behind Gersan. Many of them are praising our Father for giving them such a solid Bible teacher as Gersan. He is one of the only men <strong>on this island</strong> that preaches the whole truth of the Bible. <br />
<br />
The group of families in leadership have made this a very hard past few months for Betty and Gersan. They have done and said incredibly hurtful things. Currently Gersan is in a meeting with the leadership of the church. <br />
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<strong>Please pray for Gersan. Pray for wisdom. Pray for peace. Pray for justice to prevail. Pray for the truth to be revealed. Pray for soft hearts to hear the Lord's will. Pray that the Lord will make His name great, and that Satan will be defeated. Pray for strength. Pray for brotherly love. Pray. Pray.</strong>Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-27114056650667202392011-05-15T17:38:00.001-05:002011-05-15T17:42:34.184-05:00Tangible Accomplishments?I currently smell like gasoline. <br />
Maybe because I just bathed in it. Gross.<br />
<br />
I do have a semi-decent reason for smelling like the inside of a gas tank though!<br />
Painting. <br />
<br />
I painted all day today. I'd like to say that I creative painted, and that I painted something pretty, but lets be real for one second, I have zero creative bones in my body. It was fun though! I painted picnic tables with Tchaly today. <br />
<br />
There have been many times during my stay here that I have been jealous of the teams and individuals that come and get a million things accomplished in 1-2 weeks. Whereas I feel like I've been here for almost 5 months now and have accomplished next to nothing. Today, was fun. I got something tangible accomplished. Something I could take a before and after picture of and say, "I did that." But what was more fun than getting something accomplished was the lesson I learned today. I <strong>have </strong>accomplished things. <br />
<br />
<strong>I learned a language. </strong><br />
<strong>I formed relationships</strong>.<br />
<br />
Sometimes I say that and feel like I'm half lying, because I'm not sure how true those statements are. Have I <em>really</em> learned the language? Did I <em>really</em> form relationships? But after today, I know I can say those things with confidence. I feel like when I do something creative,<span style="font-size: x-small;"> (which, keep in mind that is rare)</span> that conversations flow. Today they did, although as I mentioned our work was not creative <span style="font-size: x-small;">(... maybe holding a paintbrush in your hand, no matter why, makes conversations flow</span>?). Today taught me what great friends I have made here. I talked to Tchaly for about 7 hours today, almost nonstop. We covered many topics, including the paint job at hand, politics both in Haiti and America, the economy, church, friends, he told me about how he met his wife, we talked about the other Americans that had come in the past and the ones that are coming in the future, he gave me relationship advice, we discussed music both Haitian and English, joked around, and just had a grand 'ol time! It was so special.<br />
<br />
I accomplished something tangible. I painted tables. But the best part was the realization of how much <strike>I have accomplished</strike> God has accomplished through me. It may not be tangible in the same way. But hopefully I have glorified Him.<br />
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I pray that I have made a lasting impact of God's love on the people I've been in contact with these past 5 months. I pray they will never forget my mostly feeble attempts to show them love in all situations. I will never forget them.<br />
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This is such a beautiful village. With beautiful people, who have ugly, lost hearts. I wish so much for them. I wish I could make them see and accept the freedom that they can have through Christ. I'm thankful for their joy. I'm thankful for their open hearts. I pray that I will see many of them in Heaven. I think I will!Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-25802592230877456222011-05-14T19:21:00.001-05:002011-05-14T19:21:44.570-05:00"Welcome, you'll find your beds freshly Febreezed!"Today I spent the morning making camp ready for the Camp Peniel group that is coming tomorrow. I searched through the depot for the mattresses and sleeping bags. Thankfully we have just enough for everyone who is coming to sleep on a semi-comfortable bed. Its only for a few days, so hopefully it won't be too bad. If nothing else, all the beds have been freshly febreezed! Isn't that what you want to hear when checking into a hotel? Well... At least we don't make any claims to be a 5 star luxury facility! <br />
<br />
Almost as soon as I had finished febreezing the beds, Jenny came to visit me. In case you've forgotten, Jenny is the baby that comes to visit me often. I love her! She recieved a vaccine for something this morning and I suspect it is making her feel under the weather. She's usually an incredibly easy one to hang out with, but today every time she's awake she's fussy. She'll wake up, scream bloody murder for about 2 minutes until I pick her up or change her position and then fall asleep again. Thankfully she's slept a lot! I'm hoping that when I go to check on her in a few minutes I won't find baby tee tee in my bed! I wrote this post this afternoon, and now it is evening. If you are wondering there was NO baby tee tee in my bed when I went to get her. But I was armed with Febreeze, I'm incredibly glad I didn't have to resort to that!<br />
Life feels like its back to normal already. Its funny how that happens. Both in America and here. When I was leaving to come back my mom said, "Its weird how dropping you off at the airport to go to Haiti is becoming kinda a normal routine thing." Yeah. I guess its not everyday that you do that. I am probably one of few people who start packing at midnight the night before they are headed out internationally. Haiti makes you flexible I guess. Life in America felt like it picked right back up where it left off. I still remembered how to drive like a normal person, and not a Haitian, and I still remembered how to speak English. It didn't feel like I had been gone for 5 months, it felt normal, with more hugs and more quality time, but I'm always ok with that!<br />
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I know I say this a lot, but I cannot feel more blessed to be in love with two places and people. Its a rare gift, and one that I pray I don't take lightly. <br />
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Note: My internet has been spotty as always, but this time I'm worried because I haven't actually paid for it this month. It is possible it will cut out at any moment. So if there are no more blog updates until I get home on the 23 just assume that is the reason! Thank you for your prayers!Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-53908887388115956352011-05-14T19:10:00.000-05:002011-05-14T19:10:39.951-05:00Home againI love this country. Sometimes when I'm home in the states enjoying the people that I'm with and the things that I'm doing I forget how deeply I love this country. Sometimes I treat it as a chore or a sacrifice to come home to Haiti, but the minute I step off the plane I remember my love for this place. The smells, even the bad ones, make me love Haiti. The language all around me, reminds me of "home". I couldn't help but smile when I saw the airport people with their little plaid shirts on and caps walking around and talking rapidly with one another. As I thought about all of this, little tears welled in my eyes. "I'm home." It is so weird to call another place home, but I do. This is not a beautiful place, or an easy place to call home. Only God, in His wisdom and with His grace and understanding could put a love for a place like this in my heart. Its also strange that 3 weeks ago I was longing for another "home". I felt the same way when I stepped off the plane in Houston. The smells, or lack thereof, the language. All of it made me feel home!<br />
<br />
<br />
On Friday morning, I woke up a little later than I had planned due to a late night catch-up conversation with Betty. She is such a wise and understanding woman. She is a wonderful listener, and I am so blessed to have her and Gersan in my life. We ate breakfast on Friday morning and headed off to the airport. Once in Cap Haitian I was greeted by Tchaly, Guerline, and Boss Varis. Oh! How wonderful it was to see them again! In true Haitian form, only one of my bags had arrived at the airport, so we ran some errands in Cap Haitian and then went back to pick up my remaining bag. On our way back to the village we had a bit of car trouble and were stuck on the side of the mountain for an hour or so. I was caught off-guard by none of this, I caught a nap in the car while waiting and then was actually suprised that it only took an hour or so to get going again. So while I arrived in true Haitian form, late by about 4 hours (because of the bag issues and car troubles), I was not greeted in true Haitian form, usually when an American drives by they are greeted with either blank stares or chanting of 'blanc, blanc". When people saw us coming in the car they ran to the street clapping and shouting! I heard some chanting of "Men, Noelle! Men, Noelle!" (Here's Noelle! Here's Noelle!"). A crowd of old men stopped their game of dominos to wave, and a crowd of young boys paused their game of football to cheer. Guerline commented that I was greeted with a party fit for the president <span style="font-size: x-small;">(The current president was a former rap star, so I felt like that was a big complement!).</span> Within 6 minutes of arriving, there was a small crowd gathered at the gate. The sun was setting more rapidly than I could talk to everyone. I got to see some of the little boys that live nearby, Kendy, AdeKa, Devon, and some of the other neighbor kids. Baby Jenny and her mom came by to say hello as well. It was so sweet, and such a precious time. <br />
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That evening I got to brush my teeth outside again. This is something I didn't realize that I had missed. But how many of you look at the stars while brushing your teeth? I had missed that special time and it was so sweet to look at the stars and brush my teeth again. I slept better and harder than I have in a long time, which is truely amazing considering how stellar the holes in my bed here are. <br />
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I'm so thankful to be home. And looking forward to the next few days here! I don't have long left here, but I will hopefully make the best of it all!Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-51162411264859907332011-05-03T21:24:00.000-05:002011-05-03T21:24:50.758-05:0010 on TuesdayOnce again, sorry for abandoning the blog. I've been distracted by life here. Its been going at a relaxing pace of 90 miles a minute. It has been relaxing, but its also had its crazy days. <br />
<br />
Today is going to be the<b> 10 on Tuesday:<i> 5 and 5</i></b><br />
<br />
5 things I love about being home: 5 things I miss about Haiti<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><b>5 things I love about being home</b></div><br />
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1. Family time. <br />
<div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1nxA0BcSNWM/TbSYR2io-WI/AAAAAAAADts/EBT2wAsYAE4/s1600/SDC10755.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" j8="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1nxA0BcSNWM/TbSYR2io-WI/AAAAAAAADts/EBT2wAsYAE4/s320/SDC10755.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">2. Driving dance parties to Justin Bieber and Jessie McCartney with my crazy sisters.</div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nl1uwt4zE_I/TbMwZo1r3GI/AAAAAAAADrI/BByWeac_FIg/s1600/DSCN1654.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" j8="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nl1uwt4zE_I/TbMwZo1r3GI/AAAAAAAADrI/BByWeac_FIg/s320/DSCN1654.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"> 3. Hugs.</div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6BV2PTrnpUk/TbL_Mmecy9I/AAAAAAAADnQ/3T9LqqGEguQ/s1600/SDC10729.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" j8="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6BV2PTrnpUk/TbL_Mmecy9I/AAAAAAAADnQ/3T9LqqGEguQ/s320/SDC10729.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">4. Reunions at LaBodega with sweet friends!!</div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">{not documented. utter failure.}</span></div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">5. Being able to put pictures on the blog again!! </div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-size: x-small;">5a. Did I mention hugs?</span></div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> 5b. Did I also mention sweet time with wonderful friends and family?</span></div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>5 things I miss about Haiti.</b></div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">1. Jenny. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(of course) This picture is from before I left. I put her in one of my shirts and headbands. I thought maybe when I tried to sneak her through customs they would think that she was my child. In the end, I decided it would be a better idea to leave her with her real mom.</span></div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RhHEyIIftNk/TbL8V_k4PLI/AAAAAAAADkU/tgtKfGkUfdo/s1600/IMG_0518.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" j8="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RhHEyIIftNk/TbL8V_k4PLI/AAAAAAAADkU/tgtKfGkUfdo/s320/IMG_0518.JPG" width="240" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">2. Sunsets on the hill with Guerline and Tala. </div><div class="separator" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nvE9guLUBJA/TVASuTm9G5I/AAAAAAAAAoA/8spEpMzQTZY/s1600/IMG_2282.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" j8="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nvE9guLUBJA/TVASuTm9G5I/AAAAAAAAAoA/8spEpMzQTZY/s320/IMG_2282.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zjVhkFjat9c/TV8rdJj0uqI/AAAAAAAAAto/4oOKyhuxqGo/s1600/IMG_2341.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>3. These precious little ones at school. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NQhQ11OMg_M/TVMt8n5HvQI/AAAAAAAAAok/6fzDEvui0eE/s1600/IMG_2285.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" j8="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NQhQ11OMg_M/TVMt8n5HvQI/AAAAAAAAAok/6fzDEvui0eE/s320/IMG_2285.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;">4. My Haitian mom and dad. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(I don't know how its possible that I don't have a picture of just us, but I thought I'd use the family photo.)</span></div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8M1wI9CBDT4/TYOqXLwxmYI/AAAAAAAAB_s/FKa9Rxj6qHA/s1600/P1000620.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8M1wI9CBDT4/TYOqXLwxmYI/AAAAAAAAB_s/FKa9Rxj6qHA/s320/P1000620.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">5. Hammock time. </span></span></div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">{also not pictured. I only have pictures of other people in hammocks.}</span></span></span></div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">I'm still loving home. I'm definitely missing Haiti today.</span></span></span></span></div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Please continue to pray for:</span></span></span></span></div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> -my trip back to Haiti on May 12.</span></span></span></span></div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">-my summer as I figure out what God wants me to do.</span></span></span></span></div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">-the 20 something applications that I'm working on (and my sanity.)</span></span></span></span></div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span> </span> </span></span></div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="" style="border: medium none; clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"></div>Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-87002400072140173972011-04-28T12:04:00.000-05:002011-04-28T12:04:30.376-05:00HomeI'm sorry for abandoning the blog. There have been so many times that I've sat down to write since last Tuesday. The problem with blog abandoning is that when you abandon for a while and come back there is pressure to make the new blog post stellar, and insightful, and awesome.... I make no promises for this particular post. I've been putting off blogging because I have 3 blogs written in my head. I had been planning on writing a certain blog for about a month now. waiting for the right time. Its not seeming to come. I want to just lock myself in a room and write for a straight 3 days. I probably have enough to say. <br />
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Home has been so refreshing. As many of you know, Sundays were getting so hard in Haiti. It was turning into such a wonderful, but bitter day. I missed singing to Jesus in my language. Hearing the Bible taught in a way that I could understand. Easter was going to be so difficult to be away from my family. God knew. He knew I needed to come home. He knew that I neeed time with my family. He knew that they needed time with me. Easter was wonderful. Time with family and friends was wonderful. I'm so blessed. <br />
<br />
Part of the reason that I came home was to work on some applications to other healthcare programs and such. The application processes have brought me to College Station and has resulted in some wonderful time with some sweet friends. I saw my roommates and friends last night for dinner, and I'm currently sipping iced coffee at Mugwalls and talking with some of my former co-workers. So many hours were spent with these wonderful people, with these sweet friends, making coffee, talking with customers, just enjoying life. <br />
<br />
Coming home has been such an easy transition. I was worried about the reverse culture shock that I might experience. I always have gone through it in some form or another. This trip home, the transition has been so smooth. Part of me feels like I never left. I just jumped right back into life with everyone, doing normal things, dance parties in the car, late nights with the family, normal life. Its been wonderful. Maybe its been easy because I know I'm going back soon. Maybe its been easy because I feel like I now live two lives. And I've come to the realization that living in two places is not easy. Its hard. And heartbreaking, so I'm showing myself more grace and patience. Whatever it is, the transition home has been wonderful. I've gotten some rest. I've been hugged. I've spoken English. Its been wonderful. <br />
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I'm sorry for abandoning the blog, but at the same time I have been trying to drink it all in. Every second. every minute. <br />
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I'm going to do my best to blog again soon. I'll post pictures. I'll tell you about the 3 blogs that are written in my head. Eventually it will all come out! <br />
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Keep praying for my village, for my friends, my family there, and here.Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3819146896700977363.post-24154237133722135812011-04-20T00:26:00.000-05:002011-04-20T00:26:47.905-05:00M'ap ViniI don't really know where to begin.... My heart is all over the place.<br />
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I have been intentionally vauge on the blog recently. Maybe you haven't noticed, but I have. I have 3 blogs written in my head that I just haven't had the clarity of mind to sit and write. I have avoided posting, even avoided reading other peoples blogs, because when I write, everything tends to spill out reguardless of whether or not I wanted to give all the details. I have told a few friends that I feel like I'm teetering on the see-saw of insanity: One second I'm fine, peaceful, trusting God. The next I am the opposite of all those things. Its been fun, let me tell you!<br />
<br />
Ok. so here goes.... <br />
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<br />
I'm coming home on <strong>Thursday.</strong> <br />
As in, day-after-tomorrow. Its still not super real to me. wow.<br />
<br />
<br />
Before you worry...there is nothing desperately wrong. It is just time. Due to recent circumstances and thoughts of my heart, <span style="font-size: x-small;">(which I have not shared because I've been blog-avoiding) </span><span style="font-size: small;">I need to go home.</span><br />
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My family is so important to me. My family members are 5 of God's biggest blessings to me. I am who I am because of them. I talked to my brother today. He has decided to spend his life serving our country. I saw him in December before I left. He has been "stationed" in Tomball since March and I'm missing it. He will leave 16 days before was planning on getting home. Basically, we didn't know this until today, but if I don't see him now, I don't know when I will. In the next few years, maybe. This is important to me. <br />
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Also, since Wednesday I've been thinking about the future. All those doors that opened when nursing school closed, while they are awesome and I'm excited about them, will lead me far away again. It was beginning to look like I would be home for a week, at camp for 5 weeks, and then very very far away again until mid-August. Some people can be away from thier families for 8 months and not even think twice about it. I can't. I could physically survive. But it wouldn't be fun. I don't do well if I'm not being hugged by loved ones. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(Have I mentioned that before?)</span><br />
<br />
Another door that's opened since this round of nursing school comes in the form of a monstrosity of an application for a different program. This has a very small window of time that it will be open, and requires a lot of time and effort. I will be working on this when I get home and have a more reliable internet connection. <br />
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Mainly, I'm coming home to be with my family. They need me right now, and I need them. I think God called me to love the people of Ti Guinea in Haiti. But He did not call me to abandon my love for my family. Originally the plan was for me to come home in April, but as I got more confident that I would be in College Station at nursing school I extended my trip, assuming that I would see them because I would be close.<br />
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This was not an easy decision. I first thought, "What will everyone think of me?" I let the fear of men overcome my heart. Will people think I've quit? Will they think I just got too lonely? Will they think I'm not strong enough to do this? Will they want to support me in the future? Will they think I'm flakey? Will they understand the reasons I'm coming home? I hope you do understand. If not, please ask me!<br />
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Also, I'm not quitting. In fact, I'm coming back. I'm coming back on May 12. I'm going to spend 3 weeks at home soaking up and loving on my family. Then I will return on the 12 to set up and help run the camp that I've been helping plan. Also, after 3 weeks of English, I'll need to brush up on my Kreyol before I am translating! I'll be returning again on the flight I had already had tickets for on May 23. Also, many of the doors that opened will hopefully lead me back to Haiti and this place sooner than later. <br />
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I've talked about how bittersweet it is going to be to leave. Oh my! I had no idea! I was a total mess when I told my friends here that I was leaving. I was able to tell Boss Varis and only had misty eyes. I explained everything about Coleman, and how if I don't go home now, I may not see him for a long time. And I told him I was coming back. Everyone is fully supportive, both of me going to spend time with my brother, and of me coming back. After that, I told Tala and Tchaly. I got through, "<em>I'm leaving Thursday" </em>and then started sobbing. Boss Varis had to finish for me. I finally pulled it together. And then Guerline walked around the corner. Seeing my red eyes she asked, <em>"Sa ou gen?" "what's going on"</em> I got no words out. Just sobbing. Boss Varis told her. All I could say over and over through my tears was, <em>"M'ap vini anko! M'ap vini anko!" </em><span style="font-size: x-small;">(I'm coming back! I'm coming back!) </span><br />
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I don't know if crying is culturally weird here, or if I'm just super pathetic when I cry. Probably both. They just kept saying, <em>"Don't cry, please don't cry. Stop crying. You are going to make us cry. Please don't cry. You are coming back! We aren't mad!"</em> I just wow.... it was so hard telling them I was leaving. I'm going to miss them SO much. Even now I'm biting back tears thinking about missing them. I told them its so hard to love two places. I told them that I'm going to leave half of my heart here, and take half with me to give to my family. Guerline told me, <em>"You need a bunch of hearts if you are going to keep them with everyone you love.".</em> Mission accomplished. My greatest goal of being here was to love somone. Even if it was just one person. Her saying that made me realize that she knew I love her. I just hugged her and cried. <br />
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Thinking about leaving in less than 36 hours... instead of 36 days. Is a strange feeling. . <br />
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I'm excited to see my family. I need to spend time with them before Coleman leaves. I will be be coming back. I could never leave like this if I didn't know when I was coming back, and know that it was going to be soon! <br />
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I think the hardest thing I will ever have to deal with in my life is also my greatest blessing. Loving two countries. Two peoples. God has loved me so much. His love through me makes this possible.Noelle Gonzalezhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05945792759324752866noreply@blogger.com4