It Is For Freedom He Has Set Us Free

*This post was started on April 11th, and finished this past week.* 

God is making a movement in this village. There is no doubt. Things are changing. God is blessing people. He is using Pastor Valcin in many ways to spread the good news of the gospel! Gersan has been blessed and we have been able to help numerous people with their living situations, their health situations, and their spiritual poverty. The training at the church here is far from finished, but much progress has been made. God lives in Ti Guinea.

Today I was walking around with Boss Varis and a few of the others who work with us. We were taking pictures of some of the families that recieved latrienes recently. Water Missions International partnered with us and we were able to build 25 latrienes in this village. Today as we were taking pictures I got to see many houses in the village. Some are large, and made with ciment blocks, some very small and made with dirt and sticks.

These houses all had something in common though: Multiple front doors.

Why is this significant you ask? It is, very significant. Let me explain.


I think in any country, even in the states, the further you get into the country the more spiritual people become. Sometimes, in some areas in some countries people are very spiritual and worship the true God. Sometimes people begin to put their trust in the plants for healing purposes and whatever else. Here, we are pretty far away from the big cities. And voodoo is big. In this voodoo culture every house has at least two front doors. I've seen houses with 3 front doors, 3 back doors, and 2 side doors per side. The reason for this is the belief that if someone dies inside the house the spirit will have a door to exit through, and the people won't have to use that door to walk where the spirt walked. Also, that way the spirit has plenty of options to exit, because lets be real, no one is going to want to come visit if there is a spirit in the house that can't get out!

As we approached one of the houses I caught a glimpse through the gate. It was painted beautifully, yellow and blue and red and green. I quickly realized this is a voodoo temple. This is the place that is responsible for preforming those ceremonies that have disrupted my sleep so much for many nights I was here.

My brain engaged as quickly as I could make it, and I began to really look around and try to see details and see what was going on. I couldn't make sense of a lot that I saw, but a few things stood out to me. The feel of the place was not what I was expecting. I didn't feel the oppression or the darkness that I was expecting to accompany that place.

I began to think that maybe the evil that was here could see the light in me and had run for cover. I'll never know. But it did make me think. I thought about how I had always perceived voodoo temples to be such a dark and oppressive place, but really this place was even possibly a little more up-beat than the others because of all the color. I think that voodoo is evil. Pure evil, but I think a lot of the evil comes through deceiving those who are involved. The voodoo priest didn't look like an evil man, he just looked like a sad, lonely, lost man.

 The other thing that clearly stood out. More than anything else, was how everything was tied. Random stuff all wrapped up in ropes and cords around the trees. There were ropes and cords wrapped around every surface with bottles, candles, chairs, feathers, plates, cups, flags all wrapped up in them. The cords went around, and around, and around, and around. On one tree it was probably almost a foot thick of cords and ropes wrapped around and holding stuff in. But on the door posts, and on random smaller trees, and everywhere things were wrapped, bound. Bound up tight. And that caught my heart. These people who are so deep in voodoo are so bound by Satan. So bound by the lies. And Satan is deceptive, he has them bind things up, wrap them tight so there is no hope of getting them out of the cords that entagle them. And while they wrap up possesions and inanimate objects, he wraps them up tight. Binds them so tightly in sin and deception that they have no idea they are bound. They begin to think that their bondage is normal.

But Satan has not won! God is moving though this village. Setting people free. Giving life, and life abundant. More than 12 voodoo temples were in this village when Jacob's Well was first established 6 years ago. Now there are 2. Both of those voodoo priests are losing some of their trust in their voodoo. They are curious about Jesus. They are curious about what is happening in these people's lives. Christ has set so many free. But the battle is still there. Satan is fighting for them still. He will tempt them again. But Christ is victorious.
Every time I come to Haiti, I try to spend some time on top of the mountains looking over the valley and praying. Praying for freedom. Praying for light. Before I came on my trip this spring I felt the verse from Galations very heavy on my heart. "It is for freedom He has set you free." I am seeing that freedom being given in the village. Praise Christ.

What Satan has bound and destined to destroy, Christ has set free and given life anew!

Noelle in a Nutshell

So I've been writing emails to different organizations recently to see what opportunities there are for me in Haiti. The more I write these the more I learn about myself I think. I think I've currently contacted almost 20 organizations so far and one has expressed real interest, but the jury is still out on if its where God wants me. I'm still waiting on a response for one and the others were either, 'no not now,' or they simply never replied to me. Which is fine, I'm sure they are all great organizations, maybe I got the wrong email address. I'm trying to give up being frustrated with third world non-profits in the Caribbean because there is no concept of time :)

I was planning on writing an email a few weeks ago and tried to come up with how to explain myself well to someone that I know, but don't know well. This is a woman that has a wonderful blog. Read it here. I read her blog. I love her blog. She is real. honest. funny. beautiful. from college station. and now lives in Haiti. (I wish I was all those things.) So while I feel like I know her super well she does not know me well at all. She and her husband Aaron just moved to Haiti and have a vision for a ministry called Mosaic Village. Which, if you read about it is just what I've been praying for.


So here is my not-so-short description of myself:


I have known Jesus as my Savior since I was 4 years old. I have loved Him deeply since I was about 13. I have not always loved Him well. Currently I am more in love and astounded by His greatness than I ever have been, but looking forward to knowing and loving Him more. God has done so much healing in my deeply broken heart this summer.

I have worked at a summer camp that hosts children ages 8-12 for the past 7 years. I love kids. All shapes, sizes and races. I love laughing with children and I never cease to be amazed at what they teach me.

I have struggled deeply with health issues for many, many years. I think that is part of why I decided to be a health major. Some of my health problems are because I was not responsible with my body, and some are because I am genetically predisposed to having a wacky body. Currently I am focused on changing the way I eat, the way I move, and the way I view my health issues. If I'm being totally honest, this is a very difficult aspect of my life. I've given up too many times to count. Today I am optimistic, we'll see about tomorrow.

When I was 8 I read a book about Mother Theresa. Since then I have wanted to do medical missions in a third world country.

In December 2007 I went to Haiti on a mission trip. If I have ever felt at home in a place it was then. I didn't ever want to come home. Every time I leave Haiti I leave a bigger part of my heart there. This past trip my whole heart was ripped right out of me and then shredded up. Piece by tiny piece my Savior knit me back together again.

I hope and pray that I will be a Haitian resident from January-May2011. My goals for when I am there are not to change lives or save the country although both of those would be stellar! I am praying that I will form real relationships. I want to love. I have been, and continue to be, so healed and filled by Christs' love, and I want to pour that out on others. I want to be a blessing to just one person. If it takes 5 months to bless someones' life then, so be it. If all I do is scrub toilets or change diapers for 5 months-then fine! I want to be a blessing.

Dream come true- I would spend 5 months holding babies while playing with toddlers while chatting it up with 5 year-olds while hanging out with teens and other Haitian nannies. I would love to love children as Jesus did while He was on earth.

I have a family that would support me through anything. They care deeply and give me their opinions on absolutely everything, but in the end I know its because they love me and want me to be safe. I think they would support me in almost anything excluding changing my name to Earl and becoming a hillbilly in Tennessee.

I have fantastic friends. Each knowing me, challenging me, and encouraging me in slightly different ways. I love them all. Some live 10 steps away from me, some live 10 states away. Thank goodness for technology.

I love to laugh well. I didn't genuinely laugh for a good 3 months after the earthquake and it was really a big step when I was able to be joyful and silly again. What a gift it is to have a heart that can rejoice and sing!

I'm passionate about people. I want to love God's people.

If It Ain't Broke...

...Don't fix it.

We've all heard the saying.

When I was younger the saying used to be "If it ain't broke, Noelle hasn't found it." (Coleman used to say "God is the maker of all things and Noelle is the breaker of all things." neat. Thanks Coleman.)

So, what if it is broke?

Well, I was.

When I started this blog the intent was to blog you through my life, but 6 months late. I've strayed from that. But today I'm going to do that.

6 Months ago I was broken. broken. broken. shattered. totaled. smashed. not functional. Get the picture?

My life was spinning out of control. I wasn't doing well in school. I wasn't sleeping well. My friendships were more stressful than encouraging. When I did hang out with friends I always came home crying. When I did sleep I'd have nightmares about the earthquake. When I did study I'd think about how pointless it was to be studying how babies suck their thumbs in developmental psych, or how Louis Pasteur made up a new kind of glass bottle with a swan neck in microbiology, or the tiny fossas and cracks in your bones and all the crazy names for them.

I didn't want to be in America. I didn't want to waste any more time. True, every weekend I was speaking at a different church or venue and raising money and awareness for Haiti. But I wanted to actually be there. I wasn't ready to be there. I would have just been a total emotion pile of mess.

Very few days went by that I didn't call my mom crying. I deleted my facebook. I turned off my phone. I literally wasn't sure that I was going to survive until Spring Break. I'm not sure what I thought was going to happen, but I didn't think I was going to make it.

Y'all. I'm not exaggerating. I was a total shipwreck. Not the pretty ones where the ship gently runs aground in beautiful blue-green water then sinks slowly, giving the sailors enough time to play and do rope swing flips into the water while waiting for a rescue ship.


I was this kind of shipwreck. Dark. Dirty. Messy. Scary. With no rescue boat.


I'm not exaggerating. I'm trying to accurately describe to you how broken I was. If I don't describe how utterly "without a paddle" I was, I can't tell you where I am now.

So I've set the stage. I was broken.

Even though I felt like there was no rescue ship. Even though I felt like I was without a paddle. Even thought I felt like I was on a roller coaster and forgot to pull that weird bar down over my head to hold me in.... I wasn't. I KNEW I wasn't, and that was the only thing that kept me hanging on. Even in my dark shipwreck I looked toward that weird scary, orange light and prayed for a rescue boat.

That rescue boat came. Not like a Coast Guard helicopter that lifted me right out of there. This was a little paddle boat that took a long time to arrive. I tread water for long time. And talked a LOT with my captain. And rescue came.

This summer God did some incredible healing in my heart. I know I'll never be "good as new", but I don't want to be!

I'm stronger with the mending.

When I was in Haiti. When the earth was shaking with aftershocks and I read aloud and quoted verses about God being my strong tower, my refuge, and my rock. That was comforting. When I was broken and I read about how Christ is the healer, that was encouraging. But I was still broken. When God showed up to that shipwreck and pulled me out and became my rock, my stronghold, my shelter, and my healer... that was life changing.

This summer was a slow healing process. I didn't wake up one morning and think..."WOW! I'm better!" But I did gradually wake up with more joy, with less nightmares, and with more peace.

This past Sunday was 8 months since the earthquake. It gets a little easier each month. This month, at church I cried. A lot! But they weren't sad tears. It was tears of joy and thankfulness.

I'm thankful that I was in Haiti when the earthquake struck. I'm thankful that God rescued me. I'm thankful for the healing He's done and will continue to do. I can't believe how in love with Jesus I am. When God proves Himself it really makes you love Him! Too bad it took me getting all smashed up to get to this point.

What's neat is that I realized that earthquake or no earthquake, I was a shipwreck. That helicopter rescue boat had already saved me once when I accepted Christ's gift of forgiveness all those years ago!

We sang "A mighty Fortress" at church. Its really basically the words I have been telling myself and praying for the past 8 months. I love these songs.

A mighty fortress is our God.
A sacred refuge is Your name.
Your Kingdom is unshakable.
With you forever we will reign.

Followed by:

Praise the Father
Praise the Son
Praise the Spirit, Three in one.
Clothed in Power and in grace.
The name above all other names.

My heart has been healed. Sometimes there is a need for a new heart of flesh to be placed within me. Sometimes that new heart of flesh requires my heart of stone to be broken... And I'm ok with that.

Life Lessons with Zac Efron

So last night I went to go see Charlie St. Cloud. Honestly, when I decided to go I didn't even know the name of the movie. I thought it was called, "The new Zac Efron movie." I knew a small part of the plot, but not much. I was fully prepared to cry throughout the movie, because I cry at some point in almost all movies. (Including Despicable Me and Toy story 3... bawled in them both.)

So anyway... went to go see Charlie St. Cloud. (If you have not seen it and want to, don't read this post until after you see it. I'm going to discuss plots and themes. Consider yourself warned.)



First off, it really was a good movie. A bit cheesy at some points, but it has to be. Its Zac Efron. Don't get me wrong. I love him. And Justin Bieber. And the Jonas Brothers. I'm not ashamed. I'm a 12 year old girl who missed her calling in life as a Disney voice actress. But its fine. No big deal.

Ok, here are the spoilers... so in this movie Zach (Charlie St. Cloud) is super close with his little brother. They end up getting in a car accident in which they both die. The paramedics resuscitate Charlie with an AED, but Sam, the little brother, does not make it. The rest of the movie is about how Charlie can't move on or let go. He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to move on and pretend like his little brother didn't mean the world to him. He doesn't want to have fun and live life while his brother can't. He has always felt guilty about being the one that survived and got a second chance. But of course he has to move on. In order for him to heal properly he has to move on. Its not easy, but he can do it with help.
Of course at the end of the movie he gets the girl that helps him overcome his problems, but its not without a LOT of pain and a lot of struggles along the way.

This movie pushed all of my "Cry buttons."
1. He has friends in the military that don't make it home. (If you don't know why my heart is close to the military read my last post.)
2. Its about his little sibling (while I haven't blogged about my little sisters I DO love them dearly!)
3. deals with great loss
4. Car accidents- Just so sad.
5. feelings of guilt for surviving
6. sailing... I don't really know... there is something so emotional about the ocean.

So what's the point of all of this? Not that I totally "identified" with this movie, but it did make me think a lot. I got in the car to drive home, tossed my hair and tried to shake it off. Then I thought, "Why don't we just slow down and think about all of this for a second?".... Then "How Deep the Father's Love For Us" Came on my iPod.

Cue tears.... small tears and a whirlwind of thoughts.

I haven't talked a lot about this, but I have wrestled with the Lord so many times and asked over and over why did I survive the earthquake and not all those children and others? I would be fine if I died. I would go straight to Heaven and start shouting praises to my King! What is greater than that? I have wished so many times that I could have died instead of the children. Or instead of the ones that didn't know Christ. I have felt guilty that I survived. That I left. That I have the luxury of clean water and a roof over my head. That I still have a family. That I have an education. on and on and on ad nauseum.

The earthquake in Haiti was the 7th deadliest earthquake on record in the history of the world! The WORLD, people. I'm talking since "in the beginning." (according to Wikipedia).

And I was right in the middle of it. Came out with some bruises, back pain, grey hair, and bags under my eyes, but I am 100% fine. One of the questions that someone asks Zac in the movie is, "what are you going to do with your second chance at life?"

I started thinking about how I was given a second chance at life too and I shouldn't be guilty about it. Then I thought about a line in one of my absolute favorite songs, "No guilt in life, no fear in death! This is the power of Christ in me." Then something clicked...

...Cue more tears. Big tears. I'm talking pull-the-car-over-you-are-going-to-wreck tears.

I was already given a second chance at life! This was my third chance! Hallelujah!! Christ saved me from death once already, when HE died in MY PLACE!! He didn't feel guilty about coming back to life! He died and gave ME a second chance at life, as a gift! And I took the joy that I found from that and use it to walk through life! So the earthquake was not my second chance at life. It was my third!

Its really hard for me to express all of this in my writing, but I just had such a sweet revelation last night. I got to spend some time just weeping for joy because of the gift of true, real life I have received twice now.

I am so thankful for moments such as these when God uses everyday things like a Zac Efron movie, or lyrics to my favorite hymn, to bring me to worship Him. I love it when something like this happens to forever make that line of that song special. Love it.


Thank you, Sweet Savior for saving my life and teaching me about your love.

(...and thank you for Zac Efron.)